Paste Jewels

thoek - John Kendrick Bangs

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Paste Jewels, by John Kendrick Bangs
The Project Gutenberg eBook, Paste Jewels, by John Kendrick Bangs (#7 in our series by John Kendrick Bangs) This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.net
Title: Paste Jewels Author: John Kendrick Bangs Release Date: November 20, 2004 [eBook #4930] Language: English Character set encoding: ASCII ***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PASTE JEWELS***
Transcribed by David Price, email ccx074@coventry.ac.uk, from the 1897 Harper and Brothers edition.
PASTE JEWELS
PREFACE
It may interest the readers of this collection of tales, if there should be any such, to know that the incidents upon which the stories are based are unfortunately wholly truthful. They have one and all come under the author’s observation during the past ten years, and with the exception of “Mr. Bradley’s Jewel,” concerning whom it is expressly stated that she was employed through lack of other available material, not one of the servants herein made famous or infamous, as the case may be, was employed except upon presentation of references written by responsible persons that could properly have been given only to domestics of the most sterling character. It is this last fact that points the moral of the tales here presented, if it does not adorn them. J. K. ...

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Publié par	thoek
Publié le	01 décembre 2010
Nombre de lectures	20
Langue	English

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Paste Jewels, by John Kendrick BangsThe Project Gutenberg eBook, Paste Jewels, by John Kendrick Bangs(#7 in our series by John Kendrick Bangs)This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and withalmost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away orre-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License includedwith this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.netTitle: Paste JewelsAuthor: John Kendrick BangsRelease Date: November 20, 2004 [eBook #4930]Language: EnglishCharacter set encoding: ASCII***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PASTE JEWELS***Transcribed by David Price, email ccx074@coventry.ac.uk, from the1897 Harper and Brothers edition.PASTE JEWELSPREFACEIt may interest the readers of this collection of tales, if there should be any such, to know that theincidents upon which the stories are based are unfortunately wholly truthful. They have one andall come under the author’s observation during the past ten years, and with the exception of “Mr.Bradley’s Jewel,” concerning whom it is expressly stated that she was employed through lack ofother available material, not one of the servants herein made famous or infamous, as the casemay be, was employed except upon presentation of references written by responsible personsthat could properly have been given only to domestics of the most sterling character. It is this lastfact that points the moral of the tales here presented, if it does not adorn them.J. K. B.THE EMANCIPATION OF THADDEUSThey were very young, and possibly too amiable. Thaddeus was but twenty-four and Bessie

twenty-two when they twain, made one, walked down the middle aisle of St. Peter’s together.Everybody remarked how amiable she looked even then; not that a bride on her way out ofchurch should look unamiable, of course, but we all know how brides do look, as a rule, on suchoccasions - looks difficult of analysis, but strangely suggestive of determined timidity, if there canbe such a quality expressed in the human face. It is the natural expression of one who knowsthat she has taken the most important step of her life, and, on turning to face those who havebeen bidden to witness the ceremony, observes that the sacredness of the occasion is somewhatmarred by the presence in church of the unbidden curiosity-seekers, who have come for muchthe same reason as that which prompts them to go to the theatre - to enjoy the spectacle. ButBessie’s face showed nothing but that intense amiability for which she had all her life long beennoted; and as for Thaddeus, he never ceased to smile