Horrible Bosses

Written by

Michael Markowitz

April 14, 2010

FADE IN:

1 INT. NICK'S APARTMENT - LATE NIGHT 1

Looking incredibly weary, NICK WATERS, 30's, enters his apartment in his business suit. He stumbles into --

2 INT. NICK'S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS ACTION 2

He drops his briefcase, strips off his jacket, loosens his tie and collapses onto the bed like a dead man. PAN OVER TO the alarm clock which reads "1:23 AM."

MATCH CUT TO:

3 INT. NICK'S BEDROOM - EARLY MORNING 3

The alarm clock now reads "4:59 AM." It switches to "5:00" and a BLARING BUZZER goes off. Nick sits up in bed, shuts off the buzzer and painfully forces himself out of bed. He hurries out of the bedroom, passing the saddest, deadest houseplant in history.

4 INT. NICK'S KITCHEN - MOMENTS LATER 4

Nick opens his fridge to reveal a wasteland of moldy leftover containers and crusty condiments. The orange juice container he grabs is empty.

He opens the freezer. It contains nothing but multiple boxes of "Jimmy Dean's Breakfast Bowl -- with Bacon!" He pops one in the microwave, then glances over at a framed photo of a slightly younger Nick kissing a smiling OLD WOMAN on the cheek. The frame reads: "I Y Grandma!" Nick sighs sadly.

5 INT. NICK'S BATHROOM - MINUTES LATER 5

Nick sits on the toilet eating his breakfast bowl with a fork. He takes some toilet paper from the roll and wipes his mouth with it.

6 INT. NICK'S SHOWER - MOMENTS LATER 6

Nick showers while simultaneously brushing his teeth and shaving. He loses track and brushes his face with the toothbrush. 2.

7 INT. NICK'S BEDROOM - MOMENTS LATER 7

Nick hastily grabs work clothes from his messy drawers and closet. Clearly, no laundry has been done in a while.

8 INT. NICK'S APARTMENT ELEVATOR - MOMENTS LATER 8

Nick hurriedly buttons his shirt, tucks it in and begins tying his tie as the elevator reaches the lobby.

9 INT. NICK'S CAR - SHORT TIME LATER 9

As he drives to work, he dials a number and transfers it to speakerphone.

(CONTINUED) 3. 9 CONTINUED: 9

She hangs up.

10 EXT. COMMTRONIX INDUSTRIES - SHORT TIME LATER 10

A soulless four-story building in a drab office park. Nick exits his car and runs full-speed to the entrance.

11 INT. COMMTRONIX INDUSTRIES LOBBY - CONTINUOUS ACTION 11

Nick bursts through the doors and looks at his watch. It reads "6:02." He looks up at a security camera with a flashing red light, indicating he is on tape.

DISSOLVE TO:

12 INT. NICK'S CUBICLE - LATER 12

Nick sits at his desk inputting information from a large PILE of documents into a spreadsheet on his computer. The clock on his computer turns to "8:00 AM."

Nick jumps, startled. He turns to see his boss, DAVE HARKEN, 40's, standing behind him.

of the lobby security camera footage on a television. The time code at the bottom of the screen reads "6:02." We see Nick looking up at the camera and silently mouthing the word "Fuck!" The image freezes and we PULL BACK to see Harken holding the remote. Nick stands across from him.

There's an uncomfortable beat. Then --

Harken picks up the phone.

(CONTINUED) 5. 13 CONTINUED: 13

He glances at a framed photo on his desk.

14 INSERT - PHOTO 14

of the hot, bikini-clad MRS. HARKEN, 30's, standing on a beach.

15 BACK TO SCENE 15

(CONTINUED) 6. 15 CONTINUED: 15

Harken has crossed to a credenza with several bottles of booze, two glasses and an ice bucket. He begins to fill a glass with ice and Scotch.

Harken hands him the drink he just poured.

Harken returns to his chair and sits.

Nick gets up to go.

Nick turns back.

Nick, unsure of what to do, picks up the glass and gulps it down.

(CONTINUED) 8. 15 CONTINUED: (3) 15

16 EXT. DENTAL OFFICE - DAY 16

A car pulls up outside the modest building.

17 INT. STACY'S CAR - CONTINUOUS ACTION 17

STACY, cute, 30's, is dropping off DALE STEVENS, 30's, who wears the scrubs of a dental hygienist.

18 CLOSE ON HER ENGAGEMENT DIAMOND 18

It's tiny and yellowish.

19 BACK TO SCENE 19

They kiss. Dale exits the car.

20 EXT. DENTAL OFFICE - CONTINUOUS ACTION 20

Stacy drives off. Dale steels himself for what lies ahead, then goes inside.

21 INT. DENTAL OFFICE - MOMENTS LATER 21

Dale enters the waiting room, passing a few PATIENTS. He grabs a mask and goggles from a supply room, then heads INTO -- 9.

22 INT. EXAMINATION ROOM - CONTINUOUS ACTION 22

Dale finds his boss, DR. JULIA HARRIS, 30's, sexy but with something a little off, hovering over a patient, MR. ANDERTON, 50's. Dale seems visibly uneasy.

Dale turns the valve on the tank and soon Mr. Anderton's eyes roll back in his head. Julia shuts the door, picks up a drill and begins boring into the patient's molar.

Dale hands her a tool.

(CONTINUED) 10. 22 CONTINUED: 22

Dale sighs and looks down at the unconscious Mr. Anderton. This obviously isn't the first time Julia has spoken this way.

He hands her the tool.

She lifts the patient's limp hand and cups it over her breast.

She smacks the lifeless hand and cackles with laughter.

(CONTINUED) 11. 22 CONTINUED: (2) 22

Dale hands her the Water Jet tool. Julia briefly sprays some water in the patient's mouth, then casually sprays down Dale's crotch with it.

Julia's whole demeanor changes. She becomes deadly serious.