More Porn - Faster! , livre ebook

Andrews UK - Sue Denim

Découvre YouScribe en t'inscrivant gratuitement

Je m'inscris

Obtenez un accès à la bibliothèque pour le consulter en ligne
En savoir plus

44 pages

English

Vous pourrez modifier la taille du texte de cet ouvrage

Obtenez un accès à la bibliothèque pour le consulter en ligne
En savoir plus

A propos
Informations
Extrait

Description

This book is about finding porn on the Internet. It teaches you to find more porn. And how to find it quicker. Giving you more time to, er, well... you know!

Informations

Publié par	Andrews UK
Date de parution	15 novembre 2011
Nombre de lectures	26
EAN13	9781849897808
Langue	English

Informations légales : prix de location à la page 0,0100€. Cette information est donnée uniquement à titre indicatif conformément à la législation en vigueur.

Extrait

Title Page

MORE PORN – FASTER!
50 Tips & Tools for Faster and More Efficient Porn Browsing

By
Sue Denim

Publisher Information

More Porn – Faster! published in 2011 by
Andrews UK Limited
www.andrewsuk.com

This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, resold, hired out or otherwise circulated without the publisher’s prior written consent in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published, and without a similar condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.

The characters and situations in this book are entirely imaginary and bear no relation to any real person or actual happening.

Copyright 2011 © Sue Denim

The right of Sue Denim to be identified as author of this book has been asserted in accordance with section 77 and 78 of the Copyrights Designs and Patents Act 1988.

Introduction

This bo ok is about finding porn. Lots of porn. In fact, there is such a thing as “too much porn”, and this book will help you attain it. But unlike other porn books, this should not be discarded besides the railway line once you have finished with it. (Unless you want to buy another ebook reader, that is!) Instead, it should be hidden at the back of the virtual cupboard, waiting for that special time when you’re drunk, randy, and eager for a little furtive self-manipulation.

As many books of this nature will boldly state; this is for educational purposes only. And what better subject to be educated in? Therefore, these instructions, suggestions, tips and hints, are only for downloading legal porn as governed by the rules of the web sites that provide it, and the country in which you live. So that’s both legal disclaimers covered.

Finally, I’d like to thank my, er, friends, for telling me about all these tips and giving so many fine suggestions. Unlike every other book, I’m going to treat them to a special favour by not mentioning them in the acknowledgments. But they know who they are!

Finding Porn

This first section covers the various methods by which you can find porn on the Internet. After all, there is a lot of it out there. As with many things in life, finding and understanding the information isn’t difficult, knowing where to take that first step is. This section covers that first step.

Tip 1. Search outside the general store

While Google is very good at finding a lot of useful information, images, and (let’s face it!) porn, it can never compete with a specialist. A general store may have one or two zip fasteners, whereas a haberdashery would have 50 or more. So, when looking for porn you should use a specialized search engine intended for just that purpose.

And yes – there are search engines for porn!

You can find them by casually surfing porn blogs (that in turn may be linked from popular sites like http://technorati.com ), or noting the ones listed below.

http://www.searchgalleries.com
http://www.askjolene.com
http://www.booble.com
http://www.yellow500.com
http://www.boysfood.com

There are also specialized search engines, within the specialized category of porn, such as http://www.searchbigtits.com

Because they have a more restrictive set of results than the generalized search engines, you will be invariably presented with a different interface. In the case of searchgalleries.com , for example, instead of typing in the terms with the keyboard you can click on the pre-determined words on the main screen. These words cover all the obvious (and not so obvious) sexual requests and so guide you to an image gallery, or movie clip, much quicker than Google. And because you don’t need to type anything, you can engage in your first bout of one-handed porn browsing!

