92
pages
English
Documents
1967
Le téléchargement nécessite un accès à la bibliothèque YouScribe Tout savoir sur nos offres
92
pages
English
Ebook
1967
Le téléchargement nécessite un accès à la bibliothèque YouScribe Tout savoir sur nos offres
Publié par
Publié le
01 mars 1967
Nombre de lectures
4
Licence :
Langue
English
Publié par
Publié le
01 mars 1967
Nombre de lectures
4
Licence :
Langue
English
by
Mel Brooks
March, 1967
CLOSE-UP OF LITTLE OLD LADY.She blows a kiss and WAVES GOOD-BYE.
GESTURES.
BIALYSTOCK'S OFFICE DOOR READS:
MAX BIALYSTOCK - THEATRICAL PRODUCER
TURNS, BLOWS ANOTHER KISS AND ONCE MORE WAVES GOODBYE. BIALYSTOCK GRACIOUSLY ANSWERS IN KIND.
Don't forget the checkee.Can't produce playees without checkees.
You can count on me-o, you dirty young man.
SMILE.THE LITTLE OLD LADY'S FOOTSTEPS.BEGIN TO FADE. BIALYSTOCK'S FACE QUICKLY RESUMES ITS NORMAL EXPRESSION -- DESPAIR AND DISGUST.HE THEN REACHES INTO HIS VEST POCKET, PULLS OUT AN OLD-FASHIONED, POCKET WATCH AND EARNESTLY CONSULTS ITS FACE.
BIALYSTOCK MOVES WITH A QUICK SHUFFLING GAIT TO HIS DESK. FROM THE TOP OF IT HE PICKS UP A FRAMED PHOTOGRAPH.
CAMERA INSERT: CLOSE-UP OF PHOTOGRAPH.IT IS FACE OF LITTLE OLD LADY WHO HAS JUST LEFT.
FILLED WITH TAGGED KEYS.HE PICKS UP A KEY.
CAMERA INSERT: TAG ON KEY READS: INVESTORS FILE.
MOVES ACROSS HIS OFFICE TO A LARGE, DOUBLE-DOORED CABINET. HE UNLOCKS CABINET.
SIMILARLY FRAMED PHOTOGRAPHS OF LITTLE OLD LADIES.
PROPER NICHE AND BEGINS TO LOOK THROUGH THE FACES.
CAMERA SLOWLY PANS ROWS OF PHOTOGRAPHS, BIALYSTOCK'S P.O.V.
2.
(Voice Over)
"Hold me, touch me', 'hold me, touch me', 'hold me, touch me', where is 'hold me, touch me'?Ahhh ... here we are.'Hold me, touch me.'"
BIALYSTOCK'S HAND MOVES INTO THE FRAME AND PICKS UP PHOTOGRAPH.
CAMERA MOVES IN TO CLOSE-UP OF PHOTOGRAPH
JUST SEEN IN PHOTOGRAPH.
LIMOUSINE.EXTERIOR.DAY.
ALONG THROUGH NEW YORK'S THEATRICAL DISTRICT.
OF ONE OF THE THEATRES THAT LINE THE BLOCK.
REAR DOOR.THE LITTLE OLD LADY EMERGES.SHE LOWERS HER VEIL AND FURTIVELY DUCKS INTO THE BUILDING ENTRANCE.
LITTLE OLD LADY ENTERS.SHE RAISES HER VEIL, CHUCKLES GLEEFULLY, AND BEGINS TO ASCEND THE STAIRS.
LITTLE OLD LADY COMING DOWN.SHE QUICKLY DROPS HER VEIL. THE FIRST LITTLE OLD LADY DISCREETLY HIDES HER FACE WITH HER PURSE AS THEY PASS EACH OTHER ON THE LANDING.
HER WAY TO THE TOP.SHE HANGS ONTO THE BANISTER FOR SUPPORT AS SHE CATCHES HER BREATH.SHE RAISES HER VEIL, REACHES INTO HER PURSE, TAKES OUT A SMALL FLACON OF PERFUME AND SPRAYS DELICATELY BEHIND BOTH EARS.THOROUGHLY COMPOSED, SHE APPROACHES BIALYSTOCK'S DOOR.SHE RAPS ON THE DOOR THREE TIMES IN QUICK SUCCESSION, WAITS A MOMENT, RAPS TWICE AND THEN THREE TIMES AGAIN.SUDDENLY THE DOOR IS FLUNG OPEN.