from the moment he turned and faced thecongregation until the carriage door closed upon him and his bride, and then, of course, he hadto, his lips being otherwise engaged. Indeed, Thaddeus’s amiability was his greatest vice. Hehad never been known to be ill-natured in his life but once, and that was during the week thatBessie had kept him in suspense while she was making up her mind not to say “No” to animportant proposition he had made - a proposition, by-the-way, which resulted in this veryceremony, and was largely responsible for the trials and tribulations which followed.Thaddeus was rich - that is, he had an income and a vocation; a charming little home wasawaiting their coming, off in a convenient suburb; and, best of all, Bessie was an accomplishedhouse-keeper, having studied under the best mistresses of that art to be found in the country. And even if she had not completely mastered the art of keeping house, Thaddeus was confidentthat all would go well with them, for their waitress was a jewel, inherited from Bessie’s mother,and the cook, though somewhat advanced in years, was beyond cavil, having been known to thefamily of Thaddeus for a longer period than Thaddeus himself had been. The only uncertainquantity in the household was Norah, the up-stairs girl, who was not only new, but auburn-hairedand of Celtic extraction.Under such circumstances did the young couple start in life, and many there were who lookedupon them with envy. At first, of course, the household did not run as smoothly as it might havedone - meals were late, and served with less ceremony than either liked; but, as Bessie said, asshe and Thaddeus were finishing their breakfast one morning, “What could you expect?”To which Thaddeus, with his customary smile, replied “What, indeed! We get along much betterthan I really thought we should with old Ellen.”Old Ellen was the cook, and she had been known to Thaddeus as “Old Ellen” even before hislips were able to utter the words.“Ellen has her ways, and Jane has hers,” said Bessie. “After Jane has got accustomed to Ellen’sway of getting breakfast ready, she will know better how to go about her own work. I think,perhaps, cook’s manner is a little harsh. She made Jane cry about the omelet this morning; butJane is teary, anyhow.”“It wouldn’t do to have Ellen oily and Jane watery,” Thaddeus answered. “They’d mix worse thanever then. We’re in pretty good luck as it is.”“I think so, too, Teddy,” Bessie replied; “but Jane is so foolish. She might have known better thanto send the square platter down to Ellen for an omelet, when the omelet was five times as long asit was broad.”“You always had square omelets, though, at your house - that is, whenever I was there you had,”said Thaddeus. “And I suppose Jane’s notion is that as things happened under your mother’srégime, so they ought to happen here.”

“Possibly that was her notion,” replied Bessie; “but, then, in your family the omelets were oblong,and Ellen is too old to depart from her traditions. Old people get set in their ways, and as long asresults are satisfactory, we ought not to be captious about methods.”“No, indeed, we shouldn’t,” smiled Thaddeus; “but I don’t want you to give in to Ellen to too greatan extent, my dear. This is your home, and not my mother’s, and your ways must be the ways ofthe house.”“Ellen is all right,” returned Bessie, “and I am so delighted to have her, because, you know,Teddy dear, she knows what you like even better, perhaps, than I do - naturally so, having grownup in your family.”“Reverse that, my dear. Our family grew up on Ellen. She set the culinary pace at home. Motheralways let her have her own way, and it may be she is a little spoiled.”“Do you know, Teddy, I wonder that, having had Ellen for so many years, your mother was willingto give her up.”“Oh, I can explain that,” Thaddeus answered. “I’m the youngest, you know; the rest of the familywere old enough to be weaned. Besides, father was getting old, and he had a notion that thecomforts of a hotel were preferable to the discomforts of house-keeping. Father likes to eat mealsat all hours, and the annunciator system of hotel life, by which you can summon anything in aninstant, from a shower-bath to a feast of terrapin, was rather pleasing to him. He was always anadmirer of the tales of the genii, and he regards the electric button in a well-appointed hotel asthe nearest approach to the famous Aladdin lamp known to science. You press the button, and”your genii do the rest.