Date Night Manifesto , livre ebook

Troubador Publishing Ltd - Sophia Ledingham

Découvre YouScribe en t'inscrivant gratuitement

Je m'inscris

Obtenez un accès à la bibliothèque pour le consulter en ligne
En savoir plus

130 pages

English

Vous pourrez modifier la taille du texte de cet ouvrage

Obtenez un accès à la bibliothèque pour le consulter en ligne
En savoir plus

A propos
Informations
Extrait

Description

Are you child-free, or do you have one, two or more adorable mini-mes?Are you in your first committed relationship, or third-time lucky? Be it two or forty-two years together, there's a lot to discover from Date Night. In her new book, The Date Night Manifesto, Sophia Ledingham chronicles Date Nights - hers and others - in upmarket and often fashionable places. Ranging from Hackney's Bistrotheque to Dublin's iconic Shelborne Hotel, to Amsterdam's infamous Supper Club, the author features some of the most desirable Date Night destinations. But setting, wherever yours might be, is only part of the solution. All kinds of couples love the enriched connection that comes from Date Night. Once the cloak of domesticity disappears, you'll find yourself revealing your romantic and attentive self. Using the Date Night Manifesto is a great way to discover new things about each other, even if you've been together for what feels like a lifetime.Whether you have clocked up double-digit anniversaries or are still savouring the wedding cake, the Manifesto's 16 principles will give you more to celebrate. The Date Night Manifesto will appeal to all couples, particularly those in established relationships, looking to reconnect, have fun and build stronger relationships.

Sujets

Dating

Informations

Publié par	Troubador Publishing Ltd
Date de parution	20 mars 2018
Nombre de lectures	0
EAN13	9781784627652
Langue	English

Informations légales : prix de location à la page 0,0200€. Cette information est donnée uniquement à titre indicatif conformément à la législation en vigueur.

Extrait

Copyright © 2015 Sophia Ledingham
The moral right of the author has been asserted.
Apart from any fair dealing for the purposes of research or private study, or criticism or review, as permitted under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988, this publication may only be reproduced, stored or transmitted, in any form or by any means, with the prior permission in writing of the publishers, or in the case of reprographic reproduction in accordance with the terms of licences issued by the Copyright Licensing Agency. Enquiries concerning reproduction outside those terms should be sent to the publishers.
The anecdotes in this book are based on Sophia Ledingham's personal experience and research.
In order to protect the privacy of those featured, some of the couples described are composites.
In all cases, names and identifying information have been changed.
Cover design and illustration by Kate Forrester
Matador
9 Priory Business Park,
Wistow Road, Kibworth Beauchamp,
Leicestershire. LE8 0RX
Tel: (+44) 116 279 2299
Fax: (+44) 116 279 2277
Email: books@troubador.co.uk
Web: www.troubador.co.uk/matador
ISBN 978 1784627 652
British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data.
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

Matador is an imprint of Troubador Publishing Ltd
Many years ago my man—who shall be known as “Himself”—asked me to write down what I wanted from my requested Date Night.
At that time I couldn’t articulate what I was looking for. But now, after fifteen years of regular Date Nights, I’ve been able to shape and refine a Manifesto: 16 guiding Principles or Intentions, for a successful Date Night.
Each Principle stems from one or more actual Date experiences. You will see as you read through the Manifesto that I have learnt most from those that flopped , failing to yield any romance. Now you can learn and benefit, like Himself and I have, from my mistakes.
It’s taken me many years, but here it is.
To Himself,
who is a great date.
Contents
The Introductory Bit
What Is Date Night?
Is This Right for Us?
The Birth of the Date Night Manifesto
The 16 Principles
Putting Your Best Foot Forward
Part One: Date Night Prep
1. Get Your Beauty Sleep
2. Book Your Table for Two
3. Find Your Date Night Finery
4. Arrive ‘in Smile’
5. Romance Won’t Wait (Don’t Be Late)
Part Two: Date Night Decorum
6. Hang off Their Every Word
7. Every Venue Has a Silver Lining
8. Toast Your Togetherness
9. The Etiquette of Flattery
10. Reveal More (but No Strip Tease—Yet)
11. Wanted: Good Sense of Humour
Part Three: Date Night Vitamins
12. Negativity No-Nos
13. Be a Lover Not a Fighter
14. Keep Your Eyes on the Prize (Your Beloved)
15. Take a Break from ‘Decisions We Must Make’
16. Shelve Those Domestic Details
Date Night Accessories
Date Idea-Sparkers
Keeping Score
Dealing with ‘Date Night Resistance’
Words of Encouragement
Notes
Giving Credit Where It’s Due
More about Myself
More about Himself
T HE I NTRODUCTORY BIT
What Is Date Night?

