La lecture à portée de main
92
pages
English
Ebooks
2020
Écrit par
Barbara Adair
Publié par
Modjaji Books
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92
pages
English
Ebook
2020
Vous pourrez modifier la taille du texte de cet ouvrage
Obtenez un accès à la bibliothèque pour le consulter en ligne En savoir plus
Publié par
Date de parution
27 février 2020
Nombre de lectures
0
EAN13
9781928433095
Langue
English
Poids de l'ouvrage
1 Mo
Publié par
Date de parution
27 février 2020
Nombre de lectures
0
EAN13
9781928433095
Langue
English
Poids de l'ouvrage
1 Mo
First published by Jacana in 2004
This edition published by Modjaji Books in 2020
Cape Town, South Africa
www.modjajibooks.co.za
Barbara Adair
Barbara Adair has asserted her right to be identified as the author of this work.
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, mechanical or electronic, including photocopying or recording, or be stored in any information storage or retrieval system without permission from the publisher.
Edited by Lionel Abrahams
Cover text and artwork by Jesse Breytenbach
Book layout by Andy Thesen
Set in Palatino
ISBN print: 978-1-928433-08-8
ISBN ebook: 978-1-928433-09-5
PREFACE
It is 11 January 1993 and I am sitting in the Caf Hafa in Tangier. The caf is about a ten minute walk from the Forbes museum. It is beautiful. If I strain my eyes I can see the sea, the Straits of Gibraltar. My travelling companions have abandoned me, they are visiting something somewhere else in the city, and they want to move on soon.
It feels strange to be sitting in a caf in Tangier. For years South Africans have been unable to travel to other countries in Africa. Now, for the first time, with the announcement of the release of political prisoners and the unbanning of the African National Congress, we can travel. I welcome political change in my country, I am hopeful. And I am happy to be able to travel to places that I have never been allowed to go to before.
Morocco is filled with hustlers. Hustles of all kinds, they hustle you for sex, they hustle you for drugs; there is nothing that escapes the hustle. Sometimes it intrigues me, a hustler, does he sell his soul? At other times it is an irritation, like a fly buzzing around my head that I have to flick away.
Today a young boy approaches me; he can t be more than fourteen years old. I try to flick him away but he is persistent. His voice is soft. He has a slight American accent; it is not the heavily accented English of most Moroccans. For a moment I wonder where he learned to speak my language. For an instant I listen to him.
Look over there, he says pulling at the sleeve of my jacket, see that old man there, that s Paul Bowles, the famous American writer, see, that s Paul Bowles. I look to where he points. On the other side of the caf at a table on the edge of the shaded terraced garden, in the shadow of the overarching blue sky, sits an old man. He has white hair, an aquiline nose and he is writing in a notebook. He does not look up as I stare at him.
The old man with the white hair continues writing. As I leave he lifts up his head and looks out across the sea.
Barbara Adair
11 January 1993
As flies to wanton boys are we to th gods they kill us for their sport
King Lear (Act IV, Scene I, lines 36 to 37) by William Shakespeare
I
Belquassim leaned forward and took a sip from the glass he held in his right hand. He did not usually drink alcohol, which was prohibited to him. But on this occasion, recalling events that had long passed, he needed to drink from a cup of fierce fiery yellow liquid. He raised the glass, To Paul and Jane, he whispered to himself. Strange he thought. Memories are remembered so that the adventure can be told. The telling of a memory makes the story, the story that is more exotic than the experience. What happened itself is not real, only the story is real. The real adventure. And it can never be repeated. And he had never told this story before.
From further down the bar a woman laughed. The bar was in the Hotel Mirador. In room 35 there was a painting on the wall over the bed. The story was that Matisse had painted it when he was visiting Tangier with Madame Matisse, before he was famous. Belquassim remembered how the hotel employees were always quick to tell anyone who looked like a tourist that Henri Matisse and his wife and, of course, Gertrude and Alice, had stayed in the Hotel Mirador. And, for a small fee, guests could go into the room and look at the painting. For a somewhat larger fee guests could sleep the night under the colours of this revered artist. But really - and Belquassim knew this because he had been into room 35 and Paul had shown him some photographs of the now famous artist s work - the wall just had a few different colours added to it by the painter. A few colours added to the stains of the rust and the damp. Matisse must have been thinking of other things as he splashed his paint across the wall above the bed. Who could tell now? Belquassim wondered if the colours were still there, or if they had been painted over by the new hotel proprietor, who did not know of Matisse, and was unaware of how the history of art had pervaded the walls of the Hotel Mirador. Belquassim wondered if the proprietor had painted the wall a bright white to show how clean it was.