“But a hotel isn’t home,” said Bessie.“A hotel isn’t this home,” answered Thaddeus. “Love in a cottage for me; but, Bessie, perhapsyou - perhaps it wouldn’t be a bad idea for you to speak to Jane and Ellen this morning abouttheir differences. I am an hour late now.”Then Thaddeus kissed Bessie, and went down to business.On Thaddeus’s departure Bessie’s cheerfulness also deserted her, and for the first time in her lifeshe felt that it would do her good if she could fly out at somebody - somebody, however, who wasnot endeared to the heart of Thaddeus, or too intimately related to her own family, which left noone but Norah upon whom to vent the displeasure that she felt. Norah was, therefore, sought out,and requested rather peremptorily to say how long it had been since she had dusted the parlor; towhich Norah was able truthfully to answer, “This mornin’, mim.” Whereupon Bessie’s desire tobe disagreeable departed, and saying that Norah could now clean the second-story front-roomwindows, she withdrew to her own snug sewing-room until luncheon should be served. She wasjust a trifle put out with Norah for being so efficient. There is nothing so affronting to a younghouse-keeper as the discovery that the inherited family jewels, upon whom much reliance hasbeen placed, are as paste alongside of the newly acquired bauble from whom little wasexpected. It was almost unkind in Norah, Bessie thought, to be so impeccably conscientiouswhen Jane and Ellen were developing eccentricities; but there was the consoling thought thatwhen they had all been together a month or two longer, their eccentricities would so shapethemselves that they would fit into one another, and ultimately bind the little domestic structuremore firmly together.“Perhaps if I let them alone,” Bessie said to herself, “they’ll forget their differences more quickly. Iguess, on the whole, I will say nothing about it.”That night, when Thaddeus came home, the first thing he said to his wife was: “Well, I suppose

you were awfully firm this morning, eh? Went down into the kitchen and roared like a little tyrant,eh? I really was afraid to read the paper on the way home. Didn’t know but what I’d read of a‘Horrid Accident in High Life. Mrs. Thaddeus Perkins’s Endeavor to Maintain Discipline in theHousehold Results Fatally. Two Old Family Servants Instantly Killed, and Three of the KitchenTable Legs Broken by a Domestic Explosion!’”“Be serious, Thaddeus,” said Bessie.And Thaddeus became instantly serious. “They - they haven’t left us, have they?” he whispered,in an awe-struck tone.“No. I - I thought I’d let them fight it out between themselves,” replied Bessie. “You see,Thaddeus, servants are queer, and do not like to have their differences settled by others than.themselves. It’ll work out all right, if we let them alone”“I don’t know but that you are right,” said Thaddeus, after a few moments of thought. “They’reboth sensible girls, and capable of fighting their own battles. Let’s have dinner. I’m hungry as abear.”It was half-past six o’clock, and the usual hour for dinner. At 8.10 dinner was served. Theintervening time was consumed by Jane and Ellen endeavoring to settle their differences by thesilent, sniffy method - that is, Jane would sniff, and Ellen would be silent; and then Ellen wouldsniff, and Jane would be silent. As for Thaddeus and Bessie, they were amused rather thanangry to have the dear little broiled chicken Bessie had provided served on the large beef-platter;and when the pease came up in a cut-glass salad-dish, Thaddeus laughed outright, but Bessie’seyes grew moist. It was too evident that Jane and Ellen were not on speaking terms, and therewas strong need for some one to break the ice. Fortunately, Bessie’s mother called that evening,and some of her time was spent below-stairs. What she said there only Ellen and Jane knew, butit had its effect, and for two or three weeks the jewels worked almost as satisfactorily as didNorah, the new girl, and quite harmoniously.