Summary of Tina Gilbertson's Reconnecting with Your Estranged Adult Child , livre ebook

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36 pages

English

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Please note: This is a companion version & not the original book.
Sample Book Insights:
#1 Estrangement is the condition of being physically and/or emotionally distant from one or more family members, either by choice or at the request or decision of the other. It can be roughly divided into three types: total cutoff, emotional estrangement, and on-and-off estrangement.
#2 Estrangement can be temporary, and it’s up to you and your child to make sure it isn’t lifelong. It’s becoming easier to reconnect with family every decade, which means it’s becoming harder to disappear.
#3 Estrangement doesn’t always mean total cutoff. Some parents feel estranged from their adult children even with regular social contact. The problem is that they begin to feel like strangers or intruders to their kids, rather than close and comfortable as they once were.
#4 Estrangement between parents and their adult children can be caused by a variety of factors, including pressure from social networks and the culture at large, personal ambivalence, and a desire for connection with family.

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Parenting

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Publié par	Everest Media LLC
Date de parution	05 avril 2022
Nombre de lectures	0
EAN13	9781669377757
Langue	English
Poids de l'ouvrage	1 Mo

Informations légales : prix de location à la page 0,0150€. Cette information est donnée uniquement à titre indicatif conformément à la législation en vigueur.

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Insights on Tina Gilbertson's Reconnecting with Your Estranged Adult Child
Contents Insights from Chapter 1 Insights from Chapter 2 Insights from Chapter 3 Insights from Chapter 4 Insights from Chapter 5 Insights from Chapter 6 Insights from Chapter 7 Insights from Chapter 8 Insights from Chapter 9 Insights from Chapter 10 Insights from Chapter 11 Insights from Chapter 12
Insights from Chapter 1

#1

Estrangement is the condition of being physically and/or emotionally distant from one or more family members, either by choice or at the request or decision of the other. It can be roughly divided into three types: total cutoff, emotional estrangement, and on-and-off estrangement.

#2

Estrangement can be temporary, and it’s up to you and your child to make sure it isn’t lifelong. It’s becoming easier to reconnect with family every decade, which means it’s becoming harder to disappear.

#3

Estrangement doesn’t always mean total cutoff. Some parents feel estranged from their adult children even with regular social contact. The problem is that they begin to feel like strangers or intruders to their kids, rather than close and comfortable as they once were.

#4

Estrangement between parents and their adult children can be caused by a variety of factors, including pressure from social networks and the culture at large, personal ambivalence, and a desire for connection with family.

#5

Estrangement is when someone isn’t talking to you because of a negative relationship, or when communication between you is so difficult or distressing that it’s minimized.

#6

Estrangement between parents and adult children is common, and might even be on the rise as family networks shrink and geographical distance grows. Because of the stigma still associated with this type of estrangement, people are often uncomfortable talking about it.

#7

Estrangement from parents is more common among marginalized communities, such as the LGBTQ community. It’s easy to understand why that is; some parents are devastated by their child’s nonconformity.

#8

The factors that lead to estrangement are often external circumstances such as divorce or third-party interference. Adult children are more likely to blame personal, negative characteristics of their parents for the estrangement.

#9

Estranged parents’ emotional vulnerability can make it difficult for them to mend the rift with their children. They don’t understand what their children are upset about, and it can be difficult for them to listen well when they feel like they’re under attack.

#10

The full story of how things came to be this way between you and your child usually begins years earlier. If you’re willing to dig for them, some of the roots of today’s troubles with your child are there to be found.

#11

When you’re hurt, your brain naturally tends to adopt an us-versus-them mentality. When your child believes something that, from your point of view, just isn’t true, you may feel like estrangement is a case of both parents being right. But that doesn’t matter.

#12

There are many rules of thumb for parents who are estranged from their adult children. Don’t place blame, take responsibility, balance activity with passivity, concentrate on the process rather than the outcome, and don’t stop living.

#13

There are four main contributors to parent–adult child estrangement: family history, communication problems, unmet needs in the parent, and normal human development. Only three of these involve negative feelings.
Insights from Chapter 2

#1

Estrangement is a common occurrence in families, and it can be difficult to change. It may be the default way of handling conflict, passed down from one generation to the next like a not-so-tasty meatloaf recipe.

#2

If you were the victim of parental alienation, you may have no choice but to go along with the shunning. But don’t give up on your children, even if the odds of contact or connection seem slim.

#3

It can be extremely difficult to deal with your adult children who have been alienated from you. You can try to maintain a relationship with them, but don’t expect or demand anything from them.

#4

The family therapist Ivan Boszormenyi-Nagy described a cycle of resentment that can perpetuate itself through successive generations, based on a pay-it-forward rule. We are all influenced by our families’ unconscious problematic intra- and interpersonal relationships.

#5

The way your parents responded to your needs as a child influenced your attachment style, which is typically either secure or insecure. If your parents responded to your needs with frustration or anger, instead of sympathy and attentiveness, that was a mismatch.

#6

An avoidant attachment style is associated with dismissive behavior toward loved ones, and the distancer in the pursuer-distancer relationship often has this style. Avoidant parents with estranged adult children are no less pierced by the poisoned arrow of rejection than their anxious counterparts.

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