A Date Night is a romantic evening for two people who are in an established relationship.
That’s right, a romantic evening. Not just any old “let’s pop down to Pizza Hut” evening. Not even a “let’s order pizza in and snuggle in front of the TV” evening. A Date Night is a proper date. With your partner.
“But we’re committed already,” you say. “Why do we need a Date Night?”
Well, think about this.
Maybe you work hard to be the ‘host or hostess with the mostess’. You’ve perfected your party charm and you’d never dream of upsetting your guests. Maybe you pride yourself on finessing your corporate relationships. You make a note to remember the names of your boss’s children or a client’s wife, or a staff member’s holiday plans. And here’s the point: just look at the energy you invest in entertaining colleagues, clients and friends. Do you invest the same effort for your ‘other half’? Unfortunately most of us don’t.
Yet colleagues and clients will come and go, friends hopefully less so. But our significant other, committed life partner, husband or wife is someone you intend to be with for a much longer period; even ‘until death do us part’.
Date Night, then, is an evening where you invest energy in nurturing a romantic relationship. This book is a practical guide to romance.
How would you describe a romantic evening? Perhaps…

• a candlelit Valentine’s dinner with roses and champagne…
• walking hand in hand along a beach into a majestic sunset…
• cuddling on a rug in front of a cosy fireplace.
Maybe you’d recall memorable evenings on holiday, or let your imagination take you to the most romantic of settings…

• a bottle of wine with a view of the Eiffel Tower…
• a horse and carriage ride through New York’s Central Park…
• a glamorous dinner at a Balinese beach resort…
• an evening gondola ride in Venice…
• a penthouse suite with city views and an enormous spa bath…
• horse-riding bareback behind a handsome stranger, with hair and white robes a-flowing—OK stop daydreaming right there.
Mills and Boon , the hallmark of the romance novel, is unfortunately not based in reality. Neither are many scenes from television and movies. You may live on the other side of the world from Paris, you may not be able to afford a Sex and the City lifestyle or your holidays might be unavoidably child-centred. And while we’re on the subject of romantic stereotypes, the reality may be that your ‘knight in shining armour’ or ‘dark, dashing silent type’ is prone to a receding hairline and a paunch, and is partial to sports television. Or that your ‘English rose’ or ‘girl next door’ is a hazard in the kitchen, a sucker for reality programs, and lets her leg hair grow in winter. This book helps you get real about romance.
Getting real about romance means recognising that it is harder now in a committed relationship than it ever was in your early days. Why? Because romance involves a sense of mystery, excitement and remoteness from everyday life. Remember those ‘butterflies in the stomach’ from your first Dates? The anticipation… will she… won’t he? Well that surge of excitement is probably long gone, or has at least lost its lightening strike. As a couple, your patterns of conversation are now entrenched in daily life: “What are we doing this weekend?”, “Did you book the car in for a service?” Such dialogue will hardly foster a feeling of romance. This book helps you take responsibility for the romance in your life.
To boost romance, you’ll need to redirect the conversation away from the usual domestic details. And let’s not forget that being romantic requires us to be lovable and loving. Take note—a romantic time for two doesn’t necessarily involve sex. There is more importance placed on the emotions of love, intimacy, compassion, and appreciation rather than physical pleasure. But… putting effort into making your spouse or partner feel great could well make him or her feel more partial to a little bedroom action. So whilst a romantic evening may or may not involve physical intimacy, it does involve a loving time, where you feel emotionally connected, special and attractive.
It’s easy to take the other for granted, so being romantic, loving and lovable, requires focus. This is where having a Date Night can be especially helpful. But still—why is ‘any other evening out’ not necessarily a Date Night? Because there isn’t always a shared understanding about the romantic intent of the evening. You may go out for convenience, being too tired or uninspired to cook – “let’s go down to that little Thai place”. On such evenings, it may end up being a wonderful romantic time. However, you’re very likely to end up catching up on household administration, talking about the trivialities of the day, sharing frustrations or making future plans. Or, in fact, not talking much at all. All of which is typical couple behaviour.
At this point, a sceptic might say “Isn’t Date Night a bit… contrived?”
Why yes, it is. It is the contrived nature of Date Night that aims to make it romantic.
The Oxford Dictionary definition of ‘contrive’ is ‘to create or bring about (an object or a situation) by deliberate use of skill and artifice’. Let’s learn from our early dating years and those first Date experiences, which are in themselves highly orchestrated events. When you first meet someone special you make an effort to have a great time with them. You think carefully about the practicalities of the evening: from what to wear and styling your hair, to the ideal location and how to get there in good time. You might ponder what to share about yourself, and safe yet stimulating topics of conversation. See? Skill and artifice.
Generally we do make a tremendous effort for first Dates. If your dating memory is failing you, which is a sure sign of your established relationship, ask someone who is on (or back on) the dating scene, how much time they invest in preparing and anticipating a Date. It is the forethought, awareness and attention that help to make the night romantic. It is these elements that contrive to bring about an ideal outcome! And remember the formality of the first Date invite? One of you invites the other on a Date. You agree on the time and arrangements. Underlining this agreement to the Date is the shared, implicit understanding about the hoped-for romantic intent of the evening.
Let’s not underplay the importance of these mutual romantic understandings from the past. After all it was these first Dates which launched the relationship that you have now! But while those were about getting together and increasing your ‘being together’, you are now very much together. In a live-in relationship, married or otherwise, partners normally make assumptions about the time they spend together. Often the intent of an evening is not spelled out and can lead to miscommunications. For example, Lauren learnt that her husb