“Bessie,” said Thaddeus, one night as they ate their supper, “does it occur to you that the roast isa little overdone to-night?”“Yes, Teddy, it is very much overdone. I must speak to Ellen about it. She is a little carelessabout some things. I’ve told her several times that you like your beef rare.”“Well, I’d tell her again. Constant dropping of water on its surface will wear away a stone, and Ithink, perhaps, the constant dropping of an idea on a cook’s head may wear away some of thethickest parts of that - at least, until it is worn thin enough for the idea to get through to where herbrain ought to be. You might say to her, too, that for several nights past dinner has been cold.”“I’ll speak to her in the morning,” was Bessie’s reply; and the dear little woman was true to herpurpose.“She explained about the beef and the cold dinner, Ted,” she said, when Thaddeus came homethat afternoon.“Satisfactorily to all hands, I hope?” said Thaddeus, with his usual smile.“Yes, perfectly. In fact, I wonder we hadn’t thought of it ourselves. In the old home, you know, the.dinner-hour was six o’clock, while here it is half-past six”“What has that got to do with it?” asked Thaddeus.“’“How obtuse of you, Teddy!” exclaimed Bessie. Dont you see, the poor old thing has been so

used to six-o’clock dinners that she has everything ready for us at six? And if we are half an hourlate, of course things get cold; or if they are kept in the oven, as was the case with the beef lastnight, they are apt to be overdone?”“Why, of course. Ha! Ha! Wonder I didn’t think of that,” laughed Thaddeus, though his mirth didseem a little forced. “But - she’s - she’s going to change, I suppose?”“She said she’d try,” Bessie replied. “She was really so very nice about it, I hadn’t the heart toscold her.”“I’m glad,” was all Thaddeus said, and during the rest of the meal he was silent. Once or twice heseemed on the verge of saying something, but apparently changed his mind.“Are you tired to-night, dear?” said Bessie, as the dessert was served.“No. Why?” said Thaddeus, shortly.“Oh, nothing. I thought you seemed a little so,” Bessie answered. “You mustn’t work too harddown-town.”“No, my dear girl,” he said. “I won’t, and I don’t. I was thinking all through dinner about thosegirls down-stairs. Perhaps - perhaps I had better talk to them, eh? You are so awfully kind-hearted, and it does seem to me as though they imposed a little on you, that’s all. The salad to-night was atrocious. It should have been kept on the ice, instead of which it comes to the tablelooking like a last year’s bouquet.”Bessie’s eyes grew watery. “I’m afraid it was my fault,” she said. “I ought to have looked after thesalad myself. I always did at home. I suppose Jane got it out expecting me to prepare it.”“Oh, well, never mind,” said Thaddeus, desirous of soothing the troubled soul of his wife. “Iwouldn’t have mentioned it, only Jane does too much thinking, in a thoughtless way, anyhow. Servants aren’t paid to think.”“I’ll tell you what, Thaddeus,” said Bessie, her spirits returning, “we are just as much to blame asthey are; we’ve taken too much for granted, and so have they. Suppose we spend the eveningputting together a set of rules for the management of the house? It will be lots of fun, and perhapsit will do the girls good. They ought to understand that while our parents have had their ways -and reasonable ways - there is no reason why we should not have our ways.”“In other words,” said Thaddeus, “what we want to draw up is a sort of Declaration ofIndependence.”“That’s it, exactly,” Bessie replied.“Better get a slate and write them on that,” suggested Thaddeus, with a broad grin. “Then we canrub out whatever Jane and Ellen don’t like.”“I hate you when you are sarcastic,” said Bessie, with a pout, and then she ran for her pad andpencil.The evening was passed as she had suggested, and when they retired that night the house ofPerkins was provided with a constitution and by-laws.“I don’t suppose I shall recognize my surroundings when I get back home to-night,” saidThaddeus, when he waked up in the morning.

