The Ups and Downs of Aging Beyond Seventy Years , livre ebook

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90 pages

English

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Life grows ever more complex as each choice is shadowed by the loss of future time. Hope, a positive attitude, becomes mellowed in accepting the nearing of the end.
Two psychological periods emerge: the first is described as the Summing-Up Period and the second as the Encore Phase in life. The Summing-Up Period of life brings a driving force to attain a congruence of forces within oneself, complete unfinished personal tasks and fulfill unsatisfied experiences, and compassion, a wish to give others, now encountering once-familiar problems, with compassion and understanding. The Encore stage of life may be more physically passive, but it is a time of sayonara, of saying goodbye with gratitude and forgiveness for all; of serene-ness, an acceptance of all life has given, even as sorrows increase, and of soliloquys, a review of life. All are diffused with gratitude and solace for others.

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Biography

Autobiography

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Publié par	Xlibris US
Date de parution	23 mai 2023
Nombre de lectures	0
EAN13	9781669877974
Langue	English

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THE UPS AND DOWNS OF AGING BEYOND SEVENTY YEARS

VIOLA B. MECKE, PH.D., ABPP

Copyright © 2023 by Viola B. Mecke, Ph.D., ABPP.

Library of Congress Control Number:
2023909364
ISBN:
Hardcover
978-1-6698-7799-8

Softcover
978-1-6698-7798-1

eBook
978-1-6698-7797-4

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.
Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Rev. date: 05/17/2023

