Memoirs of Mr. Charles J. Yellowplush , livre ebook

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pubOne.info present you this new edition. I was born in the year one, of the present or Christian hera, and am, in consquints, seven-and-thirty years old. My mamma called me Charles James Harrington Fitzroy Yellowplush, in compliment to several noble families, and to a sellybrated coachmin whom she knew, who wore a yellow livry, and drove the Lord Mayor of London.

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Publié par	Pub One Info
Date de parution	06 novembre 2010
Nombre de lectures	2
EAN13	9782819943358
Langue	English

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MEMOIRS OF MR. CHARLES J. YELLOWPLUSH
By William Makepeace Thackeray
MEMOIRS OF MR. CHARLES J. YELLOWPLUSH
MISS SHUM'S HUSBAND.
CHAPTER I.
I was born in the year one, of the present orChristian hera, and am, in consquints, seven-and-thirty years old.My mamma called me Charles James Harrington Fitzroy Yellowplush, incompliment to several noble families, and to a sellybrated coachminwhom she knew, who wore a yellow livry, and drove the Lord Mayor ofLondon.
Why she gev me this genlmn's name is a diffiklty, orrayther the name of a part of his dress; however, it's stuck to methrough life, in which I was, as it were, a footman by buth.
Praps he was my father— though on this subjict Ican't speak suttinly, for my ma wrapped up my buth in a mistry. Imay be illygitmit, I may have been changed at nuss; but I've alwayshad genlmnly tastes through life, and have no doubt that I come ofa genlmnly origum.
The less I say about my parint the better, for thedear old creatur was very good to me, and, I fear, had very littleother goodness in her. Why, I can't say; but I always passed as hernevyou. We led a strange life; sometimes ma was dressed in sattnand rooge, and sometimes in rags and dutt; sometimes I got kisses,and sometimes kix; sometimes gin, and sometimes shampang; law blessus! how she used to swear at me, and cuddle me; there we were,quarrelling and making up, sober and tipsy, starving and guttlingby turns, just as ma got money or spent it. But let me draw a vailover the seen, and speak of her no more— its 'sfishant for thepublic to know, that her name was Miss Montmorency, and we lived inthe New Cut.
My poor mother died one morning, Hev'n bless her!and I was left alone in this wide wicked wuld, without so muchmoney as would buy me a penny roal for my brexfast. But there wassome amongst our naybors (and let me tell you there's more kindnessamong them poor disrepettable creaturs, than in half a dozen lordsor barrynets) who took pity upon poor Sal's orfin (for they bustout laffin when I called her Miss Montmorency), and gev me bred andshelter. I'm afraid, in spite of their kindness, that my MORRILSwouldn't have improved if I'd stayed long among 'em. But abenny-violent genlmn saw me, and put me to school. The academywhich I went to was called the Free School of Saint Bartholomew'sthe Less— the young genlmn wore green baize coats, yellow leatherwhatsisnames, a tin plate on the left arm, and a cap about the sizeof a muffing. I stayed there sicks years; from sicks, that is tosay, till my twelth year, during three years of witch Idistinguished myself not a little in the musicle way, for I bloothe bellus of the church horgin, and very fine tunes we playedtoo.
Well, it's not worth recounting my jewvenile follies(what trix we used to play the applewoman! and how we put snuff inthe old clark's Prayer-book— my eye! ); but one day, a genlmnentered the school-room— it was on the very day when I went tosubtraxion— and asked the master for a young lad for a servant.They pitched upon me glad enough; and nex day found me sleeping inthe sculry, close under the sink, at Mr. Bago's country-house atPentonwille.
Bago kep a shop in Smithfield market, and drov ataring good trade in the hoil and Italian way. I've heard him say,that he cleared no less than fifty pounds every year by letting hisfront room at hanging time. His winders looked right opsit Newgit,and many and many dozen chaps has he seen hanging there. Laws waslaws in the year ten, and they screwed chaps' nex for nex tonothink. But my bisniss was at his country-house, where I made myfirst ontray into fashnabl life. I was knife, errint, andstable-boy then, and an't ashamed to own it; for my merrits haveraised me to what I am— two livries, forty pound a year,malt-licker, washin, silk-stocking, and wax candles— not countinwails, which is somethink pretty considerable at OUR house, I cantell you.
I didn't stay long here, for a suckmstance happenedwhich got me a very different situation. A handsome young genlmn,who kep a tilbry and a ridin horse at livry, wanted a tiger. I bidat once for the place; and, being a neat tidy-looking lad, he tookme. Bago gave me a character, and he my first livry; proud enough Iwas of it, as you may fancy.
