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64 pages

English

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The book gives unprecedented insight for marriage enrichment by drawing wisdom from successful marriages in North America, Europe, Asia and Africa. The author interviewed hundreds of couples from these continents. The respondents who were couples who have been married for 20 to 70 years revealed the secrets of their success and the challenges which are facing married partners today. Thus the book enables you to identify the causes of failure and to discover the secrets of success in marriage and is therefore of unsurpassed value to married partners and those who intend to marry.

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Publié par	Book Venture Publishing LLC
Date de parution	09 mars 2015
Nombre de lectures	0
EAN13	9781941736227
Langue	English
Poids de l'ouvrage	3 Mo

Informations légales : prix de location à la page 0,0130€. Cette information est donnée uniquement à titre indicatif conformément à la législation en vigueur.

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The Secrets Of Success In Marriage
Copyright © 2015 by Dr. John G. Githiga.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the publisher, addressed “Attention: Permissions Coordinator,” at the address below.
BookVenture Publishing LLC 1000 Country Lane Ste 300 Ishpeming MI 49849 www.bookventure.com Hotline: 1(877) 276-9751 Fax: 1(877) 864-1686
Ordering Information: Quantity sales. Special discounts are available on quantity purchases by corporations, associations, and others. For details, contact the publisher at the address above.
Printed in the United States of America
Library of Congress Control Number: 2014918231 ISBN-13: Softcover 978-1-941736-20-3 Pdf 978-1-941736-21-0 ePub 978-1-941736-22-7 Kindle 978-1-941736-23-4
Rev. date: 01/06/2015
Disclaimer This publication is designed to provide accurate and personal experience information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the author, contributors, publisher are not engaged in rendering counseling or other professional services. If counseling advice or other expert assistance is required, the services of a competent professional person should be sought out.
THE SECRETS OF SUCCESS IN MARRIAGE
SECOND EDITION
Copyright by Dr. John G. Githiga
OTHER BOOKS BY THE AUTHOR
* * *
The Spirit in the Black Soul Christ and Roots Initiation and Pastoral Psychology Ministry to All Nations
Patriarch John Githiga is qualified to teach on marriage. He has been married to the same woman for almost a half century. I have seen him interact with his wife, and he is an example of a godly husband. I encourage you to read his book Bishop Tom Brown.
Tom Brown Ministries
www.tbm.org
www.charismatic.org
* * *
There could be no better piece of work on sustainable marriage than what one wound read in this book. The content which draws from success stories of couples who have lived together for over forty years would be a good guide to young couples and those contemplating to marry. The author whose marriage is in the above age bracket is a model of the story told in this book.
RT REV DR. GITHIGA, (BISHOP EMERITUS, DIOCESE OF THIKA)
DEDICATION
This book is dedicated to my father and mother, Isaac and Joyce Githiga and my father –in-law and mother-in law Hiram and Joyce Kahungu for honoring their marriage vows and for staying together in marriage until they were parted by death. And to Bishop Neville and Vera Langford-Smith, First Bishop of Nakuru, a celebrant of our Wedding, Who ordained me Deacon and Priest and faithfully ministered in Tanzania and Kenya for over forty years and for staying together in marriage until they were parted by death.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
I am most grateful to my dear wife, the Rev. Dr. Mary Githiga for being the most faithful companion and helper and to all those who have revealed their secrets of success in marriage and to Isaac Cyprian Githiga and the Rev. Dr. Waterhouse for proofreading the manuscript.
CONTENTS
Cover
Copyright
Title
About The Author
Dedication
Acknowledgement
Introduction
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty One
Chapter Twenty Two
Chapter Twenty Three
Chapter Twenty Four
Chapter Twenty Five
Chapter Twenty Six
Chapter Twenty Seven
Conclusion
Photo Gallery
The Secrets Of Success In Marriage
INTRODUCTION
The knowledge of the secrets of success in marriage is of vital importance since no institution is as challenged as the marriage institution. In United States fifty per cent of the marriages end in divorce which has devastating effect on children. Africa and other countries are not excepted. The marriage enrichment seminar which I held In Kenya identified the following as the challenges (changamoto ) which are facing the marriage: poverty, infertility, lack of mutual trust, adultery, lack of communication, misunderstanding, rejection from the parents of the spouses, finance, lack of transparency, violence, drunkenness, addictions, lack of marriage counseling or one of the spouse going with a wrong company.
