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The Young Man's Guide

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The Project Gutenberg eBook, The Young Man's Guide, by William A. Alcott This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it , give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online atwww.gutenberg.org

Title: The Young Man's Guide

Author: William A. Alcott

Release Date: December 14, 2007 [eBook #23860]

Language: English

Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1

***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE***

E-text prepared by Barbara Tozier, Bill Tozier, and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team (http://www.pgdp.net)

THE YOUNG MAN'S GUIDE.

WM. A. ALCOTT.

TWELFTH EDITION.

BOSTON: PERKINS AND MARVIN. 1838.

Entered, according to act of Congress, in the year 1835, By PERKINS& MARVIN, in the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the District of Massachusetts.

TO THE READER.

When I commenced this work, my object was a mere compilation. There were many excellent books for young men, already in circulation, but none which I thought unexceptionable; and some of them contained sentiments which I could not approve. I sat down, therefore, i ntending to make selections from the choicest parts of them all, and prepare an unexceptionable and practical manual; such an one as I should be willing to see in the hands of any youth in the community.

In the progress of my task, however, I found much less that was wholly in accordance with my own sentiments, than I had expected. The result was that the project ofcompiling, was given up; and a work prepared, which is chieflyoriginal. There are, it is true, some quotations from 'Burgh's Dignity of Human Nature,' 'Cobbett's Advice to Young Men,' 'Chesterfield's Advice,' and Hawes' Lectures; but in general what I have derived from other works is re-written, and much modified. On this account i t was thought unnecessary to refer to authorities in the body of the work.

The object of this book is toelevatea n dreform. That it may prove useful and acceptable, as a means to these ends, is the hearty wish of

Boston, Dec. 9, 1833.

THE AUTHOR

ADVERTISEMENT TO THE FIRST EDITION.

The great purpose of the Young Man's Guide, is the formation of such character in our young men as shall render them the worthy and useful and happy members of a great republic. To this end, the author enters largely into the means of improving themind, themannersand themorals;—as well as the proper management ofbusiness. Something is also said on amusements, andbad habits. On the subject ofmarriagehe has, however, been rather more full than elsewhere. The importance of this institution to

every young man, the means of rendering it what the Creator intended, together with those incidental evils which either a ccompany or follow —some of them in terrible retribution—the vices which tend to oppose His benevolent purposes, are faithfully presented, and claim the special attention of every youthful reader.

ADVERTISEMENT TO THE SECOND EDITION.

The rapid sale of a large edition of this work, and the general tribute of public praise which has been awarded to its merits, instead of closing the eyes of the Publishers or the Author against existing defects, have, on the contrary, only deepened their sense of obligation to render the present edition as perfect as possible; and no pains have b een spared to accomplish this end. Several new sections have been added to the work, and some of the former have been abridged or extended.

ADVERTISEMENT TO THE THIRD EDITION.

An increasing demand for the Young Man's Guide, evinced by the sale of more than five thousand copies of the work in a few months, have induced the publishers to give a third edition, with some amendments and additions by the author; who has also derived important suggestions from gentlemen of high literary and moral standing, to whom the work had been submitted for examination.

CONTENTS.

THE PUBLISHERS.

INTRO DUCTIO N.Mistakes in regard to the disposition and management of the young.

19-26

CHAPTER I.—IMPO RTANCEO FAIMINGHIG HINTHEFO RMATIO NO FCHARACTER.

Section I. Importance of having a high standard of action.—The young should determine to rise. We may usually become what we desire to be. An anecdote. Studying the lives of eminent and useful men.

Section II. Motives to action.—A regard to our own happiness. To family and friends. To society. To

27-30

country. To the will of God. The love of God, the highest motive. Section III. Industry.—No person has a right to live without labor. Determine to labor as long as you li ve. Mistaken method of teaching industry. Labor in the open air. Manual labor schools.

Section IV. Economy.—False and true; Examples of the false. Time is money. Sixty minutes shown to be an hour. Economical habits. 1. Do every thing at the time. Anecdote. 2. Every thing should have its place. Examples.

Section V. Indolence.—The indolent only half human. Characteristics of an indolent man. His epitaph.

