His Lordship's Leopard - A Truthful Narration of Some Impossible Facts

soos - David Dwight Wells

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113 pages

English

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Publié par	soos
Publié le	08 décembre 2010
Nombre de lectures	66
Langue	English

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The Project Gutenberg EBook of His Lordship's Leopard, by David Dwight Wells This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.net Title: His Lordship's Leopard A Truthful Narration of Some Impossible Facts Author: David Dwight Wells Release Date: January 6, 2010 [EBook #30873] Language: English Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 *** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HIS LORDSHIP'S LEOPARD *** Produced by Annie McGuire. This book was produced from scanned images of public domain material from the Google Print project. HER LADYSHIP'S ELEPHANT By D AVID D WIGHT WELLS. With cover by WM. N ICHOLSON, 10th Impression. 12mo. $1.25. A very humorous story, dealing with English society, growing out of certain experiences of the author while a member of our Embassy in London. The elephant's experiences, also, are based on facts. The Nation: "He is probably funny because he cannot help it.... Again and again excites spontaneous laughter, is such a boon that its author must consent to be regarded as a benefactor of his kind without responsibility." New York Tribune : "Mr. Wells allows his sense of humor to play about the personalities of half a dozen men and women whose lives, for a few brief, extraordinary days, are inextricably intertwined with the life of the aforesaid monarch of the jungle.... Smacks of fun which can be created by clever actors placed in excruciatingly droll situations." Philadelphia Times: "As breezy a bit of fiction as the reading public has lately been offered. Amusing from the first page to the last, unique in conception, and absolutely uproarious in plot." New York Commercial Advertiser : "A really delicious chain of absurdities which are based upon American independence and impudence; ... exceedingly amusing." Outlook : "Full of amusing situations." Buffalo Express: "So amusing is the book that the reader is almost too tired to laugh when the elephant puts in his appearance." HENRY HOLT & CO. New York. HIS LORDSHIP'S LEOPARD A TRUTHFUL NARRATION OF SOME IMPOSSIBLE FACTS BY DAVID DWIGHT WELLS Author of "Her Ladyship's Elephant" NEW YORK HENRY HOLT AND COMPANY 1900 Copyright, 1900, BY HENRY HOLT & CO. WARNING! The ensuing work is a serious attempt to while away an idle hour. The best criticism that the author received of "Her Ladyship's Elephant" was from an old lady who wrote him that it had made her forget a toothache; the most discouraging, from a critic who approached the book as serious literature and treated it according to the standards of the higher criticism . The author takes this occasion to state that he has never been guilty of writing literature, serious or otherwise, and that if any one considers this book a fit subject for the application of the higher criticism, he will treat it as a just ground for an action for libel. for an action for libel. If the minimum opus possesses an intrinsic value, it lies in the explanation of the whereabouts of a Spanish gunboat, which, during our late unpleasantness with Spain, the yellow journalists insisted was patrolling the English Channel, in spite of the fact that the U. S. Board of Strategy knew that every available ship belonging to that nation was better employed somewhere else. Should this exposé ruffle another English see, so much the worse for the Bishop. CONTENTS. PART I. AMERICA. CHAPTER I. IN WHICH C ECIL B ANBOROUGH A CHIEVES FAME, AND THE "D AILY LEADER" A "S COOP" CHAPTER II. IN WHICH C ECIL B ANBOROUGH A TTEMPTS TO D RIVE PUBLIC OPINION CHAPTER III. IN WHICH C ECIL B ANBOROUGH D RIVES A B LACK MARIA CHAPTER IV. IN WHICH THE B LACK MARIA R ECEIVES A N EW INMATE CHAPTER V. IN WHICH THE PARTY R ECEIVES A N EW IMPETUS CHAPTER VI. IN WHICH THE B ISHOP OF B LANFORD R ECEIVES A B LACK EYE CHAPTER VII. IN WHICH A LINE IS D RAWN AND C ROSSED CHAPTER VIII. IN WHICH A LOCKET IS A CCEPTED AND A R ING R EFUSED PART II. ENGLAND. CHAPTER I. IN WHICH MRS. MACKINTOSH A DMIRES JONAH CHAPTER II. IN WHICH THE ENEMY A RRIVES CHAPTER III. IN WHICH PEACE IS PROPOSED AND WAR D ECLARED CHAPTER IV. IN WHICH THE B ISHOP IS A BDUCTED CHAPTER V. IN WHICH THE B ISHOP EATS JAM TART, AND MISS MATILDA H UMBLE-PIE CHAPTER VI. IN WHICH MISS A RMINSTER PROPOSES TO MARRY A GAIN CHAPTER VII. IN WHICH MISS A RMINSTER VERIFIES THE PROVERB PART I. AMERICA. [Pg 3] CHAPTER I. IN WHICH CECIL BANBOROUGH ACHIEVES FAME AND THE "DAILY LEADER" A "SCOOP." Cecil Banborough stood at one of the front windows of a club which faced on Fifth Avenue, his hands in his pockets, and a cigarette in his mouth, idly watching the varied life of the great thoroughfare. He had returned to the city that morning after a two weeks' absence in the South, and, having finished his lunch, was wondering how he could manage to put in the time till the 4:30 express left for Meadowbrook. 