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First Edition Design Publishing - Francis James

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80 pages

English

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Description

ONLINE DATING: the Good, the Bad, the Hopeless! Is a unique journey of discovery into the private world of computer dating. The sheer insanity of everyday reality near impossible to duplicate in fiction, is detailed and shared in 24 exciting Episodes. Perfect strangers meet .... and the adventure begins. Bizarre, eccentric, tantalizing behavior so real, yet, so unreal.

Sujets

Dating

Humour

Informations

Publié par	First Edition Design Publishing
Date de parution	15 avril 2014
Nombre de lectures	0
EAN13	9781622875580
Langue	English

Informations légales : prix de location à la page 0,0300€. Cette information est donnée uniquement à titre indicatif conformément à la législation en vigueur.

Extrait

Online Dating: the Good...the Bad...the Hopeless!
Frank James

First Edition Design Publishing
Online Dating:
the Good . . . the Bad . . . the Hopeless!

First Edition Design Publishing
Online Dating:
the Good . . . the Bad . . . the Hopeless!
Copyright ©2014 Francis James

ISBN 978-1622-875-59-7 PRINT
ISBN 978-1622-875-58-0 EBOOK

LCCN 2014935106

March 2014

Published and Distributed by
First Edition Design Publishing, Inc.
P.O. Box 20217, Sarasota, FL 34276-3217
www.firsteditiondesignpublishing.com

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. No part of this book publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means ─ electronic, mechanical, photo-copy, recording, or any other ─ except brief quotation in reviews, without the prior permission of the author or publisher.
Table of Contents

Introduction

Episode #1 When 1 st is Last
Episode #2 The Merry Miss!
Episode #3 Intoxicating!
Episode #4 Madame X
Episode # 5 Hail the Queen
Episode #6 Julia Caesar
Episode #7 The Leaf-Eater
Episode #8 Pure Concentration
Episode #9 One, Two, Three Little Indians
Episode 10 Dr. Dr. Give Me the News!
Episode #11 Muy Bien Muchacha!?
Episode 12 In “Hot” Pursuit
Episode #13 Frenchy LaVonne!
Episode #14 Isis
Episode #15 Jock-Kay
Episode #16 Sunflower
Episode #17 Smokey The Bare!
Episode #18 A Star Is Born – Maybe!
Episode #19 US.—SR
Episode #20 Cat-thee
Episode #21 Bella Mia
Episode #22 Two-Timer!
Episode # 23 The 2-fer!
Episode #24 “Take a Chance”

In Retrospect
Introduction

Online Dating:
the Good . . . the Bad . . . the Hopeless!

I’ve just concluded a seemingly simple project of “dating-online,” in search of what I thought would be a fun adventure coupled with tender togetherness and ending with a new mate to Love, Honor, and Adore.

I, like thousands of others recently divorced, subscribed to a dating service that claimed they could provide an unlimited source of female prospects that I would find reasonably compatible, reasonably good-looking and all the other reasonable reasons I should join as soon as possible. More-over, I would probably find a mate quickly, fall in love madly, mate instantly and constantly, and live happily ever-after. But, I better hurry, since that one-of-a-kind beauty is online right-now, searching for Mr. Right and here you sit just thinking about it

Well, alright maybe they didn’t say all that, but it was certainly implied and I fell for it “Hook, Line, & Sinker!” I’m so gullible anyway. Then I thought, I’ve been looking at ten different dating sites all suggesting their ladies are unique, motivated, hot women. If one site is good, wouldn’t four be better with faster results! No additional work on my part. All of my info and pictures would be the same, but with quadruple the pleasure coming from four different sources. I couldn’t resist. It’s only money, Right?

How insanely naïve!

You’re totally unaware and unprepared for the following. What’s required is no small task: the preparations, the scheduling, the invites, the replies, the calls, the emails, the perpetual smiles, the cocktails, the shows, OMG.

I was ‘high’, on an adrenalin rush all day and half the night. Some week-ends, I had up to 6 dates scheduled. Breakfast, lunches, cocktails, dinner. You need at least six outfits, on hangers, ready to go at all times. Overtime with any date, screws up all the scheduling, the call backs, the profile reviews, the invites and forget about any free-time to your-self. It’s totally crazy.

More than a couple times, I would forget what day it was and go to a scheduled date’s meeting site only to find out the actual date is ‘tomorrow.’ You become so involved in the process, the lady almost becomes secondary and is easily discarded because of the “line-up” of others hastily created and waiting their turn.

Wow! That’s not all. In eight months I lost 20 lbs and spent thousands of dollars (most dates were Country Club venues). Some of the ladies could easily be classified as professional lunch grazers, cocktail-holics, or simply bored-lifers, ready for any change of scenery, pace, or companion.