“Why not?”asked Bessie. “What strange transformation is there to be?”“The discipline will be so strict,” answered Thaddeus. “I presume you will put those rules of oursinto operation right away?”“I have been thinking about that,” said Bessie, after a moment. “You see, Thad, there are a greatmany things about running a house that neither you nor I are familiar with yet, and it seems to methat maybe we’d better wait a little while before we impose these rules on the girls; it would beawkward to have to make changes afterwards, you know.”“There is something in that,” said Thaddeus; “but, after all, not so much as you seem to think. Allrules have exceptions. I’ve no doubt that the cook will take exception to most of them.”“That’s what I’m afraid of, and as she’s so old I kind of feel as if I ought to respect her feelings alittle more than we would Norah’s, for instance. I can just tell you I shall make Norah stand.around”“I think it would be a good plan if you did,” said Thaddeus. “I’m afraid Norah will die if you don’t. She works too hard to be a real servant - real servants stand around so much, you know.”“Don’t be flippant, Thaddeus. This is a very serious matter. Norah is a good girl, as you say. She works so much and so quickly that she really makes me tired, and I’m constantly oppressedwith the thought that she may get through with whatever she is doing before I can think ofsomething else to occupy her time. But with her we need have none of the feeling that we havewith Jane and Ellen. She is young, and susceptible to new impressions. She can fall in withnew rules, while the other two might chafe under them. Now, I say we wait until we find out if wecannot let well enough alone, and not raise discord in our home.”“There never was an Eden without its serpent,” sighed Thaddeus. “I don’t exactly like the idea offitting our rules to their idiosyncrasies”.“It isn’t that, dear. I don’t want that, either; but neither do we wish to unnecessarily hamper themin their work by demanding that they shall do it our way.”“Oh, well, you are the President of the Republic,” said Thaddeus. “You run matters to suityourself, and I believe we’ll have the most prosperous institution in the world before we know it. If it were a business matter, I’d have those rules or die; but I suppose you can’t run a house asyou would a business concern. I guess you are right. Keep the rules a week. Why not submit‘em to your mother first?”“I thought of that,” said Bessie. “But then it occurred to me that as Ellen had served always underyour mother, it would be better if we consulted her.”“I don’t,” said Thaddeus. “She’d be sure to tell you not to have any rules, or, if she didn’t, shewould advise you to consult with the cook in the matter, which would result in Ellen’s becomingPresident, and you and I taxpayers. She used to run our old house, and now see theconsequences!”“What are the consequences?” asked Bessie.“Mother and father have been driven into a hotel, and the children have all been married.”“That’s awful,” laughed Bessie.And so the rules were filed away for future reference. That they would have remained on file foran indefinite period if Thaddeus had not asked a friend to spend a few weeks with him, I do not

doubt. Bessie grew daily more mistrustful of their value, and Thaddeus himself preferred thecomfort of a quiet though somewhat irregular mode of living to the turmoil likely to follow theimposition of obnoxious regulations upon the aristocrats below-stairs. But the coming ofThaddeus’s friend made a difference.The friend was an elderly man, with a business and a system. He was a man, for instance, whoall his life had breakfasted at seven, lunched at one, and dined at six-thirty, of which Thaddeuswas aware when he invited him to make his suburban home his headquarters while his ownhouse was being renovated and his family abroad. Thaddeus was also aware that the breakfastand dinner hours under Bessie’s regime were nominally those of his friend, and so he was ableto assure Mr. Liscomb that his coming would in no way disturb the usual serenity of the domesticpond. The trusting friend came. Breakfast number one was served fifteen minutes after the hour,and for the first time in ten years Mr. Liscomb was late in arriving at his office. He had not quiterecovered from the chagrin consequent upon his tardiness when that evening he sat down todinner at Thaddeus’s house, served an hour and ten minutes late, Ellen having been summonedby wire to town to buy a pair of shoes for one of her sister’s children, the sister herself sufferingfrom poverty and toothache.