Section VI. Early Rising and rest.—He who would rise early, mustretireearly. Morning air. Advantages of early rising. 1. Things go better through the day. 2. Morning hours moreagreeable. 3. Danger of thesecond nap. 4. Early risers long-lived. 5. One hour's sleep before midnight worth two after. 6. Saving oftimea n dmoney. Estimates. Examples of early rising.

Section VII. Duty to Parents.—Reasons. 1. For the sake of our own reputation. 2. From love to our parents. 3. Better tosufferwrong, than tod owrong. 4. Nothing gained by going away. Franklin an exception to the general rule. No sight more beautiful than a well ordered and happy family. Obedience the great lesson of life.

Section VIII. Faithfulness.—Our duty to our employers. Common error of the young. Examples. The Mahratta prince.

Section IX. On Forming Temperate Habits. —Drunkenness and gluttony. Indulgence short of these Indulgences veryexpensive. Spending time at meals. Water drinkers the best guests. Temperate habits tend to health. Ecclesiasticus. Examples of rational living. Tea, coffee, soups, and all warm drinks injurious. General rules.

Section X. Suppers.—Customs of our ancestors; and of the Jews. Advantages gained by avoiding suppers. Eating-houses.

Section XI. Dress.—Its uses. Neither be first nor last in a fashion. Fondness for dress. Women not often misled by dress.

Section XII. Bashfulness and Modesty.—Wem a ybe both bashful and impudent. Bashfulness injurious. S et up for just what we are, and no more.

31-38

38-43

43-47

47- 49

49-55

56-59

59-61

62-70

70-73

73-75

76-78

Section XIII. Politeness and Good Breeding.—Not to be despised. In what good breeding consists. How acquired. Ten plain rules. Section XIV. Personal Habits.—Business of the day planned in the morning. Dressing, shaving, &c. Shaving with cold water. Anecdote.

Section XV. Bathing and Cleanliness.—Connection of Cleanliness with Moral Purity. Neglect of this subject.

Section XVI. Little Things.—Not to be disregarded. Zimmerman. The worldmade upof little things.

Section XVII. Anger, and the means of restraining i t. Avoid the first steps. An error in education. Opini on of Dr. Darwin. The Quaker and the Merchant. Zimmerman's method ofo v e r c o m i n ganger. Unreasonableness of returning evil for evil.

CHAPTER II.—ONTHEMANAG EMENTO FBUSINESS.

78-82

82-88

88-89

89-93

93-99

Section I. Commencing Business.—Avoid debt. Do not begin too early. Facts stated. Why young men do not take warning. Students of Medicine and Divinity. Examples for imitation. 100-108 Section II. Importance of Integrity.—Thieves and robbers respect it. What it is. Many kinds of dishonesty. 1. Concealing the market price. 2. Misrepresenting it. 3. Selling unsound or defective goods, and calling them sound and perfect. Quack medicines. 4. Concealing defects. 5. Lowering the value of things we wish to buy. 6. Use of false weights and measures. Other kinds of dishonesty. 108-115 Section III. Method.—Memorandum book; its uses. Rules for doing much business in little time. 116-11 7 Section IV. Application to Business.—Every person ought to have one principal object of pursuit, and steadily pursue it. Perseverance of a shopkeeper. A ll usefulemployments respectable. Character of adrone. 117-120

Section V. Proper Time and Season of doing Business.—When to deal with the gloomy; the intemperate; those unhappy in domestic life; men involved in public concerns. 120-122 Section VI. Buying upon Trust.—Live within our i ncome.Calculate.Buy nothing but what you need. Estimates and examples to show the folly of credit. Not intended as lessons of stinginess. 122-127 Section VII. We should endeavor to do our business ourselves. Four reasons. Trusting dependants. We can

do many little things without hindrance. Section VIII. Over Trading.—A species offraud. Arises from a desire to get rich rapidly. Wickedness of monopolies.

