The Station; The Party Fight And Funeral; The Lough Derg Pilgrim - Traits And Stories Of The Irish Peasantry, The Works of - William Carleton, Volume Three

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Title: The Station; The Party Fight And Funeral; Th e Lough Derg Pilgrim  Traits And Stories Of The Irish Peasantry, T he Works of  William Carleton, Volume Three
Author: William Carleton
Illustrator: M. L. Flanery
Release Date: June 7, 2005 [EBook #16013]
Language: English
Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE STATI ON AND OTHERS ***
Produced by David Widger
THE WORKS OF WILLIAM CARLETON
VOLUME III.
TRAITS AND STORIES OF THE IRISH PEASANTRY
PART II.
CONTENTS
THE STATION.
THE PARTY FIGHT AND FUNERAL.
"On Monday, in Jack Gallagher's of Corraghnamoddagh. Are you there, Jack?"
THE LOUGH DERG PILGRIM.
"Never fear, yer Reverence, never fear; I think you ought to know that the grazin' at Corraghnamoddagh's not bad."
"To do you justice, Jack, the mutton was always good with you, only if you
"Why, then, Jack, there's something ominous—something auspicious—to happen, or we wouldn't have you here; for it's very seldom that you make part or parcel of thispresentseldom are you here, Jack, it must be congregation; confessed: however, you know the old classical proverb, or if you don't, I do, which will just answer as well—Non semper ridet Apollo—it's not every day Manuskills a bullock; so, as you are here, be prepared for us on Monday."
"Take notice, that the Stations for the following week will be held as follows:—
Page 763— Usually Stood, Shaking at Us his Rod
Page 756— They Set Off, Whip and Spur, at Full Speed
Page 818— In This Trim Did I Return to My Friends
"To the fore, yer Reverence."
Frontispiece
List of Illustrations
THE STATION.
Titlepage
Our readers are to suppose the Reverend Philemy M'Guirk, parish priest of Tir-neer, to be standing upon the altar of the chapel, facing the congregation, after having gone through the canon of the Mass; and having nothing more of the service to perform, than the usual prayers with which he closes the ceremony.
would get it better killed it would be an improvement. Get Tom McCusker to kill it, and then it'll have the right smack."
"Very well, yer Rev'rence, I'll do it."
"On Tuesday, in Peter Murtagh's of the Crooked Commons. Are you there, Peter?"
"Here, yer Reverence."
"Indeed, Peter, I might know you are here; and I wish that a great many of my flock would take example by you: if they did, I wouldn't be so far behind in getting in mydues. Well, Peter, I suppose you know that this is Michaelmas?"*
 * Michaelmas is here jocularly alluded to as t hat period  of the year when geese are fattest.
"So fat, yer Reverence, that they're not able to wag; but, any way, Katty has them marked for you—two fine young crathurs, only this year's fowl, and the ducks isn't a taste behind them—she crammin' them this month past."
"I believe you, Peter, and I would take your word for more than the condition of the geese. Remember me to Katty, Peter."
"On Wednesday, in Parrah More Slevin's of Mullaghfadh. Are you there, Parrah More?"—No answer. "Parrah More Sle-vin?"—Silence. "Parrah More Slevin, of Mullaghfadh?"—No reply. "Dan Fagan?"
"Present, sir."
"Do you know what keeps that reprobate from mass?"
"I bleeve he's takin' advantage, sir, of the frost, to get in his praties to-day, in respect of the bad footin', sir, for the horses in the bog when there's not a frost. Any how, betune that and a bit of a sore head that he got, yer Reverence, on Thursday last in takin' part wid the O'Scallaghans agin the Bradys, I bleeve he had to stay away to-day."
"On the Sabbath day, too, without my leave! Well, tell him from me, that I'll make an example of him to the whole parish, if he doesn't attend mass better. Will the Bradys and the O'Scallaghans never be done with their quarrelling? I protest, if they don't live like Christians, I'll read them out from the altar. Will you tell Parrah More that I'll hold a station in his house on next Wednesday?"
"I will, sir; I will, yer Reverence."
"On Thursday, in Phaddhy Sheemus Phaddhy's of the Esker Phaddhy?"'