“I hope you were not delayed seriously this morning, Mr. Liscomb,” said Bessie, after dinner.“Oh no, not at all!” returned Liscomb, polite enough to tell an untruth, although its opposite wasalso a part of his system.“Ellen must be more prompt with breakfast,” said Thaddeus. “Seven, sharp, is the hour. Did youspeak to her about it?”“No, but I intend to,” answered Bessie. “I’ll tell her the first thing after breakfast to-morrow. Imeant to have spoken about it to-day, but when I got down-stairs she had gone out.”“Was it her day out?”“No; but her sister is sick, and she was sent for. It was all right. She left word where she wasgoing with Jane.”“That was very considerate of her,” said Liscomb, politely.”“Yes, said Bessie. “Ellen’s a splendid woman.”Later on in the evening, about half-past nine, when Mr. Liscomb, wearied with the excitement ofthe first irregular day he had known from boyhood, retired, Thaddeus took occasion to say:“Bessie, I think you’d better tell Ellen about having breakfast promptly in the morning to-night,before we go to bed.”“Very well,” returned Bessie, “I’ll go down now and do it;” and down she went. In a moment shewas back. “The poor thing was so tired,” she said, “that she went to bed as soon as dinner wascooked, so I couldn’t tell her.”“Why didn’t you send up word to her by Jane?”“Oh, she must be asleep by this time!”“Oh!” said Thaddeus.It was nine o’clock the next morning when Ellen opened her eyes. Breakfast had been served ahalf-hour earlier, Jane and Bessie having cooked some eggs, which Bessie ate alone, since

Thaddeus and Liscomb were compelled to take the eight-o’clock train to town, hungry andforlorn. Liscomb was very good-natured about it to Thaddeus, but his book-keeper had a wofultale to tell of his employer’s irritability when he returned home that night. As for Thaddeus, hespoke his mind very plainly - to Liscomb. Bessie never knew what he said, nor did any of theservants; but he said it to Liscomb, and, as Liscomb remarked later, he seemed like somebodyelse altogether while speaking, he was so fierce and determined about it all. That night atelegram came from Liscomb, saying that he had been unexpectedly delayed, and that, as therewere several matters requiring his attention at his own home, he thought he would not be upagain until Sunday.Bessie was relieved, and Thaddeus was mad.“We must have those rules,” he said.And so they were brought out. Ellen received them with stolid indifference; Jane withindignation, if the slamming of doors in various parts of the house that day betokened anything. Norah accepted them without a murmur. It made no difference to Norah on what day she sweptthe parlor, nor did she seem to care very much because her “days at home” were shifted, so thather day out was Friday instead of Thursday.“Has Ellen said anything about the rules, my dear?” asked Thaddeus, a week or two later.“Not a word,” returned Bessie.“Has she ‘looked’ anything?”“Volumes,” Bessie answered.“Does she take exception to any of them?”“No,” said Bessie, “and I’ve discovered why, too. She hasn’t read them.”Thaddeus was silent for a minute. Then he said, quite firmly for him, “She must read them.”“Must is a strong word, Teddy,” Bessie replied, “particularly since Ellen can’t read.”“Then you ought to read them to her.”“That’s what I think,” Bessie answered, amiably. “I’m going to do it very soon - day after to-morrow, I guess.”“What has Jane said?” asked Thaddeus, biting his lip.Bessie colored. Jane had expressed herself with considerable force, and Bessie had been alittle afraid to tell Thaddeus what she had said and done.“Oh, nothing much,” she answered. “She - she said she’d never worn caps like a commonservant, and wasn’t going to begin now; and then she didn’t like having to clean the silver onSaturday afternoons, because the silver-powder got into her finger-nails; and that really is toobad, Teddy, because Saturday night is the night her friends come to call, and silver-powder isawfully hard to get out of your nails, you know; and, of course, a girl wants to appear neat andclean when she has callers.”“Of course,” said Thaddeus. “And I judge by the appearance of the brass fenders that shedoesn’t like to polish them up on Wednesday because it gives her a backache on Thursday,which is her day out.”