My new master had some business in the city, for hewent in every morning at ten, got out of his tilbry at the CittyRoad, and had it waiting for him at six; when, if it was summer, hespanked round into the Park, and drove one of the neatest turnoutsthere. Wery proud I was in a gold-laced hat, a drab coat and a redweskit, to sit by his side, when he drove. I already began to oglethe gals in the carridges, and to feel that longing for fashionabllife which I've had ever since. When he was at the oppera, or theplay, down I went to skittles, or to White Condick Gardens; and Mr.Frederic Altamont's young man was somebody, I warrant: to be surethere is very few man-servants at Pentonwille, the poppylationbeing mostly gals of all work; and so, though only fourteen, I wasas much a man down there, as if I had been as old as Jerusalem.
But the most singular thing was, that my master, whowas such a gay chap, should live in such a hole. He had only aground-floor in John Street— a parlor and a bedroom. I slep overthe way, and only came in with his boots and brexfast of amorning.
The house he lodged in belonged to Mr. and Mrs.Shum. They were a poor but proliffic couple, who had rented theplace for many years; and they and their family were squeezed in itpretty tight, I can tell you.
Shum said he had been a hofficer, and so he had. Hehad been a sub-deputy assistant vice-commissary, or some suchthink; and, as I heerd afterwards, had been obliged to leave onaccount of his NERVOUSNESS. He was such a coward, the fact is, thathe was considered dangerous to the harmy, and sent home.
He had married a widow Buckmaster, who had been aMiss Slamcoe. She was a Bristol gal; and her father being a bankrupin the tallow-chandlering way, left, in course, a pretty little sumof money. A thousand pound was settled on her; and she was as highand mighty as if it had been a millium.
Buckmaster died, leaving nothink; nothink exceptfour ugly daughters by Miss Slamcoe: and her forty pound a year wasrayther a narrow income for one of her appytite and pretensions. Inan unlucky hour for Shum she met him. He was a widower with alittle daughter of three years old, a little house at Pentonwille,and a little income about as big as her own. I believe she bullydthe poor creature into marridge; and it was agreed that he shouldlet his ground-floor at John Street, and so add somethink to theirmeans.
They married; and the widow Buckmaster was the graymare, I can tell you. She was always talking and blustering abouther famly, the celebrity of the Buckmasters, and the antickety ofthe Slamcoes. They had a six-roomed house (not counting kitchingand sculry), and now twelve daughters in all; whizz. — 4 MissBuckmasters: Miss Betsy, Miss Dosy, Miss Biddy, and Miss Winny; 1Miss Shum, Mary by name, Shum's daughter, and seven others, whoshall be nameless. Mrs. Shum was a fat, red-haired woman, at leasta foot taller than S. ; who was but a yard and a half high,pale-faced, red-nosed, knock-kneed, bald-headed, his nose andshut-frill all brown with snuff.
Before the house was a little garden, where thewashin of the famly was all ways hanging. There was so many of 'emthat it was obliged to be done by relays. There was six rails and astocking on each, and four small goosbry bushes, always coveredwith some bit of linning or other. The hall was a regular puddle:wet dabs of dishclouts flapped in your face; soapy smoking bits offlanning went nigh to choke you; and while you were looking up toprevent hanging yourself with the ropes which were strung acrossand about, slap came the hedge of a pail against your shins, tillone was like to be drove mad with hagony. The great slattnlydoddling girls was always on the stairs, poking about with nastyflower-pots, a-cooking something, or sprawling in the window-seatswith greasy curl-papers, reading greasy novels. An infernal piannawas jingling from morning till night— two eldest Miss Buckmasters,“Battle of Prag”— six youngest Miss Shums, “In my Cottage, ” till Iknew every note in the “Battle of Prag, ” and cussed the day when“In my Cottage” was rote. The younger girls, too, were alwaysbouncing and thumping about the house, with torn pinnyfores, anddogs-eard grammars, and large pieces of bread and treacle. I neversee such a house.
As for Mrs. Shum, she was such a fine lady, that shedid nothink but lay on the drawing-room sophy, read novels, drink,scold, scream, and go into hystarrix. Little Shum kep reading anold newspaper from weeks' end to weeks' end, when he was notengaged in teaching the children, or goin for the beer, or cleaninthe shoes: for they kep no servant. This house in John Street wasin short a regular Pandymony.
What could have brought Mr. Frederic Altamont todwell in such a place? The reason is hobvius: he adoared the fustMiss Shum.
And suttnly he did not show a bad taste; for thoughthe other daughters were as ugly as their hideous ma, Mary Shum wasa pretty little pink, modest creatur, with glossy black hair andtender blue eyes, and a neck as white as plaster of Parish. Shewore a dismal old black gownd, which had grown too short for her,and too tight; but it only served to show her pretty angles andfeet, and bewchus figger. Master, though he had looked rather lowfor the gal of his art, had certainly looked in the right place.Never was one more pretty or more hamiable. I gav her always thebuttered toast left from our brexfust, and a cup of tea orchocklate, as Altamont might fancy: and the poor thing was gladenough of it, I can vouch; for they had precious short commons upstairs, and she the least of all.
For it seemed as if which of the Shum famly shouldtry to snub the poor thing most. There was the four Buckmastergirls always at her. It was,