Redneck Rhymes and Other Poetic Thoughts , livre ebook

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64 pages

English

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The material which served as the basis for the rhymes in this book came from real-life experiences and observations in an environment which well-represents the stereotype of those we often refer to as rednecks. Their behaviors, interests, beliefs, and accomplishments are not always seen by the general population as typical, but for them, their beliefs and actions are quite reasonable and completely understood and respected by their peers, as it is their way of life.

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Poetry

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Publié par	Austin Macauley Publishers
Date de parution	30 novembre 2020
Nombre de lectures	0
EAN13	9781645755371
Langue	English
Poids de l'ouvrage	2 Mo

Informations légales : prix de location à la page 0,0175€. Cette information est donnée uniquement à titre indicatif conformément à la législation en vigueur.

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Redneck Rhymes and Other Poetic Thoughts
Jack B. Rollins
Austin Macauley Publishers
2020-11-30
Redneck Rhymes and Other Poetic Thoughts About the Author Copyright Information © Acknowledgement Identification Different Weddings Teeth Camping Speed Hounds Girlfriend Autos Home Home (Continued…) Hunters Drawl Closet Swamps Proud Excitement Repairs Reunion Smokin’ Boats Haberdashery ’Shine Gourmet Hoosgow Wealthy Draggy Sporty Calculations Options Revenge Maturation Versatility English Metamorphosis Politics Relief Relief (Continued…) Grit Heroes Heroes (Continued…) Sickly Geriatrics Geriatrics (Continued…) Happy Changes Wormy Transfiguration Naggy Birdy Timely Richy Mental Observation Feet-ish Sustenance Mysteries
About the Author
Jack B. Rollins has a Ph.D. in psychology and extensive experience in the academic world. He was raised in the Deep South in a rural environment where his life experiences and observations gave him a good perspective on a way of life unfamiliar to many.
Copyright Information ©
Jack B. Rollins (2020)
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the publisher.
Any person who commits any unauthorized act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.
Austin Macauley is committed to publishing works of quality and integrity. In this spirit, we are proud to offer this book to our readers; however, the story, the experiences, and the words are the author’s alone.
Ordering Information:
Quantity sales: special discounts are available on quantity purchases by corporations, associations, and others. For details, contact the publisher at the address below.
Publisher’s Cataloging-in-Publication data
Rollins, Jack B.
Redneck Rhymes and Other Poetic Thoughts
ISBN 9781645755357 (Paperback)
ISBN 9781645755364 (Hardback)
ISBN 9781645755371 (ePub e-book)
Library of Congress Control Number: 2020917926
www.austinmacauley.com/us
First Published (2020)
Austin Macauley Publishers LLC
40 Wall Street, 28th Floor
New York, NY 10005
USA
mail-usa@austinmacauley.com
+1 (646) 5125767
Acknowledgement
I’d like to express my deep appreciation to my good friend, Nancy Sackman, whose initiative and diligence led to the publication of this book. Without her hard work and persistence, it would never have been published.
Identification
Just how do you know, when a redneck’s around?
They’re almost everywhere, and easily found.
They’re really not hard, to identify,
on the following clues, you can always rely.
A big four wheeler, that’s jacked up a lot,
is the type of truck, most rednecks have got.
Big off-road tires, and a hitch in the back,
and usually they have, an inside gun rack.
Most drop out of school, at about the eighth grade,
their leavin’ was due, to the grades that they made.
But endin’ their schoolin’, wasn’t bad back then,
they could spell a few words, and count up to ten.
And sometimes their teeth, don’t look just right,
both of them look, more brown than white.
You won’t find a redneck, at a country club dance,
a museum or a lecture, nary a chance.
And a redneck won’t go, to an opera or play,
for them that would be, a waste of a day.
The kind of event, where they spend their bucks,
is a big tractor pull, or some big wheel trucks.
But the next time you visit, a WalMart store,
just look down the aisles, you’ll see them galore.