Bessie’s eyes took on their watery aspect again.“Do the fenders look so very badly, Ted?” she asked.“They’re atrocious,” said Thaddeus.“I’m sorry, dear; but I did my best. I polished them myself this afternoon; Jane had to go to a.funeral”“Oh, my!” cried Thaddeus. “This subject’s too much for me. Let’s go out - somewhere, anywhere- to a concert. Music hath its charms to soothe a savage breast, and my breast is simply the veryessence of wildness to-night. Put on your things, Bess, and hurry, or I’ll suffocate.”Bessie did as she was told, and before ten o’clock the happy pair had forgotten their woes, nordo I think they would have remembered them again that night had they not found on their returnhome that they were locked out.At this even the too amiable Bessie was angry - very angry - unjustly, as it turned out afterwards.“They weren’t to blame, after all,” she explained to Thaddeus, when he came home the nextnight. “I spoke to them about it, and they all thought we’d spend the night with your mother andfather at the Oxford”.“They’re a thoughtful lot,” said Thaddeus.And so time passed. The “treasures” did as they pleased; the dubious auburn-haired Norahcontinued her aggravating efficiency. Bessie’s days were spent in anticipation of an interview ofan unpleasant nature with Jane or Ellen “to-morrow.” Thaddeus’s former smile grew lessperpetual - that is, it was always visible when Bessie was before him, but when Bessie waselsewhere, so also was the token of Thaddeus’s amiability. He chafed under the tyranny, but itnever occurred to him but once that it would be well for him to interview Ellen and Jane; and then,summoning them fiercely, he addressed them mildly, ended the audience with a smile, and felthimself beneath their sway more than ever.Then something happened. A day came and went, and the morrow thereof found Thaddeusdethroned from even his nominal position of head of the house. There was a young Thaddeus,an eight-pound Thaddeus, a round, red-cheeked, bald-headed Thaddeus that looked more likethe Thaddeus of old than Thaddeus did himself; and then, at a period in which man feels himselfthe least among the insignificant, did our hero find happiness unalloyed once more, for to thepride of being a father was added the satisfaction of seeing Jane and Ellen acknowledge asuperior. Make no mistake, you who read. It was not to Thaddeus junior that these gems boweddown. It was to the good woman who came in to care for the little one and his mother that theyhumbled themselves.“She’s great,” said Thaddeus to himself, as he watched Jane bustling about to obey thecommand of the temporary mistress of the situation as she had never bustled before.“She’s a second Elizabeth,” chuckled Thaddeus, as he listened to an order passed down thedumb-waiter shaft from the stout empress of the moment to the trembling queen of the kitchen.“She’s a little dictatorial,” whispered Thaddeus to his newspaper, when the monarch of all shesurveyed gave him his orders. “But there are times, even in a Republic like this, when a dictatoris an advantage. I hate to see a woman cry, but the way Jane wept at the routing Mrs. Browngave her this morning was a finer sight than Niagara.”

But, alas! this happy state of affairs could not last forever. Thaddeus was just beginning to get oneasy terms with Mrs. Brown when she was summoned elsewhere.“Change of heir is necessary for one in her profession,” sighed Thaddeus; and then, when hethought of resuming the reins himself, he sighed again, and wished that Mrs. Brown might haveremained a fixture in the household forever. “Still,” he added, more to comfort himself thanbecause he had any decided convictions to express - “still, a baby in the house will make adifference, and Ellen and Jane will behave better now that Bessie’s added responsibilities putthem more upon their honor.”For a time Thaddeus’s prophecy was correct. Ellen and Jane did do better for nearly two months,and then - but why repeat the old story? Then they lapsed, that is all, and became moretyrannical than ever. Bessie was so busy with little Ted that the household affairs outside of thenursery came under their exclusive control. Thaddeus stood it - I was going to say nobly, but I-think it were better put ignobly but he had a good excuse for so doing.“A baby is an awful care to its mother,” he said; “a responsibility that takes up her whole time andattention. I don’t think I’d better complicate matters by getting into a row with the servants.”And so it went. A year and another year passed. The pretty home was beginning to look old. The bloom of its youth had most improperly faded - for surely a home should never fade - butthere was the boy, a growing delight to his father, so why complain? Better this easy-going lifethan one of domestic contention.Then on a sudden the boy fell ill. The doctor came - shook his head gravely.