Come Back, livre ebook

COME BACK A NOVEL SKY GILBERT for Ian “My desire has invented new desires, my body knows unheard-of songs.” — Hélène Cixous, The Laugh of the Medusa Y es, I am aware that I should, perhaps, not go there. Even as I write, the word sentiment — or rather sentimentality — comes up like yesterday’s dinner. Please believe me that there is no urge on my part to go back. It is long gone and I don’t give a flying fuck. So I am slipping into my previous nomenclature. But I don’t — I really don’t — give a damn about any of it. Do you think I want to go back? When I think for a moment, it all returns. Like a flood, yes, but one I can control. I see you, in my mind’s eye, sitting there, smiling, looking satiric. When? When was it that I suggested something you considered very outrageous, and you said, “It seems that you have temporarily lost your mind”? And then you went on in that vein. You know, my darling, I wish you were not so ruled by your loins. Is it that? You claim it is. Of course, Johnny. But sometimes I think it is your heart, because that is the way we think of women — and you are one. But still. Let’s just say it has nothing to do with being a woman. We both know that men too are puddles, and can dissolve even without menstruating. Remember when you stopped menstruating? I do. You dove into bodybuilding with your usual innocent bravado — no reservations whatsoever.