2 P.M., he reflected ruefully, was an hour when New York had no use and no resources for men of leisure like himself. Yet even for a mere onlooker the panorama of the street was of unusual interest. The avenue was ablaze with bunting, which hurrying thousands pointed out to their companions, while every street-corner had its little group of citizens, discussing with feverish energy and gestures of ill-concealed disquietude the situation of which the gay flags were the outward and visible sign. For in these latter days of April, 1898, a first-class Republic had, from purely philanthropic motives, announced its intention of licking a third-rate Monarchy into the way it should go. Whereat the good citizens had flung broadcast their national emblem to express a patriotic enthusiasm they did not feel, while the wiser heads among them were already whispering that the war was not merely unjustifiable, but might be expensive. All these matters, important as they doubtless were, did not interest Cecil Banborough, and indeed were quite dwarfed by the fact that this uncalled-for war had diverted the press from its natural functions, and for the time being had thrown utterly into the shade his new sensational novel, "The Purple Kangaroo." His meditations were, however, interrupted by the sound of voices using perfectly good English, but with an accent which bespoke a European parentage. "'The Purple Kangaroo,'" said one. "It is sufficiently striking—Si, Señor ?" "It serves the purpose well, mi amigo," replied the other. "It is, as you say, striking; indeed nothing better could be devised; while its reputation—" And the voices died away. Cecil swung rapidly round. Two gentlemen, slight, swarthy, and evidently of a Latin race, were moving slowly down the long drawing-room. They were foreigners certainly, Spaniards possibly, but they had spoken of his book in no modified terms of praise. He drew a little sigh of satisfied contentment and turned again to the street. Ah, if his father, the Bishop of Blanford, could have heard! The two foreigners had meanwhile continued their conversation, though out of earshot. The elder was speaking. "As you say, its reputation is so slight," he said, "one of those ephemeral productions that are forgotten in a day, that it will serve our purpose well. We must have a password—the less noticeable the better. When do you return to Washington?" "The Legation may be closed at any moment now," replied the younger, seating himself carelessly on the arm of a Morris chair, "and I may be wanted. I go this afternoon, a dios y a ventura ." "Softly; not so loud." [Pg 6] [Pg 4] [Pg 5] "There's no one to hear. Keep us informed, I say. I'll see to the rest. We've our secret lines of communication nearly complete. They may turn us out of their capital, but—we shall know what passes. Carramba! What is that?" For, in leaning back, the speaker had come against an unresisting body. Springing up and turning quickly round, he saw that the chair on the arm of which he had been sitting was already occupied by the slumbering form of a youngish man with clear-cut features and a voluminous golden moustache. "Madre de Dios! Could he have heard?" exclaimed the younger man, moving away. "Malhaya! No!" replied the other. "These pigs of Americanos who sleep at noonday hear nothing! Come!" And, casting a glance of concentrated contempt at the huddled-up figure, he put his arm through that of his companion, and together they left the room. A moment later the sleeper sat up, flicked a speck of dust off his coat-sleeve, and, diving into a pocket, produced a note-book and blue pencil and began to write rapidly. Evidently his occupation was a pleasant one, for a broad smile illumined his face. "Ah, Marchmont," said Banborough, coming towards him, "didn't know you'd waked up." "Was I asleep?" "Rather. Don't suppose you saw those Spanish Dons who went out just now?" "Spaniards?" queried Marchmont, with a preoccupied air. "What about 'em?" "Oh, nothing in particular, only I supposed that a Spaniard to a yellow journalist was like a red rag to a bull. You should make them into copy—'Conspiracy in a Fifth Avenue Club,' etc." "Thanks," said the other, "so I might. Valuable suggestion." And he returned his note-book to his pocket. "They did me a good turn, anyway," resumed Banborough. "They were talking about my book—thought it would serve its purpose, was very striking, said nothing better could be devised; and they were foreigners, too. I tell you what it is, Marchmont, the public will wake up to the merits of 'The Purple Kangaroo' some day. Why doesn't the Daily Leader notice it?" "My dear Cecil, give me the space and I'll write a critique the fulsome flattery of which will come up to even your exacting demands. But just at present we're so busy arousing popular enthusiasm that we really haven't time." "You never do have time," replied Banborough, a trifle petulantly, "except for sleeping after lunch." "Ah, that's all in the day's wor