In the following pages we will focus on the secrets of success in marriage. Being a pastoral theologian, I will started from the case and then move the Holy Scripture. I have learned that any success in marriage can be supported by the word of God. Since this work started when I was working as a chaplain in the USA, most of the people whom I interviewed are in North America.
Over the years I have been intrigued by huge success of 50 per cent of the marriages is North American. As a clergy who has ministered in this country for many years, I have been astonished by the way these marriage partners have devoted themselves to their marriage and the ministry. As I give pastoral care in the Hospital, I have been astounded by the way they care for each other in sickness and death. Most of these couple grew up during the great depression and are rightly known as the builders. They are indeed the one who laid a firm foundation in the United States. I have said jokingly, “if there is anything like human cloning, I would like this age group to be cloned”.
I have, however, found it wise, to interview them and ask them one simple question: “what is the secret of success?’ The question often brings a twinkle in their eye. They have openly and generously shared their stories. I have also shared with then the secrets of success and fruitfulness of our marriage. Most of the time our discussion is so interesting that they don’t want us to part.
This book is about the secrets of success in marriage. It is also about the success in life and in human relationships. Some of the secrets are intriguing and interesting. Some of my interviewers have said: “This have worked for us, it may not work for others.” There are some of the principles which have worked for a particular personality types which may not work for other types. But there are those which are fundamental to all marriages. We are going to start with those which are not obvious particularly in the society which is regarded as a patriarchal.
The last chapter of the book draws from numerous marriage seminars I held in Kenya. The group ranged from one hundred to seven hundred. Rather than lecturing them, I engaged them in discussion. The question for discussion was: “What destroys the relationship between a husband and a wife?” (For more information see my book : Initiation and Pastoral Psychology p.133-144.). In all the seminars there was heated discussion. I still remember a man standing at the rear seat of 700-members church who said: “We are experiencing a pull between two teachers-traditional and modern.” The tradition drew from the wisdom of a patriarch society while the modern draw from a society in transition which was becoming both patriarchal and matriarchal. Interestingly, the American couples who I interview reveal that American families are both patriarchal and matriarchal.
It has also to be noted that the couple may start as patriarch in the morning of their lives, but become a matriarch in the afternoon of their lives.
Chapter One
Let The Patriarchal Be The Patriarchal
J ay and Mary have been married for 58years. They were given a first prize at their granddaughters wedding for being the longest in marriage among the people who attended the wedding. Jay, who was in sickbed, holding my left hand tenderly stated that the secret of their success is “she does whatever I tell her.” “Do you also have “honey does”? I asked. The wife who was smiling answered for him: “he does, but I do more than he does.” She justified that he is the head of the family. “But more importantly,” responded the husband, “we have God on our side and we have each other.” The wife consented by holding his hands and giving him a winsome smile.
Jack and Janie have been successfully married for 42 year. Jack who was in the sickbed believes they have been together because each one knows her role. “I deal with big thing; she deals with small things.” You sound as though you are the head”. I reflected. “He is the head.” The wife confirmed. “But I am the neck, and I am the one who turns the head.”
If you are the head, the Bible admonishes you to love your partner as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her, to make her holy, cleansing her by washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any blemish, but holy and blameless.” You have to regard your wife as your crown and joy. You have to love her and make her feel loved. When you take Christ model, you will not regard your wife as your servant. Remember our Master said: “For the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Mark 10:45
Chapter Two
LET THE MATRIACHAL BE THE MATRIACHAL
A n Anglo husband who was married to the same wife for 54 years was the most out spoken: “The secret of our success is two words” “which words?” I interjected. “As big as I appear (he was 7’ 2” she was 5’ 2”) we have stayed together because of two words: “yes Mom.” The wife who didn’t deny that she is the head of the family. Added: “We have had a good marriage and never had any major disagreement.”
Another white couple who had a winsome sense of humor had been marred for 62