Life of Brian

Angels' Choir: [Sort of a Chant to the Star of Bethlehem] Brian: Uhuhlk! Gaspar: Hrmhrm! Mother falling off stool: [Crash] Mother: Uhooh! Who are you? Gaspar: We are three wise men. Mother: What? Melchior: We are three wise men. Mother: Well, what are you doing creeping under a couch at two o'clock in the morning? That doesn't sound very wise to me. Balthasar: We are astrologists. Melchior: We have come from the East. Mother: Is this some kind of joke? Gaspar: We wish to praise the infant. Melchior: We must pay a homage to him. Mother: Homage? You're all drunk! It's disgusting! Out! Come on, out! Gaspar: No... Mother: Barge in here with tales about all the ancient fortune-tellers. Come on, out! Gaspar: No, no, we must see him! Mother: Go and praise someone else's brat! Go on! Melchior: We...we were led by a star! Mother: Led by a bottle more like! Go on, out! Melchior: Well, well, we must see him, we have brought presents! Mother: Out! Gaspar: Gold, frankincense, myrrh! Mother: Well, why didn't you say? He's over there. Sorry the place is a...bit of a mess. Well, what is myrrh anyway? Balthasar: It is a valuable balm. Mother: A balm?! What are you giving him a balm for? It might bite him! Balthasar: What? Mother: That's a dangerous animal! Quick, throw it in the trough! Melchior: No, it isn't! Mother: Yes, it is! It's great big uhug... Gaspar: No, no, no, it is an ointment. Mother: Oh, well, there is an animal called a balm, or did I dream it?