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Baker Publishing Group - Paul Coughlin , PhD Degler Jennifer D.

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104 pages

English

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When passivity and false niceness don't bring the abundant life Jesus promised, some Christian women try even harder to hide behind a fragile façade of pleasant perfection. Paul Coughlin and Jennifer Degler give women the empowering message that they have options far beyond simply acting nice or being mean--if they will emulate the real Jesus Christ and face their fears of conflict, rejection, and criticism. Brimming with enlightening information, thought-provoking questionnaires, real-life stories, and biblically based teaching from both the male author of the pioneering No More Christian Nice Guy and a female clinical psychologist, this book will motivate women to allow God to transform them into authentic, powerful women of loving faith.

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Publié par	Baker Publishing Group
Date de parution	01 mai 2010
Nombre de lectures	0
EAN13	9781441212085
Langue	English

Informations légales : prix de location à la page 0,0461€. Cette information est donnée uniquement à titre indicatif conformément à la législation en vigueur.

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NO MORE CHRISTIAN NICE GIRL
Books by
Paul Coughlin
FROM BETHANY HOUSE PUBLISHERS

Five Secrets Great Dads Know
Married . . . But Not Engaged (with Sandy Coughlin)
No More Christian Nice Girl (with Jennifer Degler, PhD)
No More Christian Nice Guy
No More Christian Nice Guy Study Guide
No More Jellyfish, Chickens, or Wimps
Unleashing Courageous Faith