“You must take him to the sea-shore,” he said. “It is his only chance.”And to the sea-shore they went, leaving the house in charge of the treasures.“I have confidence in you,” said Thaddeus to Jane and Ellen on the morning of the departure, “soI have decided to leave the house open in your care. Mrs. Perkins wants you to keep it as youwould if she were here. Whatever you need to make yourselves comfortable, you may get. Good-bye.”“What a comfort it is,” said Bessie, when they had reached the sea-shore, and were indulging intheir first bit of that woful luxury, homesickness - “what a comfort it is to feel that the girls are thereto look after things! An empty house is such a temptation to thieves.”“Yes,” said Thaddeus. “I hope they won’t entertain too much, though.”“Ellen and Jane are too old for that sort of thing,” Bessie answered.“How about Norah?”“Oh, I forgot to tell you. There was nothing really for Norah to do, so I told her she could go offand stay with her mother on board-wages.”“Good!” said Thaddeus, with a pleased smile. “It isn’t a bad idea to save, particularly when youare staying at the sea-shore.”In this contented frame of mind they lived for several weeks. The boy grew stronger every day,and finally Thaddeus felt that the child was well enough to warrant his running back home for anight, “just to see how things were going.” That the girls were faithful, of course, he did not doubt;the regularity with which letters addressed to him at home - and they were numerous - reachedhim convinced him of that; but the hamper containing the week’s wash, which Ellen and Jane

were to send, and which had been expected on Thursday of the preceding week, had failed foronce to arrive; the boy had worn one dress four days, Thaddeus’s collars were getting low, andaltogether he was just a little uneasy about things. So he availed himself of his opportunity andwent home, taking with him a friend, in consideration of whom he telegraphed ahead to Ellen toprepare a good breakfast, not caring for dinner, since he and his companion expected to dine atthe club and go to the theatre before going out to his home.The result would have been fatal to Bessie’s peace of mind had she heard of it during herabsence from home. But Thaddeus never told her, until it was a matter of ancient history, thatwhen he arrived at home, a little after midnight, he found the place deserted, and was compelledto usher his friend in through the parlor window; that from top to bottom the mansion gaveevidence of not having seen a broom or a dust-brush since the departure of the family; that Janehad not been seen in the neighborhood for one full week - this came from those living onadjoining property; that Ellen had been absent since early that morning, and was not expected toreturn for three days; and, crowning act of infamy, that he, Thaddeus, and his friend werecompelled to breakfast next morning upon a half of a custard pie, a bit mouldy, found by the lordof the manor on the fast-melting remains of a cake of ice in the refrigerator. Whether it wouldhave happened if Thaddeus had not been accompanied by a friend, whose laughter incited himto great deeds, or not I am not prepared to say, but something important did happen. Thaddeusrose to the occasion, and committed an act, and committed it thoroughly. The Thaddeus of old,the meek, long-suffering, too amiable Thaddeus, disappeared. The famous smile was given nochance to play. His wife was absent, and the smile was far away with her. Thaddeus, with onefell blow, burst his fetters and became free.That afternoon, when he had returned to the seaboard, Bessie asked him, “How was the house?”“Beautiful,” said Thaddeus, quite truthfully; for it was.“Did Ellen say anything about the hamper?””“Not a word.“Did you speak to her about it?”“Nope.”“Oh, Teddy! How could you forget it?”To the lasting honor of Thaddeus be it said that he bore up under this unflinchingly.“Did you have a good breakfast, Ted?” Bessie asked, returning to the subject later.“Very,” said Thaddeus, thinking of the hearty meal he and his fellow-sufferer had eaten at theclub after getting back to town. “We had a tomato omelet, coffee, toast, rice cakes, tenderloinsteak, and grits.”“Dear me!” smiled Bessie; she was so glad her Teddy had been so well treated. “All that? Ellenmust have laid herself out.”“Yes,” said Thaddeus; “I think she did.”All the following week Thaddeus seemed to have a load on his mind - a load which he resolutelyrefused to share with his wife - and on Friday he found it necessary to go up to town.“I thought this was your vacation,” remonstrated Bessie.