"Wid the help of God, I'm here, sir."
. Are you there,
"Well, Phaddhy, how is yer son Briney, that's at the Latin? I hope he's coming on well at it."
"Why, sir, he's not more nor a year and a half at it yet, and he's got more books amost nor he can carry; he'll break me buying books for him."
"Well, that's a good sign, Phaddhy; but why don't you bring him to me till I examine him?"
"Why, never a one of me can get him to come, sir, he's so much afeard of yer
Reverence."
"Well, Phaddhy, we were once modest and bashful ourselves, and I'm glad to hear that he's afraid of his clargy; but let him be prepared for me on Thursday, and maybe I'll let him know something he never heard before; I'll open his eyes for him."
"Do you hear that, Briney?" said the father, aside to the son, who knelt at his knee; "you must give up yer hurling and idling now, you see. Thank yer Reverence; thank you, docthor."
"On Friday, in Barny O'Darby's, alias Barny Butters. Are you there, Barny?"
"All that's left of me is here, sir."
"Well, Barny, how is the butter trade this season?"
"It's a little on the rise, now, sir: in a, month or so I'm expecting it will be brisk enough. Boney, sir, is doing that much for us anyway."
"Ay, and, Barny, he'll do more than that for us: God prosper him at all events; I only hope the time's coming, Barny, when every one will be able to eat his own butter, and his own beef, too."
"God send it, sir."
"Well, Barny, I didn't hear from your brother Ned these two or three months; what has become of him?"
"Ah, yer Reverence, Pentland done him up."
"What! the gauger?"
"He did, the thief; but maybe he'll sup sorrow for it, afore he's much oulder."
"And who do you think informed, Barny?"
"Oh, I only wish we knew that, sir."
"I wish I knew it, and if I thought any miscreant here would become an informer, I'd make an example of him. Well, Barny, on Friday next: but I suppose Ned has a drop still—eh, Barny?"
"Why, sir, we'll be apt to have something stronger nor wather, anyhow."
"Very well, Barny; your family was always a dacent and spirited family, I'll say that for them; but, tell me, Barny, did you begin to dam the river yet? * I think the trouts and eels are running by this time."
 * It is usual among the peasantry to form, abo ut  Michaelmas, small artificial cascades, called dams,  under which they place long, deep, wicker cree ls,  shaped like inverted cones, for the purpose of securing  the fish that are now on their return to the l arge  rivers, after having deposited their spawn in the  higher and remoter streams. It is surprising w hat a  number of fish, particularly of eels, are caug ht in  this manner—sometimes from one barrel to three in the  course of a single night!
"The creels are made, yer Reverence, though we did not set them yet; but on Tuesday night, sir, wid the help o' God, we'll be ready."
"You can corn the trouts, Barny, and the eels too; but should you catch nothing, go to Pat Hartigan, Captain Sloethorn's gamekeeper, and, if you tell him it's for me, he'll drag you a batch out of the fish-pond."
"Ah! then, you're Reverence, it's himself that'll do that wid a heart an' a half."
Such was the conversation which took place between the Reverend Philemy M'Guirk, and those of his parishioners in whose houses he had appointed to hold a series of Stations, for the week ensuing the Sunday laid in this our account of that hitherto undescribed portion of the Romish discipline.
Now, the reader is to understand, that a station in this sense differs from a station made to any peculiar spot remarkable for local sanctity. There, a station means the performance of a pilgrimage to a certain place, under peculiar circumstances, and the going through a stated number of prayers and other penitential ceremonies, for the purpose of wiping out sin in this life, or of relieving the soul of some relation from the pains of purgatory in the other; here, it simply means the coming of the parish priest and his curate to some house in the town-land, on a day publicly announced from the altar for that purpose, on the preceding Sabbath.
This is done to give those who live within the district in which the station is held an opportunity of coming to their duty, as frequenting the ordinance of confession is emphatically called. Those who attend confession in this manner once a year, are considered merely to have done their duty; it is expected, however, that they should approach the tribunal,* as it is termed, at least twice during that period, that is, at the two great festivals of Christmas and Easter. The observance or omission of this rite among Roman Catholics, establishes, in a great degeee, the nature of individual character. The man who,frequents his duty will seldom be pronounced a bad man, let his conduct and principles be what they may in other respects; and he who neglects it, is looked upon, by those who attend it, as in a state little short of reprobation.
