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African Perspectives Publishing - Tihalefo Molatlhegi

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164 pages

English

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Description

This is for the girls who have yet to forgive themselves. Girls with skin darker than dark. Girls with too much fat where the ideology of beauty lies. Girls who, because they have stomachs that fold like envelopes and dimples on their thighs that jiggle like dessert on Christmas Day, would never make it in beauty pageants or onto the cover of a magazine. This … is for the girls who have yet to forgive themselves. Girls who have loved other girls with about as much ferocity in their hearts as it would take to start a war. Girls who have heard the words “big” and “thick madam” more times than you hear about skinny bitches on rap songs. Girls who have witnessed too much judgement on the faces of men because they are too much to handle — literally.

Sujets

Young Adult Fiction

Informations

Publié par	African Perspectives Publishing
Date de parution	29 août 2023
Nombre de lectures	2
EAN13	9781990931314
Langue	English

Informations légales : prix de location à la page 0,2700€. Cette information est donnée uniquement à titre indicatif conformément à la législation en vigueur.

Extrait

FOR BLACK GIRLS who have yet to forgive themselves TLHALEFO TEFO MOLATLHEGI

African Perspectives Publishing PO Box 95342, Grant Park 2051, Johannesburg, South Africa ǤǤǤ

2023All rights reserved

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying or otherwise, without the prior permission of the author and her publisher.

ISBN PRINT:978-1-990931-25-3 ISBN DIGITAL:978-1-990931-31-4

Cover Image:Studio Studio Editor:A Read Black Girl Proof Reader:Rose Francis Typesetting:Phumzile Mondlani

Contents

DEDICATION ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 5 PROLOGUE -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 7 1. HAIR, HAIR, GLORY ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 9 2. THERAPY FOR BLACK GIRLS --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 21 3. I SHOULD BE BLACK, BUT I AM WHITE ------------------------------------------------------------------- 31 4. NOBODY WANTS THE BLACK GIRL STRUGGLE ------------------------------------------------------- 39 5. EXCUSE ME, MISS ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 47 6. HOW COME BLACK WOMEN ARE CONDITIONED FOR MARRIAGE? ---------------------- 55 7. INHERITED FAMILY TRAUMAS, COFFEE AND POETRY --------------------------------------------- 61 8. DON'T GO ASKING AROUND ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 67 9. I LOVE YOU'S SOMETIMES COME IN THREES ---------------------------------------------------------- 73 10. DON'T FORGET THE SPF WHEN LIFE COMES FOR YOUR CHILD ------------------------------ 79 11. WEAR YOUR ANGER LIKE A TEMPORARY SKIN ---------------------------------------------------- 85 12. WHO TEACHES HER HOW TO BE A WOMAN? ----------------------------------------------------- 91 13. THERE ARE NO EASY WINS IN THE COURT OF LOVE --------------------------------------------- 99 14. GOD, I LIKE THIS ONE --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 107

15. RIGHT DECISIONS DON'T ALWAYS COME FROM THE BEST INTENTIONS ---------------- 113 16. PRIDE… THE BURDEN OF A FOOLISH MAN --------------------------------------------------------- 119 17. AND WHEN YOU FALL, FALL HARD -------------------------------------------------------------------- 127

18. EVEN YOUR FAVORITES DON'T MAKE IT TO THE END ------------------------------------------- 133

19. MOTHERS AND DAUGHTERS ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 139

20. HAVING NOT YET LEARNED TO LET GO OF OLD LOVERS ------------------------------------ 147 21. BLACK GIRLS EVERYWHERE WILL KNOW HOW TO FORGIVE THEMSELVES ------------ 155

Dedication

This book, after years and years of creating, is dedicated to my mother,Mosadiwapula Peggy Molatlhegi, because she embodies blackness, womanhood and forgiveness. My not-so-little sister,Mokgabo Galeangwe Tlou. For always reminding me how to love, and how to forgive myself and others. My niece, Oteng Boago-Jwa-Modimo Molatlhegi, because one day, you too, will need to forgive yourself. ToMaselelo Olivia Molatlhegi. Thank you for your unconditional love.

Last, but not least, my grandmother,Morati Girley Molatlhegi, who is my ancestor and spiritual warrior. Youremain a hero in my dreams.

Prologue

This… is for the girls who haveyet to forgive themselves. Girls who have loved other girls with about as much ferocity in their hearts as it would take to start a war. Girls who have heard the words “big” and “thick madam” more times than you hear about skinny bitches on rap songs. Girls who have witnessed too much judgement on the faces of men because they are too much to handle - literally.

This is for the girls who have mastered the art of deception, and the “I’m sorry” because they are too afraid to stand out and be themselves. For girls who have silenced their voices in the hopes of averting even more attention; and for girls who walk around with faces that say: How I wish a scoundrel would say something. Girls who are eloquent in the language of pain, and have cried themselves to sleep more times than it takes you to hit the “like” button.

This is for girls who may fall short but deserve love nonetheless - worthy of finding comfort in the sturdy arms of men with voices that roar. Girls so tall they could hear God sigh in heaven. This is for the girls who haveyet to forgive themselves.

So, you loved a man with such a roving eye that he could never really appreciate the beauty that is you. You wanted him, and you had him, but thenyou woke up and found that he had snuck out the night before - with your heart in a disposable bag, ready to throw to the dogs. The selfish bastard! You need to forgive yourself.

So, after you believed when they said that “fat girls cannot be loved”, you stuck your finger down your throat and starved yourself till it could not carry the weight of all the men that had left you naked and alone. You beat down your body and named every stretch mark on your thighs, under your belly and in-between the places where light never shines… and you grew angry. You need to forgive yourself. So, you asked God for a man’s heart, but you know that God doesn’t work like that. You stole his heart instead, asked God for forgiveness, and then went ahead and broke it. You need to forgive yourself, because this is for you - for girls who haveyetto forgive themselves. Tlhalefo

CHAPTER 1

Hair, hair, glory

There’s a skill to doing black hair. From the hot combs to the perm, to gently and steadily sowing the weave to not drive the needle into someone’s brain, washing hair so well that what was once a proud afro is now a sleek and manageable ponytail, and applying that award-winning relaxer just long enough to do the job and not burn the scalp. Every hairstylist knows that hell hath no fury like a client with a burnt scalp.

The same applies to braiding. From an effortless twist to very heavy box braids, straight backs, and straight ups so tight that they stretch your eyes to half their size - rendering you strikingly beautiful but finding it nearly impossible to sleep for the first few days without cussing the hairdresser because you are unable to turn your head at will.

The skill is that some stylists care enough not to pull your hair back so far it looks as if you had your head resized; while some don’t care as much. So negligent that a month later you are walking around with a receding hairline, picking tufts of your hair from the floor every time you have to comb your tresses.

If you don’t want to end up looking like Suzy-with-the-bald-patches, the skill is to keep your hair moisturized at all times and come back to have it washed because you were advised that this would keep it healthy and avoid split ends. Personally, I have never understood the excitement of split ends. I believe the term was coined to make hairless women feel better about themselves.