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197 pages

English

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In this unique inquiry into the deepest incarnation of love, author Richard Matzkin has looked to his extraordinary, three decade long marriage to Alice as a living laboratory to research the elements that comprise a truly loving, magnificent partnership. He has discovered 39 Loving promises, statements of intention you pledge to yourself, not to your partner that are the behavioral components of a deep, abiding love. These Promises are a profound path to transform your relationship into a magnificent one. In addition to the usual vows lovers make to each other -- vows of commitment, honesty, acceptance, unselfishness, and fidelity -- the Promises include more obscure, but no less important ones such as: I Will Regard You As My Equal, I Will Participate In Your Life, I Will Challenge You When Necessary, I Will Not Manipulate You, I Will Protect Our Confidentiality, I Will Honor Your Family, I Will Respect Our Independence. Each one of these pledges are an essential aspect of a loving relationship.

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Publié par	First Edition Design Publishing
Date de parution	01 octobre 2016
Nombre de lectures	0
EAN13	9781506902456
Langue	English

Informations légales : prix de location à la page 0,0540€. Cette information est donnée uniquement à titre indicatif conformément à la législation en vigueur.

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“Immensely practical. I cannot imagine a book that holds more potential to improve relationships. Just reflect on one of these promises a day and the sky is the limit”

-Stephen G. Post. PJD, President, Unlimited Love Institute, author – WHY GOOD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE.
The Master Class
for Creating Magnificent Relationship

B y Richard Matzkin
Loving Promises, The Master Class for Creating Magnificent Relationship
Copyright ©2016 Richard Matzkin

ISBN 978-1506-902-44-9 PRINT
ISBN 978-1506-902-45-6 EBOOK

LCCN 2016945071

July 2016

Published and Distributed by
First Edition Design Publishing, Inc.
P.O. Box 20217, Sarasota, FL 34276-3217
www.firsteditiondesignpublishing.com

ALL R I G H T S R E S E R V E D. No p a r t o f t h i s b oo k pub li ca t i o n m a y b e r e p r o du ce d, s t o r e d i n a r e t r i e v a l s y s t e m , o r t r a n s mit t e d i n a ny f o r m o r by a ny m e a ns ─ e l e c t r o n i c , m e c h a n i c a l , p h o t o - c o p y , r ec o r d i n g, or a ny o t h e r ─ e x ce pt b r i e f qu ot a t i o n i n r e v i e w s , w i t h o ut t h e p r i o r p e r mi ss i on o f t h e a u t h o r or publisher .

Grateful acknowledgement is made for the use of the following previously published material.
Ingrid Goff-Maidoff- www.ingridgoffmaidoff.com
Meher Baba- Avatar Meher Baba Trust- www.avatarmeherbabatrust.org
Cover photo, selfie by Richard and Alice Matzkin
Cover design by Pamela Grau

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Matzkin, Richard, 1943.
Loving Promises: The Master Class For Creating Magnificent Relationship / Richard Matzkin
p. cm.
ISBN 978-1506-902-44-9 pbk, 978-1506-902-45-6 digital

1. FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS / Love & Romance. 2. / Marriage & Long Term Relationship. 3. / Friendship.

L9118
To my parents, Ruth and Jack, whose love sustained me.
To the teachers and guides, whose love informed me.
To Swami Muktananda, whose love uplifted me.
To those who loved me and whose love I tried to return.

And to Alice, whose love awakened my love and taught my heart to sing and my soul to dance.
Acknowledgements

Although her name doesn't appear on the cover, Alice is really the true author of this book. I have merely tried to put into words the beautiful person she is and the magnificent love and friendship that she gives.

The thoughts, insights and blessings of so many wise authors, guides, models and teachers have contributed to my understanding of love that it is impossible to name them all.

I would like to gratefully acknowledge the contribution of my editors, Cinnie Riddle and Pianta. Their work added clarity and correctness to the writing while allowing my voice to come through. I thank my brother-in-law, Robbie Long for his enthusiasm and patient, thoughtful reading, and our friends and relatives for their support and encouragement. Grateful appreciation is due cousin Pam Grau for her generous, loving advice and for creating the cover.