No More Christian Nice Girl Copyright 2010 Coughlin Ministries, Inc. and Jennifer Degler
Cover design by Andrea Boven Nelson
Unless otherwise identified, Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible, New International Version . NIV . Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com
Scripture quotations identified NASB are taken from the NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE, Copyright The Lockman Foundation 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995. Used by permission. www.lockman.org
Scripture quotations identified NLT are from the Holy Bible , New Living Translation, copyright 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
Scripture quotations identified CEV are from the Contemporary English Version . Copyright American Bible Society 1995. Used by permission.
Scripture quotations identified WENT are taken from THE JESUS BOOK-The Bible in Worldwide English. Copyright SOON Educational Publications, Derby DE65 6BN, UK. Used by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means-electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise-without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
Published by Bethany House Publishers 11400 Hampshire Avenue South Bloomington, Minnesota 55438 www.bethanyhouse.com
Bethany House Publishers is a division of Baker Publishing Group, Grand Rapids, Michigan. www.bakerpublishinggroup.com
E-book edition created 2011
ISBN 978-1-4412-1208-5
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.
The internet addresses, email addresses, and phone numbers in this book are accurate at the time of publication. They are provided as a resource. Baker Publishing Group does not endorse them or vouch for their content or permanence.
Dedication
To Ellen Friesen, who has shown Sandy and me, today and forever, what God s Good Woman really is. Thank you for your inspiring love, friendship, strength, and courage. May our daughter live up to her namesake.
-Paul
To my Balcony Women: Rebecca Mackey, Annette Bartle, Beth Degler, Carla Gassett, and Josie Degler.
-Jennifer
PAUL COUGHLIN is a former newspaper editor and is the author of numerous books. He is the founder of The Protectors, which provides values-based and faith-based solutions to the cruelty of adolescent bullying. A popular speaker at men s, women s, parenting, and anti-bullying conferences, he has appeared on Good Morning America, Nightline, 700 Club, Focus on the Family, C-SPAN, Los Angeles Times, The New York Times, Newsweek, and other media outlets. His anti-bullying curriculum is used throughout North America as well as England, Canada, Australia, Uganda, and South Africa. He is a frequent radio guest in Cork, Ireland.
Paul is the Boys Varsity Soccer Coach at St. Mary s School, where he was voted Coach of the Year, and where he is also a member of the Board of Directors. He is a member of the Southern Oregon Leadership Team for SMART: Start Making A Reader Today. He and his wife, Sandy, have three teenagers and live in southern Oregon. www.PaulCoughlin.net
JENNIFER DEGLER, PhD, is a clinical psychologist and life coach. A frequent speaker at women s events and marriage retreats, Jennifer is known for her entertaining and engaging presentations that make audiences laugh while they learn. She counsels adults, youth, and couples at the Interfaith Counseling Center in central Kentucky. She has served as the Ethics Chair for the Kentucky Psychological Association and is a member of the American Association of Christian Counselors.
Jennifer is the founder of Creating Christian Change, a life coaching enterprise that works with clients across the country helping them to create lives they love ( www.JenniferDegler.com ). She has appeared on television, radio, and in print as an expert in life coaching, mental health, and female sexuality. She is also the creator of CWIVES, a Web site devoted to helping Christian wives understand and enhance their sexuality ( www.cwives.com ). She and her husband, Jeff, have two teenagers and live in Lexington, Kentucky.
Acknowledgments
From Paul
Thank you to Sandy Coughlin, Barb Wiedenbeck, Janet Grant, Kortland Fuqua, Dennis Hughett Jr., Traylor Lovvorn, Rick Johnson, Jeff Anderson, Ray Huett, Tina Dupree, Jeff Rush, Steve Weydert, Kelly Wieber, and Anni Jones.
From Jennifer
Thank you to the following for their invaluable support and inspiration:
Annette and Matt Bartle; Beth, Kevin, Ken, and Pat Degler; Angie and Daniel Mackey; Carla and John Gassett; Pam Seales, Rick Landon, and the therapists and clients of the Interfaith Counseling Center; Janet Grant; the Camping Buddies (satisfied?); Debi Stack; the WOW class; the Abbey of Gethsemani; J-CURP; my prayer team; and the Bethany House team, including Kyle Duncan, Julie Smith, Brett Benson, Tim Peterson, Amanda Hall, and our insightful editor, Ellen Chalifoux.
A special thank you to:
My mom, Rebecca Mackey, for the many hours she spent categorizing the verses that demonstrate the firmer side of Jesus.
My wonderful children, Josie and Jake, and my best friend and husband, Jeff Degler.
Contents Introduction Frustrated, Fearful, and Fake: Meet Nicole, Christian Nice Girl Chapter 1 The One-Sided Jesus: Sanctified Sweetness Chapter 2 Social and Cultural Pressures: Sugar and Spice and How We Learned to Act Nice Chapter 3 Harmful Childhood Experiences: Sifted Sugar Chapter 4 Nice vs. Good: How Does God Prefer His Women? Chapter 5 Friendships and Family: How Nice Wrecks Your Relationships Chapter 6 Dating: How Nice Attracts Mr. Wrong Chapter 7 Marriage: How Nice Messes Up Matrimony Chapter 8 Sex: How Nice Steals Your Spice Chapter 9 Work: How Nice Cripples Your Career Chapter 10 The Journey From Christian Nice Girl to God s Good Woman Appendix A Not So Nice Jesus in the Gospels Appendix B Abuse in Marriage Notes
INTRODUCTION
Frustrated, Fearful, and Fake: Meet Nicole, Christian Nice Girl
Hold on! you might say in response to this book s title. Why would any Christian woman in her right mind want to stop being nice? Well, meet Nicole, a Christian Nice Girl (CNG), and slip into the passenger s seat of her life for one day. Be sure to buckle up, because when a CNG is driving, things get bumpy very fast. Life always does when a woman chooses to be nice instead of good .
CNG Nicole
BEEP, BEEP, BEEP! As the alarm clock blares, Nicole hits the Snooze button, hoping to steal a few more minutes of precious sleep. Why am I so tired? she wonders before remembering she spent her third late night in a row finishing her sister s taxes and her son s science fair project. After stumbling to the shower for a speedy shampoo, Nicole wraps herself in a towel and wipes the steamy mirror. Look at those suitcases under my eyes! Time to spackle on the concealer.
Nicole checks the clock, groans, and pokes her head out of the bathroom. David, will you get the kids moving and pack lunches? I m running late, and I still need to blow-dry my hair.
Yeah, I ve got time this morning, but honey, you overslept again because you re doing too much, David replies.
The telephone interrupts their conversation. David checks the caller ID. It s Pam, and she s sure to have a problem. If you answer the phone, sweetheart, you ll be late for work.
Guilt, her constant companion, sours Nicole s stomach as she considers David s words. Ignoring Pam s call would feel like breaking the eleventh commandment: Thou shalt not say no even if thou art running late.
David, I m trying to be a good Christian witness for Pam. I ll make it brief.
As David shakes his head in disbelief and heads off to wake their children, Nicole hears him mutter, Even Jesus gave people a dose of Vitamin No sometimes.
Nicole picks up the phone, hair dripping, bra straps twisted like swizzle sticks, already dreading how hard it would be to end the call quickly and still sound nice.
Hello.
Hi, Nicole. Listen, I know it s early, but my ex-husband and I argued last night about where the kids should go for spring break, and I need to vent.
Well, I guess I can talk now, fibs Nicole.
She cradles the phone on her shoulder while pulling clothes out of her closet and listening with half an ear to Pam s story. She feels like a circus performer tied up in knots as she attempts to get her panty hose on without dropping the phone. Nicole s relief at having this task accomplished vanishes as her daughter comes into the bedroom and says, Mom, you said you would quiz me on my French vocab before school. Here s my list.
Nicole covers the phone with her hand, pastes on a fake smile, and whispers to Heather, I m talking with Pam right now. Ask your dad.
But you said you would, and besides, Dad s making Tyler s lunch. You know, it s almost time to leave and your hair is still wet. And did you know your panty hose have a big run?
I don t have time for this! Can t you see I m busy? snaps Nicole. No, no, Pam, I wasn t talking to you. I m so sorry. Go ahead: What were you saying? Nicole motions her daughter out of the bedroom.
Heather frowns, heads for the door, and mumbles, Why do you always have time to help everyone but me?
Hearing the resentment in her daughter s voice worsens the sick feeling in Nicole s stomach. At this rate, she s going to need a stiff sho