 * That is, of confession—so going to confessio n is  termed by the priests.
When the "giving out" of the stations was over, and a few more jests were broken by his Reverence, to which the congregation paid the tribute of a general and uproarious laugh, he turned round, and resumed the performance of the mass, whilst his "flock" began to finger their beads with faces as grave as if nothing of the kind had occurred. When mass was finished, and the holy water sprinkled upon the people, out of a tub carried by the mass-server through the chapel for that purpose, the priest gave them a Latin benediction, and they dispersed.
Now, of the five individuals in whose houses the "stations" were appointed to be held, we will selectPhaddhy Sheemus Phaddhyfor our purpose; and this we do, because it was the first time in which a station was ever kept in his house, and consequently Phaddhy and his wife had to undergo the initiatory ceremony of entertaining FatherPhilemy and his curate, the ReverendCon M'Coul, at dinner.
Phaddhy Sheemus Phaddhyhad been, until a short time before the period in question, a very poor man; but a little previous to that event, a brother of his, who had no children, died very rich—that is, for a farmer—and left him his property, or, at least, the greater part of it. While Phaddhy was poor, it was surprising what little notice he excited from his Reverence; in fact, I have heard
him acknowledge, that during all the days of his poverty, he never got a nod of recognition or kindness from Father Philemy, although he sometimes did, he said, from Father Con, his curate, who honored him on two occasions so far as to challenge him to a bout at throwing the shoulder-stone, and once to a leaping match, at both of which exercises Father Con, but for the superior power of Phaddhy, had been unrivalled.
"It was an unlucky day to him," says Phaddy, "that he went to challenge me, at all at all; for I was the only man that ever bate him, and he wasn't able to hould up his head in the parish for many a day afther."
As soon, however, as Phaddhy became a man of substance, one would almost think that there had been a secret relationship between his good fortune and Father Philemy's memory; for, on their first meeting, after Phaddhy's getting the property, the latter shook him most cordially by the hand—a proof that, had not his recollection been as much improved as Phaddhy's circumstances, he could by no means have remembered him; but this is a failing in the memory of many, as well as in that of Father Philemy. Phaddhy, however,was no Donnell, to use his own expression, and saw as far into a deal board as another man.
"And so, Phaddy," said the priest, "how are all your family?—six you have, I think?"
"Four, your Rev'rence, only four," said Phaddy, winking at Tim Dillon, his neighbor, who happened to be present—"three boys an' one girl."
"Bless my soul, and so it is indeed, Phaddy, and I ought to know it; an how is your wife Sarah?—I mean, I hope Mrs. Sheemus Phaddhy is well: by the by, is that old complaint of hers gone yet?—a pain in the stomach, I think it was, that used to trouble her; I hope in God, Phaddhy, she's getting over it, poor thing. Indeed, I remember telling her, last Easter, when she came to her duty, to eat oaten bread and butter with water-grass every morning fasting, it cured myself of the same complaint."
"Why, thin, I'm very much obliged to your Rev'rence for purscribin' for her," replied Phaddhy; "for, sure enough, she has neither pain nor ache, at the present time, for the best rason in the world, docthor, that she'll be dead jist seven years, if God spares your Rev'rence an' myself till to-morrow fortnight, about five o'clock in the mornin'."
This was more than Father Philemy could stand with a good conscience, so after getting himself out of the dilemma as well as he could, he shook Phaddhy again very cordially by the hand, saying, "Well, good-bye, Phaddliy, and God be good to poor Sarah's soul—I now remember her funeral, sure enough, and a dacent one it was, for indeed she was a woman that had everybody's good word—and, between you and me, she made a happy death, that's as far as we can judge here; for, after all, there may be danger, Phaddy, there may be danger, you understand—however, it's your own business, and your duty, too, to think of that; but I believe you're not the man that would be apt to forget her."