Tip 2 . Unsafe Google image search

It shouldn’t have escaped your notice, but the Google image search has a “Safe Search” option, which limits the results you can get back. The specific details of how Google determines “safe” and “unsafe” is, like most of Google’s secrets, shrouded in mystery. They probably have very detailed lists of which sites contains porn, and therefore have the potential to be the biggest smut peddlers on the planet. Or, they hire students for the hard job of monitoring every image to categorize them. But I digress…

The safe search option, however, is not a secret. It can be switched off very easily by selecting ‘Preferences’ from the main Image Search page, to the right of the text entry box (no pun intended). About half way down the page there is an option, “Do not filter my results.” Select this, and then use the “Save preferences” at the bottom of the page. You will then be presented with a message box, and (upon clicking ‘OK’) Google will repeat your last image search without the safe search algorithm.

There are some sites, such as http://dearcomputer.nl/gir , which have utilized the power of Google to create their own custom search engines. This particular one will search for images, of a particular size, and collate all of Google’s image search results onto a single page. This saves you from having to actually click on the thumbnails and shows you the whole image at a sensible size so you can scroll through them all by using your middle finger and mouse wheel. On this site, the unsafe search option is represented by the NSFW (Not Safe For Work) button.

If you have enabled cookies for the google.com domain, all future image searches will be unsafe. You now need some suitable terms for which to search…

Tip 3 . The best search term - Ev er

Performing an image search is easy if you’re looking for a picture of New York, or a Thomas the Tank Engine birthday cake, because the people that create those pages have lovingly created the web site using sensible filenames like NewYork.jpg, or cake.png. Porn, however, is a little different. Despite the apparent overwhelming interest in porn, most web developers don’t label their pictures “big_titted_woman_bending_over_a_table_with_a_guy_grabbing_her_from_behind.” Image 7. Of 12. Dot jpg. They are a little less imaginative. Which in turn, makes searching for said image much more difficult. In reality, most of the filenames are generated by a computer – the most unimaginative of beings – and not humans. Consequently, the best search term is a name that is similarly unimaginative.

And that term is…

01.jpg

Truly!

The unimaginative computer program running most adult web sites simply look at each image in a particular series, and automatically generate a web page by renaming the pictures in order. Starting at 01.jpg, continuing with 02.jpg, and so on. 1.jpg will also return a wide selection of results, but JPG is the preferred name and format for porn, so 01.jp e g, 01.bmp and 01.png will yield less, er, upstanding results.

To search for more specific porn (and filter out the non-porn rubbish) you can then add, as the second search term, the type of porn for which you are looking. This is because the image search will look at the text surrounding the image as a tie-breaker between the 38,500,000 images called 01.jpg. Because adult galleries contain little else other than images, this supplementary text is easy for the computer to find… it’s usually the title or heading of the page, and so invariably returns a suitable result.

Tip 4. Don’t forget text searches

While image searches on the web give you a very clear representation of what you can expect to find when you click, you should not discard text-only searches out of hand. For more specialized porn, a complex description is necessary to describe the specifics kinks involved in the portrayed act. As outlined in Tip #1, specialized search engines are useful here, since they have more to gain (i.e. referral dollars) by directing you to the material you want.

However, if you search for a specific genre of porn, and not even the porn search engines can find it on the Internet, then I’m sorry – you are probably a pervert!

Tip 5. Turn off Language-specifics

This is fairly obvi ous in some respects, but when using text searches you should eliminate Google’s innate preference for English web sites. After all, tits look like tits in any language!

To facilitate this, click on the “Advanced Search” section, on the right hand side of the text entry box on the standard Google page. (Note: The advanced image search option does not provide any language selection options.) The second option on this page allows you to specify web pages in any language, by using of the drop list on the right hand side.

Like the safe search preferences these remain valid while the Google cookie is on your machine, and so will affect your general (i.e. non-porn) browsing.

Tip 6. Turn on Country-specifics

This acts like a large grain filt er to purposefully include, or exclude, certain countries from your search. Its intended use was to target sites for suitable shopping on-line. After all, no matter how cheap a computer from Mongolia is, if you have to ship it across half the planet, it’s not going to be cheap for very long.

With adult material, country filters can be applied to restrict the data returned. While the pornography laws vary between countries, it generally affects those living within the country physically, and what can be present on newsstands and Internet servers within those countries. Generally spea