Wonderful Ways to Love a Teen, livre ebook

Parent Teenagers in Loving and Thoughtful Ways

“A source of lovingly gentle perspective with powerful relationship saving tools that every parent of teenagers should have to refer back to”—Becca Anderson, Bestselling Author of Badass Affirmations

Even when your relationship appears hopelessly beyond repair, you can reach past the bad days and reconnect. In this funny parenting book, find guidance on how to parent teenagers and rebuild a loving bond.Learn healthy parenting habits. When it comes to parenting teenagers, there can be a lot of highs and lows. Some days teens are hard to understand but there are many ways to make the teen years easier for both you and your child. In Wonderful Ways to Love a Teen, learn how to parent teenagers with love, respect, and a positive mental attitude. Love them through this season. Author and licensed clinical social worker Judy Ford offers honest and valuable advice to parents who feel depleted when it comes to their relationship with their teen. With gentle wisdom and a healthy dose of good humor, Ford guides parents and teenagers through one of the most difficult times in parenting. Learn how to shift the focus from the hardships and the mishaps to the joys and heartfelt moments.Inside this parenting teens book, you’ll find:

• Easy-to-follow advice for how to parent teenagers
• Powerful and poignant examples from true life stories and examples
• A how-to guide for loving your teens, even when it feels impossible

If you liked Untangled, The Connected Parent, or Parenting Teens with Love and Logic, you’ll love Wonderful Ways to Love a Teen.

When I mentioned to people that I was writing a sequel to Wonderful Ways to Love a Child called Wonderful Ways to Love a Teen, they rolled their eyes and said, “We sure can use that book!” or they would laugh, shake their heads in disbelief, and ask, “Is it possible?”

Then I would ask them, “Do you love your teenager?” And without exception these very same people would answer, “Yes, of course!” And as they complained about their son or daughter, I’d see a sparkle in their eye and an undefined grace softening their face. As a cab driver in Dallas, the father of two teenage girls, said, “They are the spring in my step.”

In my years of counseling and teaching, I’ve talked with thousands of parents who love their teenagers but aren’t sure how to show it. They want to have a positive relationship but they’re uncertain of their role, and they wonder if their teenager still needs them. And because they don’t know what to do, misunderstandings pile up, hurt and anger accumulate, and the distance between parent and child grows.

The idea that teenagers are impossible to talk to, live with, and relate to has become so commonplace that we adults start to believe and act as if it’s so. The myth of the difficult teenage years is perpetuated over and over until everyone believes that all teenagers are difficult all the time. It just isn’t so.

The teenage years run smoothly and joyously for some parents, whereas others find them impossible. Some parents savor every minute with their teenagers, knowing they’ll soon be gone. Others find it so arduous to relate that they throw in the towel and withdraw—counting the days until their teenager moves out. Some parents find the relationship with their teenager so fulfilling—not only because they’re learning the art of finesse and tact, but because the house is so lively—that there’s excitement in the air. Still others resort to threats, punishment, and authoritarian rule to avoid relating.

Often, it seems that our teenagers do not want our love. The truth is that they do, but in a new way. However difficult it may feel sometimes, I am convinced that it is always better to strive for a conscious relationship with your teen—even during those times when you wonder if you’re being stretched beyond your capabilities. That’s because I truly believe—based on my own experience and my work with hundreds of parents—that if relating to your teenager is impossible, it’s because you don’t have the tools. Once you gain the tools, a relationship with a teenager is no more difficult than any other relationship. For the truth is that the teenage stage of life is no more difficult than any other stage of life; it just takes new skills.

Wonderful Ways to Love a Teen is a handbook of tools to guide you in the art of relating to your teenager. Even when your parent/teen relationship appears hopelessly beyond repair, you can follow its suggestions to help you rebuild a loving bond.

Contents

The Art of Relating

Serenity
Expect the Unexpected
Laugh About Inconsistencies
Choose Power Struggles Wisely
Take Time to Unwind
Give Them Reasons to Be Proud of You
Remember Your Own Feelings as a Teenager
See Beyond the Obvious
Be Still and Smile
Willingly Make Up
Respond with an Open Heart
Accept Changes Graciously
Add a Splash of Pizzazz to Your Own Life
Accentuate What Is Truly Meaningful
By Your Own Example, Teach Them to Pray
Treasure Being Together as a Family
Do the Best You Can
Ask for Input About the Toughies
Encourage Role Models
Become a Mentor
Expand Your Vision for Our Children

Spirit
Try the Playful Approach
Have Exciting Conversations
Consider Their Point of View
Share Your Perspective
Provide Adventures
Include Lots of Friends
Make Room for the Blues
Show Wholehearted Interest Without Taking Over
Find New Ways to Be Together
Celebrate the Milestones
Carry on Family Traditions
Bring on the Blaring Music
Allow for Lots of Privacy
Carefully Avoid Embarrassing Them
Build a Bond of Camaraderie
Encourage Activities to Let Off Steam
Guide Them Toward Their Passion
Honor Their Wild, Strong, and Free Nature
Let Them Burn the Midnight Oil
Share the Car
Find Healthy Ways to Be High
Take Every Opportunity to Hang Out
Security
Believe in Them Totally
Admire Who They Are, as They Are
Behave Respectfully
Let Them Learn by Experience
Have Faith in Their Ability to Find Solutions
Plant the Seeds of Suggestions
Stand Back and Watch Them Grow
Admit When You’re Angry
Refine the Knack of Arguing
Be Sensitive to Their Struggles
Acknowledge Their Choices
Handle the Unmentionables
Include Them in Your Life
Truthfully Share Your Life Stories
Negotiate, Negotiate
Let Them Know You Care
Establish Guidelines That Inspire
Alert Them Gently to Consequences
Face Problems Squarely
Be Genuine with Praise
Teach Them to Be Good to Themselves
Give a Choice in Their Day-to-day Lives
Allow Them to Practice Taking Charge
Trust and Trust Again
Remember That Teenagers Are Fragile, Too
Stand Back and Gain Perspective
Bravely Let Go

Resource Guide