One Saliva Bubble

"ONE SALIVA BUBBLE" Screenplay by David Lynch And Mark Frost First Draft 5/20/87 UNPRODUCED FADE IN: INT. HIGH-TECH TRACKING STATION - NIGHT A top-secret, experimental, offensive/defensive military installation hidden away in the countryside outside Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. CLOSE on a beautiful, intricate, state of the art computer panel as it is lifted out of a large console. A huge, dimly lit display board, sporting a galaxy of small running lights, looms above. The panel's removal creates a large, vulnerable opening, inside of which is a massive confluence of electronics. As a small group of refined, well-groomed SCIENTISTS studiously examine the removed panel, their intense concentration is periodically disrupted by the hysterical guffaws of a nearby group of three uniformed SECURITY GUARDS, who appear to be refugees from the Neolithic period. The Guards, totally oblivious to the Scientists, are regaling each other with pitiful and infantile jokes. GUARD #1 ...so she said to him, "poo-poo on your pee-pee". The Guards explode like a pack of howling hyenas. The Scientists glance over at them with a look that seems to say, "How is it possible for us to be sharing the same planet?" GUARD #2 Did you just cut a big one or is Suzie back in town? Guard #3, the biggest Neanderthal of the bunch, stops laughing long enough to contribute a rude, tongue-flapping raspberry, during the course of which...