MEDIUM SHOT.MAX BIALYSTOCK
(leering)
Darling!
3.
MEDIUM SHOT OVER BIALYSTOCK'S SHOULDER.LITTLE OLD LADY.
(passionately)
Hold me, touch me.
A PASSIONATE EMBRACE.
Devil woman.
FREEZE ACTION.
SUPER-IMPOSE FIRST CREDIT:ZERO MOSTEL.
RESUME ACTION.
THE LITTLE OLD LADY GIGGLES JOYOUSLY AND THEN SLIPS FROM
THE COUCH.SHE POPS HER HEAD UP.
Finder's keepers.
FREEZE ACTION.
SUPER-IMPOSE: TITLE OF FILM
RESUME ACTION.
Here I come, ready or not.
BIALYSTOCK LEAPS THROUGH THE AIR TOWARDS THE COUCH.
FREEZE-ACTION.
CREDIT.
RESUME ACTION.
LADY COQUETTISHLY CRAWLS TO HIM.
What's the matter?Papa no want to play with baby?
Ohhhhhh.
FREEZE-ACTION.
4.
CREDIT.
RESUME ACTION.
A CHAIR, CROSSES HER LEG SEDUCTIVELY, RAISES HER SKIRT JUST ABOVE HER KNEE REVEALING A GOLDEN ROSE AND GARTER.
FREEZE-ACTION.
CREDIT.
RESUME ACTION.
BIALYSTOCK STRUGGLES TO HIS FEET.
Come to Papa.Come to Papa do.
LITTLE OLD LADY LEAPS OUT OF HER CHAIR AND POSES, COYLY.
To the victor go the spoils.
DUCKS BEHIND IT.BIALYSTOCK TIPTOES ON TO CHAIR AND PEEKS OVER IT.
I'm gonna get you.
FREEZE-ACTION.
CREDIT.
RESUME ACTION.
SHE STRAIGHTENS HER LEGS AND SENDS THE CHAIR HURTLING ACROSS THE ROOM.
CLOSE-UP OF BIALYSTOCK'S FACE:TERROR.
FREEZE-ACTION.
CREDIT.
RESUME ACTION.
BIALYSTOCK CRASHES INTO RADIATOR.
Ohhhhhhhh.
5.
PREENING HERSELF AND PURRING.
Meeow.Meeow.I wonder where Old Tom is tonight?Meeow.
AND REPLACES IT WITH SWEETNESS.
Rowrrr.
PUSSY-CAT.
FREEZE-ACTION.
CREDIT.
RESUME ACTION.
NEAR HERS AND SOFTLY MEWS INTO HER EAR.SHE SUDDENLY LETS OUT A FIERCE HOWL AS SHE REBUFFS HIM WITH A SAVAGE SWIPE OF HER "PAW".BIALYSTOCK GRABS HIS STRICKEN FACE WITH BOTH HANDS AND SHRIEKS.
Aieeeeyiyiyiyiyi,
CLOSE-UP OF BIALYSTOCK'S PAIN-RIDDEN FEATURES.
STOP ACTION.
CREDIT.
RESUME ACTION.
LAP.FROM HIS BREAST POCKET SHE TAKES A HANDKERCHIEF AND TENDERLY DABS HIS CHEEK WITH IT.
Oh, Bialy, Bialy, darling, did I hurt you?
FREEZE-ACTION.
CREDIT.
RESUME ACTION.
6.
My hand.My hand.I can't turn my hand. (he turns his hand)
THERE IS A RAPPING AT THE DOOR.WE HEAR IT, THEY DON'T.
(taking his hand)
Don't worry.I'll kiss it and make it well. (she smothers his hand with kissers)
(trying to rescue his hand)
Enough.It's better.Please, Lambchop, it's better.Stop. You're hurting it again.
CUT TO DOOR.IT OPENS.LEO BLOOM ENTERS.
(his forward motion arrested by the unbelievable scene) How do you do.I mean ... Excuse me ... I mean ...