I dated over 125 different women, not counting the 2 nd , 3 rd , and 4 th dates with the same woman. The 20 or 30 meetings that I found so out-of-place, so outlandish, I actually wrote a book about them. At one date, I was totally speechless . . . and at another, . . . I threw-up.

Sorry to say, I was not successful in my quest for a new life-long “Mate.” But I was never lucky in the dating department anyway. But, after thinking about it, maybe it’s not luck at all. May be it’s the fact that I really don’t know how to date. Sure a date is just being with another, it’s only a meeting. Nothing special to learn, just look nice. I was sorry to find, that that was not the formula. There is so much more to it, I think! It’s more than meetings and numbers, places and things.

I now think attitude, desire, and how you perceive your “self,” has much more to do with it than I had previously thought. It’s not like going out and starting a successful business . . . that’s easy. I’m discovering that finding a mate takes understanding, patience and closeness, and that’s very hard for a lot of people, including me.

My under-grad degree in Psychology, Behavioral Science in particular, has helped me so much in business, social and personal circumstance. I’ve come to know people by the way they walk, talk, laugh, and look. Unfortunately, none of that helped me find a mate. The enormous number of candidates available on these dating sites could provide any type, nationality and age of female date you could possibly desire, . . . but not one “ mate” could I find.

How can anyone fail at such an elementary, mundane, basic task? Sure I was everything to everyone in the business world, but dating is not the business world. The business world is fun, dating is serious business. You’re messing with someone else’s emotions and that is very serious. Just read some of the some of the dates I went on. . . read some of the excerpts. You’ll see what I mean.

After much soul searching, I’ve come to the conclusion that something on my part is missing. I think I must, in today’s market, “L earn to Date .” I feel that’s the only way I could possibly find a “Mate”. To the ladies, I’m not perceived as “mate” material. How do women intuitively know this? I think I need to be recycled from a “Dater to a “Mate-er.”

Maybe I’m sub-consciously sending vibes that I’m not really seeking a real, life-long mate, but rather a Play-Mate? Self-examination is so difficult because real wrongs aren’t perceived as wrongs, when the patient is your-self.

In essence, I think I have to learn the “etiquette” of today’s dating, much the same as the gentlemen “callers” in Victorian times. At that time, the male never knew what a “date” was, it didn’t exist. Instead he had to first convince his Lady’s Mother that he could earn the Lady’s trust and demonstrate he could provide adequate support, before he could even get permission to “call” on her. In those times, love or “chemistry” had nothing to do with it.

If and when I actually start- a-new, I promise to practice Understanding, Patience and Closeness besides my modern-day pledge to Love, Honor and Adore before ever attempting to online date again. I think many will eventually follow that advice especially after you see what’s out there and read the dates I’ve assembled to write about. Startling surprises and unique excitement awaits.

I have written from total recall, 24 separate Episode-Dates for your reading pleasure, or possible, displeasure. As for the future, I’m determined to learn the more acceptable/current dating habits, practice my promise/pledge and avoid any negatives that may be denying me success.
The “Dates”

Please enjoy, these few outstanding dates that one would never expect to originate on Major Online Dating Services, in a small city located in Southern CA.

Anyway, to give you some idea on what you could expect to find, here are a few excerpts from this Book:

ONLINE DATING:
the Good . . . the Bad . . . the Hopeless!

Excerpts

Episode #6 - ”At this point I felt nothing but contempt, but being the gentleman that I am, decided to put on a good performance for this reduced specimen of a woman. . . . as she talked, her voice faded and I tuned out. I could only visualize her lips vibrating and her green eyes squinting, while her mouth produced ugly, sinister, deep growl-like sounds. Her high cheek bones trembled and shook with emotion.

Her neck seemed to elongate . . .” Note : You probably will guess the ending of this one!

Episode #19 - ”As she entered, the loud intoxicated voices lowered to a dimmed, muted murmur. Even taller then I imagined, with her seven inch strappy white platform heels that adorned her polished French pedicured toe nails. . . . she called out, “James,” my name never sounded so sexy. I proceeded with my usual brief greeting of a “nice to see you kiss” this time however our kiss seemed to unexplainably linger and slightly losing my balance, I had to hold on to her strong erect torso that pressed ever so firmly against my ample tan chest. We were a picture of contrasts . . .with her delicate cameo white skin and silky white bodice, revealing just enough to delight, then coupled with a breezy, short, full-skirt with a peek-a-boo spider lace hem she was a sight to behold... Note : As you’ll discover in your reading, I said the wrong thing. The truth, but very wrong! What a finale!

Episode #17 - “. . .I suggested I would massage her tired feet! Whole heartily agreeing, she kicked off her slippers and laid her long, very tan legs on my lap. I started with her knees, and she was starting to doze off. Inadvertently I nudged her thigh, which kinda startled her and she bent her