127-130

130-131

Section IX. Making contracts beforehand. Always make bargains beforehand. Three reasons. If possible, reduce every thing to writing. 131-132 Section X. How to know with whom to deal.—Two rules. How to detect a knave. All men by nature, avaricious. Avoid those who boast ofgood bargains. Avoid sanguine promisers. 133-135 Section XI. How to take Men as they are.—How to regard a miser; a passionate man; a slow man; the covetous; those ruled by their wives; the boasting; the mild tempered; the bully. Six sorts of people from whom you are not to expect much aid or sympathy in life: the sordid, the lazy, the busy, the rich, those miserable from poverty, and the silly. 136-140 Section XII. Of desiring the good opinion of others. —Those not far from ruin whodon't care.—The other extreme to be avoided. 140-141

Section XIII. Intermeddling with the affairs of others. —Matchmakers. Taking sides in quarrels. Ishmaelites. 142-143 Section XIV. On keeping Secrets.—Who may safely be trusted. Anecdotes. 143-145 Section XV. Fear of Poverty.—Little real poverty in this country. Shame of being thought poor leads to worse evils than poverty itself. Fear of poverty often a cause of suicide. 145-150

Section XVI. Speculation.—The habit early formed. It is a species of gaming. Its sources. 150-152 Section XVII. Lawsuits.—Avoid the law. Litigiousness, a disease. Consider what is gained by it. Examples of loss. Subdue the passions which lead to it. Lawsuits unnecessary. 152-156 Section XVIII. Hard dealing.—Its unchristian nature. Two prices.Habits of the Mohammedans. 156-157

CHAPTER III.—ONAMUSEMENTSANDINDULG ENCES.

Section I. On Gaming.—Every gambler a robber. The f i r s tplayer. Gamingp r o d u c e snothing. Corrupts manners. Discourages industry. Opinions of Locke and others. What tremendous evils it leads to. France, England. Different sorts of gaming. 1.Cards,dice, and billiards. 2.Shooting matches.These brutal practices

still sometimes tolerated. 3.Horse racinga n dcock fighting. A recent bull fight. 158-171 Section II. On Lotteries.—Lotteries thew orstspecies of Gaming. They are a species of swindling. Estimates to show their folly. Appeal to the reader. 171-176

Section III. The Theatre.—A school of vice. Injurious to health. Diseases produced by it. Its danger to morals. Opinions and facts from Griscom, Rousseau, Hawkins, Tillotson, Collier, Hale, Burgh, and Plato. Anecdote. Antiquity of theatres. No safety but intotal abstinence.

Section IV. Use of Tobacco.—1.Smoking.Picture of its evils in Germany. Tobacco consumed in the United States. When it was introduced. None recommend it to their children. A most powerful poison. Savages fond of it, in proportion to their degradation. No poisonous plant, so much used, except thebetelof India. How smoking can be abolished. 2.C h e w i n g .Apologies for the practice. Tobaccodoes notpreserve teeth. 3.Taking snuff.Disgust and danger of this habit.

Section V. Useful Recreations.—Recreations in the open air. Playing ball; quoits; nine pins, &c. Skating. Dancing. Its uses and dangers. Reading sometimes a recreation. Sports of the field considered.

CHAPTER IV.—IMPRO VEMENTO FTHEMIND.

Section I. Habits of Observation.—We should keep our 'eyes open.' Anecdote from Dr. Dwight. Avoid pedantry. Anecdote of a surgeon;—of the elder and younger Pliny.

Section II. Rules for Conversation.—Rules of profiting from it. Hear others. Do not interrupt them. Avoid those who use vulgar or profane language. Speak late yourself. Avoid great earnestness. Never be overbearing.

Section III. On Books and Study.—How to overcome a dislike to them. Lyceums, Travels, Histories, Newspapers. A common mistake. Education only the key to knowledge. Men have commenced students at 40. Franklin always a learner. We can findt i m efor study.Practical Studies.1 .Geography.How to study it. Its importance. 2.History.How pursued. 3.Arithmetic. Practicalarithmeticians. The mere use of the pen and pencil do not give a knowledge of this branch. 4. Chemistry, and other Natural Sciences. Usefulness of Chemistry. 5.Grammara n dComposition. One method of obtaining apracticalknowledge of these branches. 6. Letter writing. 7.Voyages,travels, andbiography. 8.

176-183

183-191

191-194

195-199

199-202

N ovel s.Not recommended, especially to those who have little leisure. 9.Newspapers.Newspapers, though productive of much evil, on the whole useful. Five rules to assist the reader in making a judicious selectio n. Politics. History and constitution of our country studied. 1 0 .Keeping a Journal.Examples. Other ways of improving the mind. Blank book, with pencil in our pockets. 11.Preservation of Books and Papers.Books should be covered; kept clean; used with dry hands. Turning down leaves. Using books for pillows, props to windows, seats, &c.