You mean ooops, don't you?Say ooops and get out.
I'll wait in the hall ...
Oooooooops!
(backing out of door)
Ooooooops.
LITTLE OLD LADY HOPS OFF BIALYSTOCK'S LAP AND GOES TO DOOR.
I can't abide a peeping Tom. There's one in the apartment just opposite my bedroom window.I swear that man NEVER takes his field glasses off me for a minute.
7.
SHE LOCKS DOOR AND STARTS BACK TOWARD BIALYSTOCK.
Feeling better?
BIALYSTOCK NODS HIS HEAD IN ASSENT.
Good.Let's fool around.Now, I'll be the innocent little milk maid and you'll be the naughty stable boy. (she goes into her act) Oh, this milk is so heavy.I'll never reach the house.Help.Will someone help me?
(stopping her)
Wait.Wait.We can't play today. I have too many appointments.
(crushed)
We can't play today?
Thursday.Thursday.We'll play Thursday.We'll play the Contessa and the chauffeur.
Oh, the best one.
(trying to steer her towards the door) Until Thursday, then, Contessa Mio.
(she sits on the sofa)
Oh, Bialy, please, just a little. Just a little.
(harassed)
All right.All right.
HANDS ON THE WHEEL.
8.
So, the Count hired you this morning, Rudolfo ... Watch the road ... Watch the road.
I can't take my eyes off you.How can I drive when you drive me mad. Mad.
(she squeals with delight)
Rudolfo, you dirty pig!Pull over.
(upright)
Good.That's enough.We'll do the rest on Thursday. (he reaches down and helps her off the couch) That's a good girl. (leading her to the door) It's always such fun to see you.
BIALYSTOCK OPENS THE DOOR AND USHERS HER OUT ONTO THE LANDING.
WE SEE HIM.THEY DO NOT.BLOOM, VERY EMBARRASSED, HUGS THE WALL TRYING TO MAKE HIMSELF LESS CONSPICUOUS.
BIALYSTOCK'S DOOR.
Until Thursday, then, you bawdy wench.
HE SLAPS HER ON THE RUMP.
Oooh.I love it.Hold me, touch me.
CUT TO BLOOM IN SHADOWS, AGHAST.
BACK TO MEDIUM SHOT LITTLE OLD LADY AND BIALYSTOCK.
Thursday.I'll see you Thursday.
And we'll finish playing the Contessa and Rudolfo.
9.
Good.Yes.Thursday.
And after that we'll play the Abduction and cruel rape of Lucretia ... And I'll play Lucretia.
LOOKS THE OTHER WAY.SUDDENLY HIS EYES WIDEN IN SURPRISE, AS HE DISCOVERS ANOTHER MAN HIDING IN THE NEXT DOORWAY.THE MAN PUTS A FINGER TO HIS LIPS INDICATING SILENCE.THERE IS NO PLACE LEFT FOR BLOOM TO LOOK.HE LOOKS TO HEAVEN.
BACK TO LITTLE OLD LADY AND BIALYSTOCK.
Oh, Thursday.Will Thursday ever come?
(to himself)
Like clockwork.
SHE STARTS TO DESCEND.
I shall count the minutes.
Goodbye, my angel ... My angel! (calling after her) Hey, touch me ... wait!Hey, uh ... Lucretia, Lucretia!
LADY FLIES BACK UP THE STAIRS.
(eagerly)
Yes???
Oh, Angelcake, you forgot to give me the check.Can't produce a play without money, ha, ha, ha.
HIDDEN IN THE SECOND DOORWAY.ONCE AGAIN THE MAN GESTURES FOR HIM TO BE SILENT.
CUT BACK TO BIALYSTOCK AND THE OLD LADY.
10.
(opening her handbag and reaching inside) Of course, the check, I had it with me all the time.
SHE TAKES OUT THE CHECK AND HANDS IT TO HIM.
I don't know what's happening to me. I must be getting old.
BIALYSTOCK TAKES CHECK AND READS IT.
Is it all right?I made it out to cash.You didn't tell me the name of the play.
Oh, it's fine.Fine.Good.Good. Bye.Bye.
Til Thursday, my Darling, I shall count the minutes.
SHE STARTS TO DESCEND.