"Phaddhy, ye thief o' the world," said Jim Dillon, when Father Philemy was gone, there's no comin' up to ye; how could you make sich a fool of his Rev'rence, as to tell im that Katty was dead, and that you had only four childher, an' you has eleven o' them, an' the wife in good health?"
"Why, jist, Tim," replied Phaddhy, with his usual shrewdness, "to tache his Reverence himself to practise truth a little; if he didn't know that I got the stockin'
of guineas and the Linaskey farm by my brother Barney's death, do ye think that he'd notish me at all at all?—not himself, avick; an' maybe he won't be afther comin' round to me for a sack of my best oats,* instead of the bushel I used to give him, and houldin' a couple of stations wid me every year."
 * The priest accompanied by a couple of servan ts each  with a horse and sack, collects from such of h is  parishioners as can afford it, a quantity of o ats,  varying with the circumstances of the donor. T his  collection—calledQuesting—is voluntary on the part  of his parishioners who may refuse it it they wish;  very few are found however, hardy enough to ri sk the  obloquy of declining to contribute, and the co nsequence  is that the custom operates with as much force as if it  were legal and compulsory.
"But won't he go mad when he hears you tould him nothing but lies?"
"Not now, Tim," answered Phaddhy—"not now; thank God,—I'm not a poor man, an' he'll keep his temper. I'll warrant you the horsewhip won't be up now, although, afore this, I wouldn't say but it might—though the poorest day I ever was, 'id's myself that wouldn't let priest or friar lay a horsewhip to my back, an' that you know, Tim."
Phaddhy's sagacity, however, was correct; for, a short time after this conversation, Father Philemy, when collecting his oats, gave him a call, laughed heartily at the sham account of Katty's death, examined young Briney in his Latin, who was called after his uncle, pronounced him very cute, and likely to become a great scholar—promised his interest with the bishop to get him into Maynooth, and left the family, after having shaken hands with, and stroked down the heads of all the children.
When Phaddhy, on the Sunday in question, heard the public notice given of the Station about to be held in his house, notwithstanding his correct knowledge of Father Philemy's character, on which he looked with a competent portion of contempt, he felt a warmth of pride about his heart, that arose from the honor of having a station, and of entertaining the clergy, in their official capacity, under his own roof, and at his own expense—that gave him, he thought, a personal consequence, which even the "stockin' of guineas" and the Linaskey farm were unable, of themselves, to confer upon him. He did enjoy, 'tis true, a very fair portion of happiness on succeeding to his brother's property; but this would be a triumph over the envious and ill-natured remarks which several of his neighbors and distant relations had taken the liberty of indulging in against him, on the occasion of his good fortune. He left the chapel, therefore, in good spirits, whilst Briney, on the contrary, hung a lip of more melancholy pendency than usual, in dread apprehension of the examination that he expected to be inflicted on him by his Reverence at the station.
Before I introduce the conversation which took place between Phaddhy and Briney, as they went home, on the subject of this literary ordeal, I must observe, that there is a custom, hereditary in some Irish families, of calling fathers by their Christian names, instead of by the usual appellation of "father." This usage was observed, not only by Phaddhy and his son, but by all the Phaddys of that family, generally. Their surname was Doran, but in consequence of the great numbers in that part of the country who bore the same name, it was necessary as of old, to distinguish the several branches of it by the Christian names of their fathers and grandfathers, and sometimes this distinction went as far back as the great-grandfather. For instance—Phaddhy Sheemus Phaddhy,
meant Phaddhy, the son of Sheemus, the son of Phaddhy; and his son, Briney, was called, Brian Phaddy Sheemus Phaddy, or,anglice, Bernard the son of Patrick, the son of James, the son of Patrick. But the custom of children calling fathers, in a viva voce manner, by their Christian names, was independent of the other more general usage of the patronymic.
"Well, Briney," said Phaddy, as the father and son returned home, cheek by jowl from the chapel, "I suppose Father Philemy will go very deep in the Latin wid ye on Thursday; do ye think ye'll be able to answer him?"
"Why, Phaddhy," replied Briney, "how could I be able to answer a clargy? —doesn't he know all the languages, and I'm only in theFibulae AEsiopiiyet."