CHAPTER V.—SO CIALANDMO RALIMPRO VEMENT.

202-229

Section I. Female Society, in general.—Both sexes should be educated together. What we are to think of those who despise female society. How it polishes and improves us. 230-234 Section II. Advice and Friendship of Mothers. 234-23 5 Section III. Society of Sisters—Attentions due them. Their benefit. 236-237 Section IV. General Remarks and Advice.—Too great intimacy. Avoid trifling. Beware of idolatry. 238-24 1 Section V. Lyceums and other Social Meetings. —Value of Lyceums, and courses of lectures. How they might be improved. Their cheapness. 241-243 Section VI. Moral Instruction.—Sabbath Schools and Bible Classes. Value of the latter. 243-244 Section VII. Of Female Society in reference to Marriage.—Every youth should keep matrimony in view. Particular advice. The wish to marry, prudently indulged, will have a great influence on our character. Error of a pedagogue. 244-250

CHAPTER VI.—MARRIAG E.

Section I. Why Matrimony is a duty.—Importance of the subject. Considered as a school. Early marriage . Objections. Seven great evils from late marriages.

2 51-258

Section II. General Considerations.—Husbands and wives gradually resemble each other. Considerations for those who embark in matrimony. 258-262 Section III. Female Qualifications for Matrimony.—1. Moral Excellence.2 .Common Sense.3 .Desire for i mprovement.4 .Fondness for children.Miserable condition of a husband or wife, where this is wanting. 5. Love of domestic concerns.Evils of ignorance on this

point. Fashionable education in fault. 6.Sobriety. Definition of the term. An anecdote. Love of mental and bodily excitement usually connected. 7.Industry.How to judge whether a person is industrious. 8.Early rising.A mark of industry. Late rising difficult of cure. 9.Frugality. Its importance shown. 10.Personal Neatness.Its comforts. 11.A good temper.Its importance illustrated. 12.Accomplishments.

CHAPTER VII.—CRIMINALBEHAVIO R.

Section I. Inconstancy and Seduction.—Constancy. Its importance illustrated by an example. Cruelty of sporting with the affections of a female. Opinion o f Burgh.

Section II. Licentiousness.—Most common in cities. New Orleans. Hint to legislators. A horrid picture. Not wholly imaginary. Avoid the first erring step. Example of premature decrepitude. Anecdote of C. S. Solitary vice. This vice compared with intemperance. A set of wretches exposed. Apologies sometimes made. Nature of the evils this error produces. The law of God. Medical testimony. Entire celibacy, or purity, not unfavorable to health. Youth ought to consider this, and study the human frame. Causes of the error in question. 1.False delicacy.Our half Mohammedan education. 2.Books, Pictures, &c. Great extent of this evil. Opinion of Dr. Dwight. 3.Obscene and improper songs.Anecdote of a schoolmaster. 4.Double entendres.Parental errors. Evening Parties.

263-305

306-313

314-337

Section III. Diseases of Licentiousness. Nine or ten of them enumerated. The ninth described. Four examples of suffering. When the young ought to tremble. Happiness of having never erred. What books may be safely and usefully consulted. Extract from Rees' Cyclopedia. Other forms of disease. Of excess. All degrees of vice are excessive. Duties of Parents as guides to the young. Obligations of Medical men. Concluding Remarks. 337-354

ADDITIONAL CHAPTER.

Section I. Choice of Friends. Importance of a few female friends. Caution necessary in making a choice. Story of Lucius—his mistake. Reflections. Character of friends. Select a small number only.

Section II. Rudeness of manners. Wearing hats in the house—its tendency. Practical questions. Manners in families.

Section III. Self-praise. Egotism. We should say little about ourselves.

INTRODUCTION.

The young are often accused of being thoughtless, rash, and unwilling to be advised.

That the former of these charges is in a great measure just, is not denied. Indeed, what else could be expected? They arethoughtless, for they are yet almost strangers to the world, and its cares and perplexities. They are forward, and sometimesrash; but this generally arises from that buoyancy of spirits, which health and vigor impart. True, it is to be corrected, let the cause be what it may; but we shall correct with more caution, and probably with greater success, when we understand its origin.