Xlibris
844-714-8691
www.Xlibris.com
851449
Contents
Prologue
Chapter 1An Introduction to Growing Older-Old: After Seventy
Chapter 2Who Are We? What Has Changed?
Chapter 3A Home for Growing Older
Chapter 4The Positivity of Aging
Chapter 5Aloneness … Loneliness … Isolation … Depression
Chapter 6Confidence and Trust Lost - Life in a Hurtful World
Chapter 7The Loss of Independence: Walking
Chapter 8The Loss of Independence: Falling What Makes Falling Happen So Often?
Chapter 9The Loss of Independence: The Automobile
Chapter 10Grandparents, Parents, and Grandchildren - Their Importance
Chapter 11The Shades of Life Are Drawn
Chapter 12The Stopping Point
Prologue
The Complexities of Aging
This book comes from my heart. It is rooted in encounters with crises brought by growing into the oldest-old phase of life. Past experiences of family and friends growing older, some dying, mark the significance of each day and the meaningfulness of life. Aging brings personal and social crises that are often inevitable and seldom anticipated. The loss of health, energy, memory, and even thinking in those dear to me was ever refreshed by their creative readjustments to changes compelled by age. I am constantly amazed by the vigor of the oldest persons who are determined to make a day satisfying and retain an empathic concern for others and a reflective interest in the world about them.
Our society has a youth-oriented and youth-admiring culture. The technocratic culture is foreign to most oldsters who stumble with the use of cellphones, computers, and “cloud” technology. It is the world of youth, with infants in a crib delighted by playing with video toys. Even though an increasing percentage of the population falls in the older ages, our society is beset by failures to understand, respect, or revere the aged as it has been so in past generations. The societal reaction has brought increasing discrimination and anger toward elders in neglect and abuse. The growth of “independent living” housing is a subtle isolation of the aged presented as ideal communities for them. Consequently, while we accept the idiosyncrasies of adolescents, oldness in the population is rued.
The Ups and Downs of Aging is written to describe the conflicts and clarify the complexities encountered by the oldest of persons as they meet the problems of leaving their home, alterations in physical propensities, immense losses of social relationships, and strengthening or impairment of personality characteristics. Over 75 percent will experience hearing problems and visual difficulties and suffer more than two chronic illnesses.
I have tried to include insights into problems and conflicts besetting the oldest-old, which hopefully will make their pathway more secure and predictable. Understanding the awful normality of changes will enable some acceptance for adjustment to changes and lessen the confusion, anxiety, and depression in the person, their family, and their friends. These last days add sorrows that old age brings. One friend developed neurological decompensation of his spine. Medical professionals have recommended assisted living so that he receives the necessary care. A strong, independent person, and yes, stubborn, who had roller-skated about the community, will now be living in an institution, mostly a solitary existence. Life brings unpredictable problems and ends. How can life be gratifying and peaceful facing the end?
My perspective has been to bring understanding and help for the oldest-old individuals and thereby reinforce the love bonding with families and friends.
I thank all those who have contributed to the years of accumulated experiences that now brighten my oldest years. Yes, there have been shades and shadows, but I have learned that the dark spots in life add a colorful richness that cannot be denied.
Memories and gratefulness to those most important in my past begin with my parents, who were always encouraging, especially when my pathway was different from their expectations. Six siblings added intimate interactions with their unique approaches to life. My brother Bill, five years younger than I, read each chapter and commented frankly about the readability of my writing.
In clinical work, patients enriched my knowledge of attitudes toward and perspectives of acts and emotions used while adjusting to their life’s world. While writing, good friends were patient with my withdrawal from social events and cheered me to continue.
A special, warm, and heartfelt thanks for the editing and critical reading that Marilyn Fitzpatrick provided for each chapter. She offered professional insights throughout these three years of writing, even though she too were confronting the complexities of aging. Another friend, Murray Laurie, professional par excellence, urged me to finish the book even after she had struggled with and edited an incomplete draft. So here it is, dear reader. It is my wish that it can clarify some of your complexities while aging.
Chapter On e An Introduction to Growing Older-Old: After Seventy
The waves of life tossed us back and forth as we wended our way through the insecurities of youth. During our middle ages, the waters became more rhythmic, rocking us back and forth as life came in waves of events that were gentler, even predictable. As the waves now approach the shore of life, they slow in a soft, easy motion. The waves gently roll over the sands, eventually becoming still. Ahh, one says, the ideal is to come to the shore of life with calm and peacefulness. But waves hit a rocky shore and, in their weakened energy, bounce a bit before their waters ease. And such is life.
We have been through the period of worrying about the wrinkles on our faces that started twenty years (at least) ago. They are now a part of our daily appearance. We may still fuss about our hair yet no longer sit for hours to disguise its gray. Men quietly watch the graying of their beard and hair and, as each hair falls, carefully comb over the emerging bald spot. Our bodies that have carried us through the years have become weakened, perhaps bent; walking is a chore for at least 75 percent of us—with or without walkers or canes. Our walk is slower, our gait and steps smaller, our arms shorter, our feet a bit longer. Our vision is not quite as sharp, and our hearing has lost acuity. These continuing changes bring a bit of emotional pain, a quiet protest to the alterations of our being, and then a rueful smile for life is here.
Permit me to introduce myself. I am, by past profession, a psychologist. I am ninety-four years old, and I live in an independent living community. Six years ago, I sold my home in one State and then re-established myself in another. About twenty years ago, I became widowed following my husband’s death. Fortunate to enjoy good health despite a serious bout with cancer, I hope to let the ripples of the waters move me gently toward this final journey of life.
I have always enjoyed writing, although mostly professional reports, and my urge to write remains strong. The topics I know best are the emotional challenges of life as they trouble or soothe the pathway. I am especially concerned with the emotional challenges that come to us through this later time of life—often unexpectedly. Emotional challenges still arouse strong feelings, but I have noted that reactions now seem more in balance with the severity of a situation, more modified to bring resolution, and more easily accepted simply as “a part of life.” These challenges, some anticipated, others not expected, are what I wish to address in this book.
My concern is about the lives of relatively few people, those older-old persons born before 1950. This book deals with living long, representing those who have enjoyed good health, good medical care, and good nutrition, with some genetic help from their forebearers. For those born about 1930, the average length of life was sixty years; in other words, one-half of those born in 1930 had died by 1990. By 1950, life expectancy was about sixty-eight years; and for those born in 2010, the average person could expect to live about seventy-eight years. During those years between 1950 and 2010, people could expect to live almost twenty years longer than their parents. For those born about 1920, 37 percent were still alive at the age of seventy-five in 2013; for those aged eighty-five, 10 percent were living, and for those aged ninety-five, less than 8 percent were living.
There are indications that the average years of life may decrease in the next years because of the prevalence of chronic i