Paul had taught him everything about Matisse and the Parisian painters, he reflected. What had he said? They tried to express their unconscious desires on canvas. The unconscious is like a Cubist painting. It has no discernible pattern. Straight lines, but they are not linear. Paul also said, And Gertrude She loved collecting the new Paris art. She accumulated sentences and she made art. What had Paul meant by this? How could she collect sentences? Sentences could not be held in a hand, touched, caressed. But he remembered Paul saying that he caressed sentences. Belquassim would watch him when he held a pen. What did he mean? Belquassim remembered Paul s pale white beautiful face and his cold blue eyes, and his voice, soft and gentle and menacing. Everything that he knew had come from Paul: the world, music, poetry, philosophy and love.
Behind the bar were rows of bottles on shelves. Behind the bottles was a painted picture. Blue-headed Touaregs on camels racing through the desert. A tourist picture. A picture those tourists drew of Morocco. Fierce-faced camel riders dressed in blue. The bar was dark. The bottles on the shelves and the stained picture behind them were lit up by a single bare globe. The picture could barely be seen, just as no Touaregs could be seen in Tangier. It was as if it was night. But if Belquassim turned on his stool and looked across the shadowy room he could see the beach. Bright hard sunlight flickered over the long palm fronds that persistently blurred his view. He could see Madame Porte s famous salon de th , it was at the edge of the beach, its red awnings moving in the breeze that blew in from the blue sea. The windows of the salon were closed, Madame Porte was no longer there. He wondered where she was. A seagull stood on the narrow wall that separated the salon from the beach. Its yellow feet clutched the wall, but it could not find a grip, these feet were not made for hard brickwork, they were webbed, meant for water, not walls. It swooped down into the waveless sea and then emerged again. Belquassim could see the shape of a fish in its beak. The curved sharp end plunged into the flesh of the fish. The fish was dead but Belquassim thought he could feel its pain. He could feel that beak slash through his flesh, damaging him, tearing him apart.
Belquassim remembered the long hours in this bar. He remembered the tea in the salon. In these two places he would sit for hours listening to the chatter of the expatriates, the writers and the philosophers. He had learned a lot; a lot about despair and love and hatred, the wars in Europe, the quality of the hashish and opium that could be found in the city. Nothing had changed but the faces, and Madame Porte was gone now. Belquassim walked over to the window of the bar, it was smudged by the salty spray of the sea. He peered out and looked carefully across the water. On a fine day he knew that he could see the coast of Spain. He had never been to Spain. But he knew about the Spanish writer Cervantes. Paul had read extracts from this thick book to him in the evenings as they sat on the veranda of the house. The faithful and foolish Sancho Panza, who loved his master more than he loved himself. Don Quixote, the knight errant, the adventurer. The giants who were windmills. The dream of Dulcinea. Belquassim had never been outside Morocco, although sometimes he believed that he had travelled the world. Travelled through the stories told to him by Paul. Morocco was the world for him then, as it was now. A different world now, but the world anyway. He narrowed his eyes and looked out of the window again. If he looked hard enough maybe he would see Jane s grave in Malaga. A grave without a headstone and without an inscription.
Belquassim walked back to the bar and sat down. He leaned backwards on the barstool. A grave and this tacky bar, he thought. But - he bent his head towards the glass that he drank from - it is not like the bar of the old days in Tangier. The days when Tangier was still part of the International Zone. The old bars smelled of musk and opium, they had the odour of opulence, they reeked of the expatriates. If you sat in a bar for just five minutes you could hear a million languages, dream languages from far away; America. Now the space of the half-day seemed to reverberate with the loneliness that he felt inside him. It reverberated with the woman s laugh. The faded sepia photographs lined through with smoke on the walls were all that was left of that world. The woman smiled at him. White teeth stained with nicotine and red lipstick. For a moment he thought she seemed interested in him, but then she turned to her companion and laughed again. Her purple shirt stuck to her flat chest. The sweat of the city whitened her body. She reminded him of Jane, half-drunk, half-lovely. He wondered what he would do if she came over to him. He could not touch her as he had touched Jane. He could not brush her hair. It would not