That youth areunwilling to be advised, as a general rule, appears to me untrue. At least I have not found it so. When the feeling does exist, I believe it often arises from parental mismanagement, or fro m an unfortunate method of advising.

The infant seeks to grasp the burning lamp;—the parent endeavors to dissuade him from it. At length he grasps it, and suffers the consequences. Finally, however, if the parent manages him properly, he learns to follow his advice, and obey his indications, in order to avoid pain. Such, at least, is the natural result ofrationalmanagement. And the habit of seeking parental counsel, once formed, is not easily eradicated. It is true that temptation and forgetfulness may lead some of the youngoccasionallyto grasp thelamp, even after they are told better; but the consequent suffering generally restores them to their reason. It is only when the parent neglects or refuses to give advice, and for a long time manifests little or no sympathy with his child, that the habit of filial reliance and confidence is destroyed. In fact there are very few children indeed, however improperly managed, who do not in early life acquire a degree of this confidin g, inquiring, counsel-seeking disposition.

Most persons, as they grow old, forget that they have ever been young themselves. This greatly disqualifies them for soci al enjoyment. It was wisely said; 'He who would pass the latter part of his life with honor and decency, must, when he is young, consider that he shall one day be old, and when he is old, remember that he has once been young.' But if forgetfulness on this point disqualifies a person forse l fenjoyment, how much more for that which is social?

Still more does it disqualify us for giving advice. While a lad, I was at play, one day, with mywhen two mates, gentlemen observing us, one of them

said to the other; 'Do you think you ever acted as foolishly as those boys do?' 'Why yes; I suppose I did;' was the reply. 'Well,' said the other, 'I never did;—IknowI never did.'

Both of these persons has the name of parent, but he who could not believe he had ever acted like a child himself, is greatly destitute of the proper parental spirit. He never—or scarcely ever—puts himself to the slightest inconvenience to promote, directly, the happiness of the young, even for half an hour.

He supposes every child ought to be grave, like himself. If he sees the young engaged in any of those exercises which are really adapted to their years, he regards it as an entire loss of time, besides being foolish and unreasonable. He would have them at work, or at their studies. Whereas there is scarcely any thing that should give a parent more pleasure than to see his children, in their earliest years, enjoying that flow of spirits, which leads them forth to active, vigorous, blood-stirring sports.

Of all persons living, he who does not remember that he has once been young, is the most completely disqualified for giving youthful counsel. He obtrudes his advice occasionally, when the youth is already under temptation, and borne along with the force of a vicious current; but because he disregards it, he gives him up as heedless, perh aps as obstinate. If advice is afterwards asked, his manners are cold and repulsive. Or perhaps he frowns him away, telling him he neverfollowshis advice, and therefore it is useless togiveit. So common is it to treat the young with a measure of this species of roughness, that I cannot wonder the maxim has obtained that the young, generally, 'despise counsel.' And yet, I am fully convinced, no maxim is farther from the truth.

When we come to the very close of life, we cannot transfer, in a single moment, that knowledge of the world and of human na ture which an experience of 70 years has afforded us. If, therefo re, from any cause whatever, we have not already dealt it out to those around us, it is likely to be lost;—and lost for ever. Now is it not a pity that what the young would regard as an invaluable treasure, could they come at it in such a manner, and at such seasons, as would beagreeableto them, and that, too, which the old are naturally so fond of distributing, shou ld be buried with their bodies?

Let me counsel the young, then, to do every thing they can, consistently with the rules of good breeding, to draw forth from the old the treasures of which I have been speaking. Let them even make some sacrifice of that buoyant feeling which, at their age, is so apt to p redominate. Let them conform, for the time, in some measure, to the gravity of the aged, in order to gain their favor, and secure their friendship and confidence. I do not ask them wholly to forsake society, or their youthful pastimes for this purpose, or to become gravehabitually; for this would be requiring too much. But there are moments when old people, however disgusted they may be with the young, do so far unbend themselves as to enter into cheerful and instructive conversation. I can truly say that when a boy, some of my happiest hours were spent in the society of the aged—those too, wh o were not always