"Is that Latin or Greek, Briney?"
"It's Latin, Phaddhy."
"And what's the translation of that?"
"It signifies the Fables of AEsiopius."
"Bliss my sowl! and Briney, did ye consther that out of yer own head?"
"Hogh! that's little of it. If ye war to hear me constherGallus Gallinaceus, a dunghill cock?"
"And, Briney, are ye in Greek at all yet?"
"No, Phaddhy, I'll not be in Greek till I'm in Virgil and Horace, and thin I'll be near finished."
"And how long will it be till that, Briney?"
"Why, Phaddhy, you know I'm only a year and a half at the Latin, and in two years more I'll be in the Greek."
"Do ye think will ye ever be as larned as! Father Philemy, Briney?"
"Don't ye, know whin I'm a clargy I will but I'm only alignum sacerdotis yet, Phaddhy."
"What'sligdum saucerdoatis, Briney?"
"A block of a priest, Phaddhy."
"Now, Briney, I suppose Father Philemy knows everything."
"Ay, to be sure he does; all the languages' that's spoken through the world, Phaddhy."
"And must all the priests know them, Briney?—how many are they?"
"Seven—sartainly, every priest must know them, or how could they lay the divil, if he'd, spake to them in a tongue they couldn't understand, Phaddhy?"
"Ah, I declare, Briney, I see it now; only for that, poor Father Philip, the heavens be his bed, wouldn't be able to lay ould Warnock, that haunted Squire Sloethorn's stables."
"Is that when the two horses was stole, Phaddhy?"
"The very time, Briney; but God be thanked, Father Philip settled him to the day of judgment."
"And where did he put him, Phaddhy?"
"Why, he wanted to be put anundher the hearth-stone; but Father Philip made him walk away with himself into a thumb-bottle, and tied a stone to it, and then sent him to where he got a cooling, the thief, at the bottom of the lough behind the house."
"Well, I'll tell you what I'm thinking I'll be apt to do, Phaddhy, when I'm a clargy."
"And what is that, Briney?"
"Why, I'll—but, Phaddhy,don't be talking of this, bekase, if it should come to be known, I might get my brains knocked out by some of the heretics."
"Never fear, Briney, there's no danger of that—but what is it?"
"Why, I'll translate all the Protestants into asses, and then we'll get our hands red of them altogether."
"Well, that flogs for cuteness, and it's a wondher the clargy* doesn't do it, and them has the power; for 'twould give us pace entirely. But, Briney, will you speak in Latin to Father Philemy on Thursday?"
* I have no hesitation in asserting that the bulk of the uneducated peasantry really believe that the priests have this power.
"To tell you the thruth, Phaddhy, I would rather he wouldn't examine me this bout, at all at all."
"Ay, but you know we couldn't go agin him, Briney, bekase he promised to get you into the college. Will you speak some Latin, now till I hear you?"
"Hem!—Verbum personaley cohairit cum nomnatibo numbera at persona at numquam sera yeast at bonis moras voia."
"Bless my heart!—and, Briney, where's that taken from?"
"From Syntax, Phaddhy."
"And who was Syntax—do you know, Briney?"
"He was a Roman, Phaddhy, bekase there's a Latin prayer in the beginning of the book."
"Ay, was he—a priest, I'll warrant him. Well, Briney, do you mind yer Latin, and get on wid yer larnin', and when you grow up you'll have a pair of boots, and a horse of your own (and a good broadcloth black coat, too) to ride on, every bit as good as Father Philemy's, and may be betther nor Father Con's."
From this point, which usually wound up these colloquies between the father and son, the conversation generally diverged into the more spacious fields of science; so that by the time they reached home, Briney had probably given the father a learned dissertation upon the elevation of the clouds above the earth, and told him within how many thousand miles they approached it, at their nearest point of approximation.
"Katty," said Phaddhy, when he got home, "we're to have a station here on Thursday next: 'twas given out from the altar to-day by Father Philemy."
"Oh, wurrah, wurrah!" exclaimed Katty, overwhelmed at the consciousness of
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