Lastly, I would like to acknowledge myself. I can honestly say that the process of thinking about love and writing this book has given me far greater understanding and made me a better lover. There have been very few projects in my life that I have brought to a satisfactory conclusion. This book is one of them, (although I know that as soon as it is in print I will want to make changes). I have poured my mind, heart and soul into its pages. Completing it has been my obsession for a long time, especially the last year. I feel good about it. With a bittersweet mixture of sadness because it's over and a sigh of relief, I finally lay down my pen.
Lovers—by Richard Matzkin. The sculpture is from our book, The Art of Aging: Celebrating the Authentic Aging Self. It is from the series, Old Lovers. The couple depicted is old, denoting an enduring relationship. They are naked, signifying openness and transparency. Their sensuous embrace indicates a continuing enjoyment of life and love.
AN EDITOR ’ S PREFACE

I was surprised and honored when Richard asked me if I would edit Loving Promises . My evenings and weekends were spent immersed in the precepts of a loving relationship as I meticulously parsed the manuscript, sentence by sentence. Eventually I got an early mockup of the original cover, which featured Richard’s sculpture of a couple in a deep embrace. It spoke of trust, tenderness and caring. I focused on that photo while I searched my mind for the right arrangement of words.
My life was full. I lived alone in my beautiful home and was blessed with a wonderful circle of friends. I had everything I needed and was happy in my “singleness.” Nonetheless, I felt the lack of a deeply committed partner.
As I completed more and more of the manuscript, I felt I was embodying the Loving Promises, creating an internal alchemy of Love. This book was not just a guide to being in relationship with another person – it was a guide to becoming a more loving person myself. I felt I was being transformed into someone who was kinder, more patient, less manipulative, more honest, less judgmental . . . This meditation on relationship was making me into a better person, emptying my persona of the selfish and uncooperative parts of myself that lay like landmines for the unsuspecting partner.
Several months into the editing process, I received an email from an old friend. For the last few years, Lincoln and I had hung out occasionally, meeting for dinner with friends or alone. Our connection had been open-hearted; he was kind and attractive, and it was easy to be together. We laughed and talked through each meal. But, no matter how much fun we had, he clearly wasn’t interested in taking the connection beyond friendship. As we’d said goodbye last March, I invited him to come and visit some time. He seemed bemused, and I could tell that this Oregon guy had little interest in coming back to L.A., or in being any more than friends with me.
So I was surprised to get his email in October, proposing a visit in December. He said he was coming on a business trip and needed a place to crash while he was in town. I didn’t think much about his visit, having heard from a mutual friend that he was still hung up on an old girlfriend. I stayed focused on my day-to-day life and Loving Promises .
When Lincoln finally arrived, I boldly asked him if he had come to be in relationship with me. Somewhat shyly, he answered that he had. We took it slowly, but soon it became clear that we both had come “ Home. ” Our relationship was the one I had been waiting for, my entire life, and I was finally ready to receive it.
Love in the “third quarter” has its challenges (like love in any quarter, I’m sure.) How we work through those challenges remains to be seen. But no matter what happens, the truth is that I invited Love into my life, and Love showed up.
Loving Promises literally transformed my heart and helped me to become a more beautiful person, one who can give and receive love. My intimate journey with the book created an alchemical field of a higher kind of Love. As that Love grew inside me, I attracted a similar Love in a human form, a wonderful man with whom to share my heart and my life. I had deepened my intention to be with a loving partner; then I allowed myself to be transformed enough to pull him into my life. It was a transformation set in motion by Loving Promises.

Cynthia Riddle
Someday, after mastering the winds, the waves, the tides and gravity, we shall harness for God the energies of love, and then, for a second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.

Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
Table of Contents

PART ONE
Love ........................................................................................................ 17

Growing A Magnificent Relationship...................................................... 19
Full Pallette Love .................................................................................. 33
Our Love Is My Responsibility............................................................... 47

PART TWO
The Promises ............................................................................................. 63

Introducing The Loving Promises........................................................... 65
Understanding The Loving Promises....................................................... 79

PART THREE
Fulfilling The Promises .............................................................................. 223

Encountering Conflict......................................................................... 225
Ways To Work With The Loving Promises........................................... 255
The Promise Of Loving....................................................................... 281

Epilogue - Our Story By Alice .............................................................. 293
Afterword - World Peace ...................................................................... 309
Appendix - Meditation ........................................................................ 311
Introduction

Alice and I have a magnificent relationship. It is my crowning achievement, the accomplishment in my life of which I am most proud. There's nothing I have devoted so much attention to, nothing that is more important for me to perfect. And there is nothing that has provided me greater rewards than my relationship with Alice.
We are considered by the people who know us, to be models of a perfect couple. Even total strangers sense and comment on our obvious love for each other. Alice and I are best friends, each other’s ardent admirers, cheerleaders, and helpmates. We invariably enjoy each other’s company, settle our rare conflicts fairly and harmoniously, and wake up every morning happy to see that old face on the pillow next to us. We are as passionately in love with eac