But to really find rednecks, the best place by far,
is at the car races, dirt track or Nascar.
Different
Growin’ up in the country, I happened to see,
that many other folks, ain’t just like me.
It’s very apparent, in our human race,
that folks ain’t too even, a fact we must face.
People are different, we can see right away,
as different as night time, is from the day.
Some people have bellies, as flat as can be,
it’s cut and it’s lean, with no fat to see.
But mine hangs over, my belt like a sack,
and when I bend over, you see a large crack.
Some have white teeth, they glisten and shine,
quite a contrast, to my friends’ and mine.
Our teeth are unusual, a sight rarely seen,
a beautiful brown, with a slight tinge of green.
But I’ve got some things, which I think are best,
tattoos on my arm, my legs and my chest.
And my girlfriend’s front’s, as big as can be,
I don’t know the size, but I guess triple D.
Now others are different, it’s easy to see,
it’s hard to be perfect, just like you and me.
Weddings
A big fancy weddin’s, a marvelous affair,
for young ’uns to legally, join up as a pair.
This wedding was like, a big family meet,
all the guests were related, that was real neat.
This bride and groom, were made for each other,
she was marrying the son, of her older brother.
The cutest of couples, that you’ve ever seen,
’cause he’s twenty-nine, she’s almost fifteen.
And durin’ the day, while he works his trade,
she’s learning three Rs, in the school’s seventh grade.
The girls wore long dresses, and perfumes like fruits,
most guys had on jeans, but a few leisure suits.
The bride’s hair had ringlets, just recently set,
and held in position, with a coat of spray net.
The groom’s boots were polished, had a bright shine,
and a crease in his jeans, ironed straight in a line.
A great big reception, and great food was served,
for this gourmet meal, a thanks was deserved.
With possum and chitlins, and deep fried coon,
I knew that my plate, I’d fill up real soon.
I piled my plate high, and put it on my lap,
after eatin’ all that, I could sure use a nap.
For any earthly person, to cook such a meal,
a recipe from heaven, they had to steal.
So nobody choked, and to wash down the food,
and to help folks get into, a partying mood.
A keg of Blue Ribbon, sat iced in the sink,
and some red Solo cups, to use when you drink.
Besides the cold beer, they had some White Lightnin’,
too much of this, the results can be frightenin’.
A blue grass band played, until early morn,
the last song they played, was “Shucking the Corn”.
The newlyweds left, at the very last sound,
it’s honeymoon time, they’re Dollywood bound.
Teeth
I woke up one mornin’, my jaw hurt real bad,
I thought it was caused, by the Busch that I had.
I’d drunk several bottles, the night before,
lucky I ran out, or I would have had more.
I realized later, that the cause of my pain,
was a half rotten tooth, that was hurtin’ again.
So I went to the dentist, later in the day,
and asked him to please, make the pain go away.
He took out a needle, and gave me a shot,
so pulling the tooth, wouldn’t hurt a whole lot.
He put on thick glasses, ’cause he couldn’t see well,
started pulling and yanking, and it hurt like Hell.
With this tooth pulled out, I thought we’d be done,
but the half blind dentist, had pulled the wrong one.
For this bad mistake, I wasn’t too unhappy,
’cause I’ve still got three teeth, one more than my Pappy.
Camping
I wanted a camper, big and fancy but used,
so I bought a newspaper, and the ads I perused.
For the campers I liked, I couldn’t afford to pay,
so I figured I’d have to go, some other way.
Then I went down the street, to the RV store,
made an offer on one, they wanted much more.
So I thought why not, just build myself one?
I know what to do, to get it all done.
Getting things that I need, shouldn’t be hard,
just pick up some parts, at the local junk yard.
I found a tin shed, what a great piece of luck,
and I bolted it down, to the back of my truck.
I put an old mattress, on the floor of the shed,
this made a real comfortable, two person bed.
Inside I built shelves, up high on one side,
I could now put my stuff, up safely inside.
My cooler is one thing, I like to keep near,
I hoped its weight, the new shelves would bear.
I filled it with Busch, and a whole bunch of ice,
I can get to it easy, which is real real nice.
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