Being a Ballerina, livre ebook

Finalist, the Arts Club of Washington Marfield Prize

A look inside a dancer’s world

Inspiring, revealing, and deeply relatable, Being a Ballerina is a firsthand look at the realities of life as a professional ballet dancer. Through episodes from her own career, Gavin Larsen describes the forces that drive a person to study dance; the daily balance that dancers navigate between hardship and joy; and the dancer’s continual quest to discover who they are as a person and as an artist.

Starting with her arrival as a young beginner at a class too advanced for her, Larsen tells how the embarrassing mistake ended up helping her learn quickly and advance rapidly. In other stories of her early teachers, training, and auditions, she explains how she gradually came to understand and achieve what she and her body were capable of.

Larsen then re-creates scenes from her experiences in dance companies, from unglamorous roles to exhilarating performances. Working as a ballerina was shocking and scary at first, she says, recalling unexpected injuries, leaps of faith, and her constant struggle to operate at the level she wanted—but full of enormously rewarding moments. Larsen also reflects candidly on her difficult decision to retire at age 35.

An ideal read for aspiring dancers, Larsen’s memoir will also delight experienced dance professionals and fascinate anyone who wonders what it takes to live a life dedicated to the perfection of the art form.

Preface

PART 1

1. The Eight-Year-Old, Part 1: The New York School of Ballet

2. How to Be a Ballerina, Part 1

3. The Eight-Year-Old, Part 2: The Greek

4. How to Be a Ballerina, Part 2

5. The Triple

6. How to Be a Ballerina, Part 3

7. The Eleven-Year-Old, Part 1: The Audition

8. The Eleven-Year-Old, Part 2: Madame Dudin

9. How to Be a Ballerina, Part 4

10. The First Nutcracker

11. Waving Goodbye

12. Detective Work

13. Stretching

14. The Fifteen-Year-Old and Mr. Rapp

15. The Sixteen-Year-Old’s Epiphany, Part 1

16. The Sixteen-Year-Old’s Epiphany, Part 2

17. Tumey

18. Making Shapes

19. Crumpled

20. Turning Point

PART 2

21. The Summer of 1992

22. Chateau Ste. Michelle: My Big Break

23. Making a Living Being Tired

24. Ballerina Doll

25. Orange

26. Cinderella

27. Rejected

28. Glace Bay

29. Vertigo, Part 1

30. The Rib-Cracking Episode

31. “You Were the Music”

32. Boo Hoo, Jeremy Denk

33. Suzanne

34. Places

35. Quivering

36. I Think I Was Perfect, Once

37. Henry’s Living Room

38. The Fourth Wall

39. Big Hair

40. Theaters Are Mysterious Places

41. Into the Night

42. A Prayer

43. Curtain In

44. Helena

45. “I’ve Never Heard You Make a Noise Like That”

46. The Human Monolith

47. A Conversation with My Feet

48. My Little Toe

49. The Millionth Nutcracker

50. No Tights

51. The Highest Note

52. Vertigo, Part 2

53. Scarred

54. A Boyfriend and a Cat

55. Precision, Perfection, and Mistakes

56. Final Curtain

57. The Drive Home

Afterword: The Time I Taught Someone Something

Acknowledgments

Appendix 1. Meeting My Maker

Appendix 2. How to . . .

Appendix 3. Places I’ve Performed